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July Pagan Circle - Page 3

post #41 of 437
I just bought sparklers at a local bookstore. I had no idea it was legal to buy sparklers in a store! Yay!

Ds won't handle one but I'm sure he'll enjoy looking at them.
post #42 of 437
i feel so much better today. it softly rained alst night and i had the windows open. i love that. there is something so refreshing for me sleeping with an open window with a soft gentle summer rain. i feel absolutely great today! it iis nice and cool and still raining some. a nice gentle cleansing. Thank You Mother Earth for just what I needed! My soul feels clean again.

I plan on taking the kids to see the firewoks tonight. it is a no smoking no drinking college campus. it is enforced. i know some people get cranky about that sort of thing but i think it is great! i dont have to worry about broken beer bottles or my kids getting accidentally burned by a cigarette. that is why i dont go to downtown parades anymore. people just walk throught the crowd with the cigs haning at my kids eye level. DH said he doesnt care if it is like that. he will smoke right before we get on the grounds and then wait till we leave. it is more important to him that his kids have a good time. love that man! However, my one friend who is always begging me to spend time with them is whining b/c i "chose" to do something that interferes with his drinking and smoking. . umm ok. whatever.

tomorrow, i get my wedding pics. well at least the most of them. apparently my uncle is working on something special and wont send it until next week. i cant wait to post some pics for you guys. my wedding was 2 whole months ago! lol.

i hope the air smells this good all day. i will be such a happy mama. i feel patient and kind. zen even!
post #43 of 437
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post
it is a no smoking no drinking college campus. it is enforced. i know some people get cranky about that sort of thing but i think it is great!
I think it's great, too!
Glad you're feeling better.
post #44 of 437
We are continuing to ride the rollercoaster. When we got to the clinic again yesterday, we tried an ultrasound, again without a clear image. All the OB seems to be able to see is a thickened endometrial lining. The radiologist, who is the one who came up with the molar pregnancy idea, reviewed the images again and in his final report, he changed his mind and said that's not what it is. I asked the doctor to have them take my hCG levels again and I waited for the results...they went from 8271 on Monday to 17271 on Friday, which is exactly normal. In the case that it was a molar pregnancy, the hCG levels are usually higher than normal...in the case of an ectopic, the hCG is usually lower than normal. After talking to my midwife, we decided the best course of action is to wait. There is nothing showing any harm, but nothing clear in the images (even though the doctor still wants a D&C). Later that night, we went to St. Jacobs to get a gift for someone and I started having some serious pain and could barely walk...so we went to the ER in Kitchener-Waterloo (about 2 hours or so away...). After several hours of waiting, we had a doctor who didn't even try an ultrasound or an internal exam...nothing. She just looked at my with her eyes and said, some stuff that made no sense (she said I had degenerating uterine fibroids...which you would have been able to see on the ultrasound I had that very morning!). That brings me to this morning, we had some more bleeding, which seems to be going away again. The odd thing is, it is about the regular interval of a menstrual cycle since the last episode of bleeding...which leads me to a conversation with our secondary midwife this morning...she said it is possible that it is a "viable" (to use the medical term) pregnancy but there is blood in the uterus and you can't see through that in an ultrasound. She is currently following a woman with twins who is bleeding quite profusely she said, so anything can be possible. This only confirms our wish to wait and see what happens and avoid any surgery options along the way.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts...I am going to continue to take it easy...time for some more water and some food for me. DH let me take a great nap this afternoon since I wasn't feeling well (we got in at 3am, but of course DD slept at the hospital, so she was up at 7:30 wanting to eat and play).

I do teach prenatal tomorrow and I will have help to demonstrate comfort positions so I can take it really easy. I'm going to let the Goddess take care of me and show me what needs to be done. By listening to my body, I hope she will tell me what I need.

I hope that everyone in the US is having a wonderful Independence Day and I hope you have the beautiful weather that I can see sitting by this window (although maybe warmer for your comfort lol).

Blessings to everyone!
post #45 of 437
We usually avoid fireworks displays...because middle child has a serious sensitivity to sounds (covers his ears if he has to walk into a public restroom because the air circulation units hurt... )

When the wee ones are older we'll go in to DC to watch the Capitol Fourth celebration. It's supposed to be amazing...and insane.

The weather here has been stunning!

Nicole -- wow! that is a rollercoaster ride! I'll keep sending you my best thoughts/prayers/vibes.
post #46 of 437
singin... what a rollercoaster Rest & take care of yourself...I hope your body lets you know what's going on soon hun. THe up and down wouldn't be easy without pg hormones!

Mary.. fireworks would be a no go for us too lol. My 7yo freaks and covers his ears if his 3yr old brother screams or cries too loud And Australians seem to find any excuse to have fireworks, Local football club has a big game? fireworks! Queens' birthday? fireworks! (even though she's half way round the world and won't see them lol) thursday is a public holiday? fireworks!!!!!!!! We used to watch them from our driveway (football club) which was about as close as Lucas would want to be.

