Dh getting into power struggle over "I'm sorry" - any advice?

[Paeta16]

So, both my DH and I feel that it is important for DD to say "I'm sorry" if she hurts someone, be it purposefully or accidentally. We've shown her by example for sure...I apologize to her all the time for various things and we apologize to each other in front of her as well. We've tried teaching her this concept (a little ahead of her yet) using words also...For example: "When we hurt someone by kicking we say 'I'm sorry' because it helps to show we care.'" We also FULLY accept her showing that she is sorry in the form of a hug or a kiss or a pat on the head (in the case of the dog)! LOL

That being said, lately DH seems REALLY adamant that she say sorry even if she doesn't want to/won't and he gets into power struggles with her. I see this going nowhere FAST.

Any advice on how to convince DH to just let it go with DD? I mean I want her to be empathetic and polite (he's done it with please and thank-you as well) but IMHO this is not going to help - she's only 26 months old.

Thanks!

[LittleSoulMama]

I found this a useful article for relatives who were pushing enforced 'manners' when DS was about 24-26months. They backed off and DS wasn't made (or even asked) to say please, thank you or sorry. Now at 34months DS says please, thank choo and "I'm so sorry" a lot

http://www.naturalchild.org/naomi_aldort/manners.html

[phathui5]

You can tell you dh that I have four well-mannered children

At her age, I would relax about it. Model the behavior you want to use, get some books from the library about it. Talk about it when something happens. But don't get mad or fight about it.

[Surfacing]

Now that dd is 4 y.o. she usually says sorry but on occassion, when I can tell she feels very embarassed by the scenerio, I'll hug her and ask her if she needs help saying it. Sometimes she looks at me with very grateful eyes and says "yes". So she's saying sorry by proxy but it's also with me explaining (after discussing with dd1) that dd was very excited and didn't realize blah blah blah...

[foreverinbluejeans]

I never made my 3 sons say they were sorry. I would say it for them. As they got older they would say it for themselves because they didn't want their 'mommy' to say it for them. They each have faults but they are all very polite and that is the compliment I always get about them.

[MamaLaurie]

you and DH both have the same goal. Its stinks sometimes that you just have different ideas on how to reach that goal. Good Luck

[BellaClaudia]

okay I got the funny one..

my DH does never say sorry or thank you or excuseme or please..
and I am sure he was never thought that either..

so I don't know.. to teach or not to teach..

some say if you enforce you get nowhere but
clearly some can get just there without all the effort :

oh and btw... I say all of the above for the two of us probably
as I was forced with whatever it took to be obedient, polite
and nice.. oh that and also maybe because I as a child figured
out that I got some nice response and so it was somehow
a pavlov association mostly.