Jerry O'Connell on Regis & Kelly

[Love_My_Bubba]

I work so I'm not home in the mornings very often but when I am I enjoy watching Regis & Kelly. Today Regis is out and Jerry O'Connell is guest hosting. He has twins with Rebecca Romijn and Kelly asked him if the babies are breastfed.

He answered that they were BF for six months (yay!) and acted as if this were outrageous, but that he couldn't understand why his wife did it and he said to her "let's just go get some formula and make this easy!"

I just don't even get why a husband would care how easy or hard it is on his wife, when it's something she wants to do, when they are in a position where $$ in't an issue and she has the ability to be home. His non-chalance really hit me badly, it really angers me. I think I'm going to write a gently worded e-mail explaining that I understand that those were his opinions and it's a free dialogue at the beginning, but that I think it's terrible that they would allow a guest to completely disparage breastfeeding for absolutley no reason what so ever.

Am I overracting? This hit a nerve with me.

[mysticmomma]

:

[Love_My_Bubba]

Ok, here's what I wrote!

"I work so I'm not home in the mornings very often but when I am, every time I enjoy watching Regis & Kelly. This morning Kelly asked Jerry O'Connell if his babies are breastfed.

Our government is working so hard to teach new parents about the benefits of breastfeeding, it's SO important and his non-chalance really hit me badly. I understand that those were his opinions and it's a free dialogue at the beginning, but that I think it's terrible that a guest would be allowed to completely disparage breastfeeding for absolutley no reason what so ever. The fact that his wife chose to do this is great! She met the AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) and the WHO (World Health Organization) recommendations of breastfeeding for a minimum of six months, it's recommended that children be breastfed for one year and after that, as long as it is mutually desirable for mother and child.

I won't even tell you how long I breastfed my son, he's 3 now, because people react so poorly. What I can tell you is that at the age of 3 and a half he counts and speaks in Spanish with no formal instruction, his imagination is out of this world and he is just brilliant. He may just be a smart child but it may also be a benefit of breastfeeding and as a public outlet it is your responibility to ensure that good things aren't disparaged for arbitrary reasons.

Thanks so much for takng the time to read this, I'd be happy to help if you would like more information about the benefits of breastfeeding to disseminate to your audience.

Sincerely,"

[frontierpsych]

I'd probably take the stuff out about your child. It comes across as "I breastfed my son! Look how smart it made him!" which is great, but won't get you taken seriously.

Also, the AAP and WHO recommend EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding for the first six months, but the AAP recommends a MINIMUM of a year, and the WHO recommends at least 2 years.

[LeighB]

I saw him on Ellen when his kids were first born. He was uncomfortable with just the word breastfeeding. Sad.

[KimberlyD0]

I would take the part out about your son too. It looks to much like a "look what my son can do thing"

After all my first is 3.5 and fully FF (not by choice, but need) and she can also speak 2 languages (french and English because thats our main languages in Canada) count to 30, knows all her colours, her alphabet, her shapes, and can write her name as well as a few other small words, she's starting to read a few as well, she started talking at 10 months. Hasn't stopped since either :

My point being anyone can say "my kid is smarter because" after all were I a formula pusher I could spin it to look like my DD is as smart as she is because of formula. I am not though so it doesn't matter.

There are many other importent facts you could include instead. For example suggesting they show supportive partners to show that its a good thing for the entire family. There are celeb moms who's SO does support them in BF, I think it would be great to ask to hear from these moms and dads.

The idea is a really good one, but should be based on hard facts that are seperate from your own family, this way it looks less bias.

[Callimom]

I didn't see the segment but I did want to say that having breastfed twins that it is not always easy (in our case one of my kids didn't latch for 2 months). It can be hard for fathers/husbands to watch that struggle and not be able to make it better.
I have no idea if that is where he is coming from but I wanted to put it out there that there may be more than we know to the story.

[Zadee]

Having struggled with difficulty breastfeeding twins (pumped and bottles for 2.5 months until my son realized it came warm from the original tap and decided that latching wasn't so bad) I will say that my husband was reasonably supportive but if I had wavered for an INSTANT in my maniacal devotion to breastmilk he would have been all over me with the formula offers. I was exhausted to the point of illness, ended up on drugs at 6 months because my utter sleep deprivation had brought on PPD. It was HARD.

Of course, if he'd gone on TV and disparaged my BF I would have kicked him in the head.

I'm not sure what my point is. Perhaps that twins are an incredible strain and some initial discomfort on his part (after all, breasts have equaled sex to him, most likely, since about age 14; that can be a rough mental shift) plus seeing the woman he loved under a tremendous amount of strain made him see BF only as something to be endured.

[mama516/419]

[QUOTE=Zadee;14044059]

Of course, if he'd gone on TV and disparaged my BF I would have kicked him in the head.
QUOTE]
laughup
I also think that the letter was good but the part about your son may be off topic when you could use the space to put in some more info about partners being sapportive and succes rates being hire. A husband does have a lot to with it even if ( like in my case) he just gives evil eyes to ppl who give us dirty looks while NIP or refills the water glass so I dont have to get up while nursing in bed.

[sapphire_chan]

Wow, I'm really sorry for Rebecca, imagine breastfeeding twins and the only "support" you get from their father is to be told to stop and use formula.