Our planned fishing trip (just casting a few lines into the bay from the jetty) is off, as dh forgot to check the tides and it won't be in till 845 tonigth lol. The kids would be casting into smellly mud So we'll pass till next weekend!
post #47 of 437

Singin- Oh hon, the wait and wondering is so hard. *hugs* hang in there

Cari-mud is fun between the toes but not so fun for fishing in.

Bella- how were the fireworks?
post #48 of 437
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post
Marys' lovely drive has me thinking I'll go ask dh if he wants to take a drive instead
Oh, I'm so jealous...sigh. Nobody to drive *me* around. It actually feels weird to me to ever be a passenger. What a luxury that would be.

Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
Happy Independence Day! For years and years, this holiday has been nothing more than another fun day to picnic and play, but I would really like for it to be more.

Would it be wrong of me to have a bagel and piece of cake for breakfast? I can balance it out cause it is peanut butter frosting, so its a protein, right?

We went to the movies last night and saw the new Johnny Depp movie, Public Enemies.
That's why I watch The Patriot every year. Also why I cherish Phyllis Curott's speech at PSG a couple years ago, when it seemed to be a real threat that the theocratic right was going to take over the nation. I am much more of a patriotic person since then, but for very personal reasons. I can share with you guys-- but the general public wouldn't understand

Peanut butter icing? Blech! But enjoy your justification, dear

Johnny Depp has a new movie?

Originally Posted by singin_angel View Post
We are continuing to ride the rollercoaster.

I am going to continue to take it easy...time for some more water and some food for me.
egads , singin', you sure have been through the wringer good plan to take it easy and be gentle to yourself.

Another thought, y'all: Most of our campmates at PSG this year smoked cigarettes. Nobody thought twice about smoking around the children, though they did sort of try not to blow directly at any kids, or let them sit on laps while cigs were lit.
I know that's not a reportable offense (though I wish it were), but the other single mom who got so stressed by the end of the week that she fell out in a fetal position with a nervous breakdown, and had to be taken to Med Tent to chill, accidentally burned one of her toddler twins between his nose and upper lip with a cigarette at PSG. Why did the UAV guy not turn her in? Meh.

QUESTION: If you were interviewing people to potentially live with you and help care for your child, what kinds of questions would you ask of them? I'm going to meet someone tomorrow, and time is starting to be of the essence. I have no idea what to ask, except why is she interested in the position.

OH, not to add more to my plate-- last year, ds's school started two days before mine. Yay, two days to get ready for college, and to chill w/o ds! This year, his school starts a full eight days after mine!! What in the world am I going to do with him for eight days, when I have to be at school and he doesn't??? Let's really hope that whoever lives here will be willing to care for him all dang day, for eight days. Otherwise, I'm pretty screwed.
post #49 of 437
Singin- yack spittal and penguin poo! What an emotional wringer! There is a thread over in birth and beyond that I started a few years ago, the title is something like "when the bleeding was ok" (I'll see if I can find it but my computer connection is sllllllloooooow today). Basically with dd1's pregnancy I had bright red, fill a pad, menstrual style bleeding every month when I would have had my regular moon time. The first few times I was told it was a m/c and sent home to wait. Eventually they started checking for previa and cord insertion abnormalities and fibroids. Everything was fine (dd1 is now 4yo) and they never found a reason for the bleeding. But it scared the pants off me and added a massive layer of stress to the experience. I started the thread because I really needed something other than the baby book doom and gloom and I was amazed at how many women have had similar experiences. Sometimes it does end with a spirit baby but not always, and the thread may be helpful to you as you wait...

Big hugs.
post #50 of 437
Morning, it's been quite awhile since I've posted. Life's been very full with, well, life. Besides the typical stuff that comes, I have two friends who are critically ill. I found out on the same day that they would probably not survive. Now, it looks as if one has a pretty good chance at making it through this situation (which is totally beyond expectations), and the other friend had hospice come 2 days ago. I've been doing a lot of pondering about the life/death cycle the last few weeks. I've also been holding my littles a little closer.

Maia-I've read about your situation, and I'm so sorry. I admire you for not plugging in. That can't be easy. As far as the live-in person... I guess I'd want to know about their experiences and philosophies about children. I'd be hoping to talk to references since they would have access to my child. Since you've mentioned your ds had behavioral issues, I would explore that and ask for examples of how they would handle specific situations. I'm sure there are other things to ask, that's just off the top of my head. Good luck with finding a compatible person.

Singin-I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Keep breathing and doing the best you can. Is there any kind of time frame you're looking at for the waiting? For me, that would be very difficult. You're doing amazingly! Keep your support close.

