Wow that was the end

[phrogger]

Not sure how many others have decided that this last baby is it, but Shane was my last baby ever. DH and I had already decided we were done, but after my surgery and tubal, it was very obvious that my uterus was done and it probably would not be safe to ever be pregnant again.

So I am sitting here looking at my little man, knowing he is the last, and oddly enough, I am really not sad. I am excited and just even more in love with my guy and trying to enjoy every moment of it.

How is everyone else doing if they have decided this is the last one.

[Ianthe]

I am kind of on the fence about being the last one... if DH gets the V then, yes, it's our last. If not, there is always the possibility of more since I can't do hormones, and this one was the product of NFP/FAM.

I don't really want to ever be pregnant again though...

[jessielove]

Not good. I wish I could be as happy and zen with the decision as you are and I think in time I might be able to come to that, but right now I'm not feeling very good about it at all. I think Dh might be having second thoughts, too. Ben's doctor today suggested trying an IUD for a few years instead of a vasectomy and Dh thought that would be a great idea. There is a hormone free IUD which I might be able to use {I can't do hormonal birth control at all}.

The thing is, neither of us wants me to be pregnant again. This last experience with Ben was so hard, between the HG {which gets worse with every pregnancy}, low iron, breech issues, ever rising blood pressure {and pre-eclampsia symptoms post birth}, precipitous birth and nearly a week in the NICU... I don't think we could emotionally or physically handle another pregnancy. And Dh is totally set against adopting {he has nothing against adoption, just not for our family; he grew up in foster care and refuses to involve himself with that system in any way or form}. So we know we're not having any more children, but accepting that is something we're struggling with a bit. We're taking until November, when Dh has a week vacation from work and which would be a good time to do the surgery, to think about the vasectomy.

[aestesfl]

My husband has a vasectomy scheduled in July. I am sad that I never will be pregnant again and though neither of us wants another child, a vasectomy is so final. Three children is a good number for us and now I have the girl that I always wanted. I am excited to not worry about birth control anymore because I get pregnant very easily!

[annekh23]

I've said "no more", but I still didn't feel comfortable getting a tubal. My 3rd pregnancy was actually better than I expected, other than getting severely depressed, now it's for the sake of avoiding depression that I definitely don't want anymore.

[erika978]

I'm teetering. I was more sure about this being our last baby before she was born. Although this pregnancy was tougher than I thought it would be it seems so final knowing it won't happen again. And yet most of me is very happy to move beyond this part of my life. DD1 was so long in the making and then her newborn stage was so so tough. This baby was a surprise and I was quite upset initially. But I'm so happy we had her. She is such a joy. But I know I can't risk a more serious clotting problem with a subsequent pregnancy. And I am looking forward to the journey with the girls.

So 95% certain that I'm ready for this to be final. DH is 100% but is willing to wait for 6 months before getting the snip so I can be more certain that this is the it.

[midnightmommy]

DH has is getting his referral for a vasectomy on the 28th. I kind of wouldn't mind having another baby down the road, but simply could not take another miscarriage. It's really not in our budget at all for another kid, and husband is set on only giving birth to two. If things go our way though we'll adopt.

[ktmama]

Rémy is definitely my last and I am sad, sad, sad. I can't believe it's already been five weeks since he was born. I loved being pg all three times. I loved have three wildly different, but equally wonderful homebirths. But, I am 44 and dh is almost 46. If we were younger, yes, we would move to the country and have a brood and a farm, but we are happy with our three lovelies. It does feel complete now having had a boy after two girls, but I would just love to keep having babies!

[Thistles_in_Snow]

This was our second and definitely the last. I enjoyed being pregnant (for the most part) and part of me wishes we had the time/money/energy/patience/space for a third, but we just don't. I am turning 41 in August and I think it's best that we stop now.

Husband says he's getting a vasectomy. Not sure when that's going to happen in reality. Probably a few weeks after he realizes that I'm serious about the condoms

[maxwill129]

I thought that this was it for us, but I think DH and I will have more. Silly as it sounds, we both don't feel like our family is complete yet.

[beachcomber]

I'm very happy with our choice to stop at 2. The labour for this guy was just as hard and painful as with DD. I just can't face that again. Plus, the pregnancy with him was very hard. I was run down from just about day one because DH needed me in so many ways. I can't do that again. I'm too old and don't have a strong enough constitution.

Like you, phrogger, I'm totally okay with that. I love babies and will miss DS's babyhood once it's done. But there are friends who will be having babies in the coming years and I can always snort a good whiff of that wonderful baby smell from the tops of their dear babes' heads when I need a pick-me-up.

[apparitions]

I had the easiest pregnancy in the world and we wanted two...

I hated my birth experience, hated the aftermath [how I felt emotionally] and struggled to bond with my boy.

I'm getting Mirena because this was my first pregnancy and I'm not ready to rule out the idea yet but I can't imagine going through it again. If I could be pregnant and not have to have another c-section [which i probably would, though i havent confirmed it with my caregiver yet] then I might consider it. but there are no guarantees and i dont want to go through it again!!

[Erinz]

I had a harder pregnancy this time but a much better (amazingly awesome) birth. I never want to be pregnant again and I never wanted children to begin with so I feel very fortunate to have two beautiful boys whom I love and cherish. I thought for sure I would be estatic to be done with creating new kids, but I'm finding myself a bit surprised at a strange pang of sadness when I think about not having another. I know it is out for us because I don't think my body could handle another, and two really is the right number for our family and all the things we want to do and places we want to see. I think the sadness is knowing I'm entering the next phase of life and that the childbearing years are over. Interestingly, my husband and I are both REALLY looking forward to the next phase, but I think we both have that funny little maybe? in us. I'm thinking that, biologically speaking, it must be really normal. We're on the fence about a no hormone copper IUD or a vasectomy, presently leaning towards vasectomy.

It's funny though, to simultaneously celebrate and mourn the prospect of no more new people for our family. I've really been reflecting on it lately.

[jessielove]

Originally Posted by maxwill129

I thought that this was it for us, but I think DH and I will have more. Silly as it sounds, we both don't feel like our family is complete yet.

That's how we feel, too, but my body doesn't seem to do pregnancy well. Each one has gotten worse. This time I lost 30 pounds due to HG, had consistently low iron, struggled with breech issues and was just this side of being forced into an induction due to gestational hypertension. Then there was the precipitous birth and same day transfer to the hospital and NICU for the baby due to pneumonia and post-partum pre-eclampsia symptoms for me. If the next one were to follow the same trend there would potentially be some serious health issues to contend with.

Dh and I are both still struggling with the idea of closing that door permanently though. There is every reason intellectually for one of us to under go a permanent sterilisation procedure and no good reason not to, but we still do not feel like it's the right choice. The smart decision, definitely, but it doesn't feel right. I think we're going to wind up doing an IUD instead of vasectomy. I'll be 30 in August, still very young, many years left of fertility. There are a million reasons why we should go with the vas., but I know without a doubt that we'll regret it if we do. Ben is so awesome, it's painful to think that we'll never do it again.