[MommyJoia]

I saw it too. and to be quite honest, I think its awesome she was able to breastfeed for 6 months, awesome. I have a friend who has twins that are almost two. She is still breastfeeding. After multiple mastitis in one breast, she is now down to nursing both "babies" from one breast. (she had major problems with the mastitis breast I won't even get into). She was nursing all three of her kids at one point. Breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone, I wish it was, but it's not. When you have a medically managed hospital birth, it's even harder to get a good start. The reason I brought up my friend is because we talked about Jerry's interview and she said, nursing twins is hard. Really hard. it takes so much energy, and if you're not 100% committed to it, it's easy to hand off the baby with a bottle and get some rest.

We should celebrate the fact that Rebbecca was committed to nursing them for 6 months. The fact that she did breastfeed and he did talk about ti on national TV does help normalize breastfeeding. imagine all the moms out there, pregnant with twins, who saw that and thought, "well if she can do it, why can't I?"

I have heard so many people say that moms of twins can't breastfeed, I always answer, "why not, we have two breasts?"

[damselfly41]

[teale]

As much as the comment is outrageous and sad for his wife, I can't say it surprises me, coming from him

[Bookworm715]

I saw an interview where he was really pro-bfing (which surprised me, honestly). He talked about the football hold and called it beautiful.

I googled and found one quote:
"I don’t know why I’m getting nervous saying this — I’m not saying anything dirty, it’s natural but [Rebecca] does what we call the double football – which is just incredible, because it’s like three beings attached. It’s like something out of Cirque du Soleil. It’s crazy."

I dunno, I don't really ever blame people (especially guys) if they come across sounding a bit awkward about breastfeeding. I remember my husband and his friend (who also had a new baby at the time) talking about BFing and discussing it like it was a bizarre dance or something. They're both very pro-BFing but it can certainly throw even the most well-intentioned guy for a loop at first.

His suggestion to get formula is disappointing, but maybe his wife was feeling a lot of guilt about quitting and he was trying to make sure everyone knew how hard she'd worked at it.

My point is that he wasn't completely disrespectful or discouraging about bfing and if nothing else, it's great for someone who's known for being glamorous and beautiful (Rebecca Romaijn O'Connell) to be open about BFing twins is a win, no matter how small.

I'm hesitant to condemn anyone for not being 'enthusiastic enough' because I've learned that how passionately someone feels for BFing isn't necessarily reflected in all of their actions. I BFed DS for 27 months and it was HUGELY important to me but I only nursed in public twice in that whole time (covered on an airplane). The important thing is that I shared that w/ DS, and bfing is something I did for his benefit, not anyone else's.

[LaffNowCryLater]

That's sad. I bet if he supported her she could have made it longer than 6 months and now his own children are the ones who will have to deal with the life-long effects.

[KimberlyD0]

We don't know that he wasn't supportive. As a PP showed he did brag about her ability to double feed them. Because he is uncomfortable with BF doesn't mean he is unsupportive. DH wasn't comfortable with BF before we had children, but he was still a very strong support to me.

When we had to FF he was supportive, and when I managed to BF this time he has been a HUGE support, even through all the crap I put him through to do it. I suspect knowing what others have gone through to BF twins, and how hard its been to BF 1, that she was struggleing to get even to that point. My husband would also be jumping on the formula wagon (did with the first) if only because he know it helped me. His only comment to me about BF our second was, "are you sure about this? I don't want to see you end up where you were last time" It pained him as much as it did me. If she went through half the crap I did then I can't say I don't understand why he said what he said, I don't agree with him though

Its never cut and dry and BF is not easy for everyone. I know it isn't for me, never has been. Maybe in his own way he is trying to be supportive. 6 months EBF twins is HUGE we should be happy they got that. Them not having it longer doesn't mean they're doomed to be sickly, unloved, or unintelegent, heck you can't look at a group of kids objectivly and be able to tell which were BF or FF.

I agree he needs to work on his espression of it, but I don't think he's as bad as everyone seems to think he is. I think more then anything he's missguided and perhaps say only how hard it was for his wife.

Instead of focusing on the dumb things he's said lets try to celebrate the small victories, like what was said about the football hold by him, he thought that it was beautiful, BIG step, or that she made is 6 MONTHS!! thats HUGE. There are moms of singletons who don't fight to make it that far.

[LaffNowCryLater]

If my DH made comments like that, I'd certainly consider it unsupportive.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by Love_My_Bubba

He answered that they were BF for six months (yay!) and acted as if this were outrageous, but that he couldn't understand why his wife did it and he said to her "let's just go get some formula and make this easy!"

hahahahahaha!!

That would be easy! FOR HER!

She should totally do it and he can get up all night and make bottles. LMFAO.

[gingerbane]

Am I the only one who thinks that question was a bit rude? I can't beleive people ask or answer such personal questions on television.

[RasJi7]

Originally Posted by transformed

hahahahahaha!!

That would be easy! FOR HER!

She should totally do it and he can get up all night and make bottles. LMFAO.

I still can't grasp what people think is so EASY about bottles. Cleaning them alone is a part-time job- and enough for two babies?! I think that people who end up pumping and having to deal with all the bottles on top of nursing- need to get an award.

My FIL kept trying to convince me that bottles were so convenient... i still don't get it.

Just realized that my 500th post is about bf'ing- couldn't have planned it better- yay!