Ok, we're moving in 10 days, so off to pack.

Take care
post #51 of 437
Thread Starter 
Singin_angel- What a wild ride. Hang in there and I hope you get some answers soon.

Maia_ I'd give a person specific type situations and ask how they'd handle it. Good luck!

We had a good 4th up here, it was hot at 100*. Lots of good food and neighborhood fun. I had lovely views of the moon and stars last night in addition to fireworks.

We are also working on unpacking and settling into the new house while there are still quite a few unfinished projects. I'm looking forward to putting alters up again, and I'd like to smudge the house too.
post #52 of 437
well, i don't want to ask questions that they can think "what answer would she like to hear?", y'know?

but those are good jumping off points. i hope to meet one of them tomorrow. one i think gave up. the other two, i can't talk to till the 15th.
it's really hard to put this in the hands of the Goddess and let it go 'till then. that's pushing it too close for me!

and yes, femme, it is *really* hard to not plug in. i've been musing, lately, and wondering if i unblock some of those people from FB, if i can find out any more w/o them knowing i unblocked them-- but then i go "NO! why would i want to do that?" and i don't unblock. i don't want them to have access to me, which is why i blocked them, but i've got mega-privacy going on there, now.
i just want to know what they're saying, if anything, so i can be prepared and not shocked, should anything else come up.

what i really need to be doing is focusing on ordering textbooks and filling out my malpractice insurance form, though
post #53 of 437
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
Oh, I'm so jealous...sigh. Nobody to drive *me* around. It actually feels weird to me to ever be a passenger. What a luxury that would be.
lol well, actually I tend to get a bit car sick at times as a passenger Even in the front seat.. but I do love to just take a drive & see what's out there :

Another thought, y'all: Most of our campmates at PSG this year smoked cigarettes. Nobody thought twice about smoking around the children, though they did sort of try not to blow directly at any kids, or let them sit on laps while cigs were lit.
I know that's not a reportable offense (though I wish it were),
No, not reportable... but certainly deplorable. My sil & bil smoke and think there's nothing wrong with it, nor anything wrong with their kids being around it. We put our foot down after my 5yo was PRETENDING to smoke after the last time we were around them. SIL actually rolls her own and uses one of those 40s style cigarette holders to glamourize it. : disgusting.
QUESTION: If you were interviewing people to potentially live with you and help care for your child, what kinds of questions would you ask of them? I'm going to meet someone tomorrow, and time is starting to be of the essence. I have no idea what to ask, except why is she interested in the position.[/QUOTE]Thta's a hard one, because it's so easy to give the 'perfect' answer. For me it would come down to describing one of my kids worst days and seeing how they thought they'd cope with that... and then trusting my gut instinct about what kind of person they are.

Now, mostly off topic Tomorrow I'm taking the boys to a semi Local Medieval festivals kids day! For about 20bucks, plus petrol to get there, the kids get to play in the camelot area (petting zoo, sand castle building and other fun stuff) make their own crown, paint a wooden shield, do brass rubbings and make medieval style coins among other things. Should be a fun day, wish me the peace of mind to cope lol
post #54 of 437
Hi all!!

Hope you all had a nice fourth!!

I have been serious busy the last few days here trying to come to a decision about something and IDK if I am any closer to a decision or not. We were offered my SIL's 2br home on a great lot in an AWESOME neighborhood for CHEAP. But since I live in a mobile home I am kind of stuck w/ my mobile home till it's payed off too. Decisions, decisions. I think we are going to try and get financed for it and rent it out while we work on paying down the mobile home mortgage.

Maia - I would ask what types of personal care postions they have done and demand references! I would also require them to submit to a background check.

Cari - have a great day tomorrow! It sounds super fun!

Singin_angel - boy what a ringer they are making you go thru!

Aeress - how was the new Depp movie? He is smoking hot in the preview!
post #55 of 437
Singin- I had pretty bad bleeding when I was about 5-6 weeks with my 3rd child. She was fine but I was gushing blood and big clots and was terrified. Luckily she was perfect. I hope all will go well with you!
post #56 of 437
Mornin all! The sun is so bright today, so we are avoiding direct contact until the sun moves and we get shade. We shelled peas, picked green beans and put up some soup fixins. *yummy*

gotta send out some emails and clean my living room, then goto a meeting.

Maia- important stuff to have in written form: list of do's and dont's for perspective in home care people. (can they use the tv and internet while your gone? etc) be very specific about how to handle discipline, going in the car, injury etc. trust your gut

Gun- do you like the house? will it fit your needs for the next 5-10 years or more? WHat kind of shape is it in? Houses are great as long as you are prepared to be in them for a bit. What a great opportunity!

Anyone have moon plans?
I don't track the cycles precisely, but do enjoy her when I can.

Johnny Depp- We don't speak of my enjoyment of that yummy man in our house but oh, Yes, he was yummy! Public Enemies was very good in my opinion.
post #57 of 437
Good morning lovely Goddesses!

Thank you all for your support, it is a big help in this time of uncertainty.

I do have an u/s tomorrow (the millionth one lol okay the seventh one this pregnancy, and this would be 7w4d) and I'm not expecting to see any big changes, but I would love to be pleasantly surprized! Not getting my hopes up though. I'm thinking tomorrow I will go to the midwifery clinic and get another hCG done. I don't have a timeline of how long I can wait, this is something that we are taking one day at a time. Basically, there is no harm to me in waiting (other than emotionally it does get exhausting).

I got a sunburn yesterday...I need to find a sunscreen that I don't react with...but it is challenging since we don't know what it is that doesn't work with me. I'm just a big anomally these days. It is making me feel freezing, especially when I touch that really warm skin...but we put on some aloe and that will help I know.

Cari - that outing sounds fantastic! I hope you all have a great time!

Maia - interviewing someone to take care of your darling ds sounds challenging. I would ask them about their views on raising kids, how they would deal with situations (especially ones that would usually be answered differently than how you would like it handled). Ask them about their previous experiences, what challenges they faced and how they overcame them...I probably have more "interview questions" somewhere in my head, if I can get them out, I'll let you know!

I am super tired, and I've been feeling a bit of nausea lately. Good sign? Who knows...no analyzing for me! No more research either. I think I need to focus on spirit at the moment (and maybe cleaning...I feel like a tornado came through the living room). I'm just having trouble getting started because I keep yawning, and I had 8 consecutive hours of sleep. Ugh.

DD goes in for her surgery at our local, but world known children's hospital. At least I know they really are great there, but that doesn't take away our worries.

Wishing you all a wonderful day!
post #58 of 437
Ugh... this weekend was just not fun. I'm waaaaaay too emotional/hormonal at this point in the pregnancy to deal calmly/rationally with stuff.

We have a new therapy schedule starting today so we're sort of stuck at home waiting for therapists till around noon... then there is lunch. After lunch I'll throw the girls in the car and (hopefully) at least dd2 will nap a bit. But THEN I want to take the girls to the craft shop and at least look at the beads. I haven't repaired my birthday strand, and my summer solstice strand is nifty but not really speaking to my current state of emotional/hormonal flux (and I didn't design my birth beads as "long term wear" beads so those are actually pearl strung on waxed linen thread and not really "real world" appropriate either)... I think I'm feeling really ungrounded.

It sounds totally silly in print, but I'm feeling very... well, not "lied to" exactly, but maybe "let down"? There were a number of things over the past year that DH promised to do which just never happened. Some are small and I just brushed them off, but some are pretty big and are having a serious impact on our family. And then this weekend sort of just melted away into one big mess... not anyone's fault, just life, but I'm not in any sort of happy place to deal with it!

So... mini-pit party at my place because gosh darn it I refuse to be this ungrounded and mushy right now!
post #59 of 437
Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
Anyone have moon plans?
I don't track the cycles precisely, but do enjoy her when I can.
The little gadget thingy I have on my igoogle page shows that the moon is at 99% full as of 9:40am here near Washington DC. I was thinking that it should be full soon as our yard was absolutely bathed in moonlight last night.

We always go out to find the moon on full moon nights. The attachlings make a game out of who can spot her first...challenging game given all the trees all around our home.

Clay -- you sound like you are about to go into labor, IMHO. I know that I sounded like that in the last few days before wee attachling #3 made her beautiful, homebirth arrival. (Not meaning at all to diminish your right to feel ticked-off by the things that didn't get done!)

Singin -- can you do straight zinc oxide for sunscreen? Yeah, not the loveliest...but effective and inexpensive, IIRC. Hope you get some resolution with the upcoming u/s. I had a dozen or more with my 1st & 3rd pregnancies and each time it was a combination of stress and bliss... It was only with my 4th pg that I had any bleeding/spotting, and that had me scared to death.

We drove around a bit more yesterday and dh did the driving again. I got so much knitting done because of it!
But this week I really need to get myself in gear and craft a couple of birthday presents for my middle-guy...he'll be 6 on July 20th. He's my little guy who healed my broken heart......but how did he get to be 6 so quickly?

post #60 of 437
Thread Starter 
Clay- I'll let a lot of things slide till they build up myself. I'm sure being pg and needing a home area to be revamped adds a lot to feeling ungrounded. So much is already uncertain in life you just want to count on some things, right? Hopefully today goes smoothly and you find the missing ingredient for your recent beads.

Nicole- you sound pretty good today I really hope that tomorrow you get some good news!

Mary- what are you knitting?

It's much cooler and rainy even this morning. I've got the windows open. Today, I hope to get a lot of organizing and unpacking done.
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