or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Swedish parents decide not to reveal 2-year-old's gender-Thoughts??
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Swedish parents decide not to reveal 2-year-old's gender-Thoughts?? - Page 6

post #101 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommysarah5 View Post
give me an example
Ok. I called my friend and told her the story. Her response?

"Well why wouldn't they want to tell what it is?"

And then I asked her to tell her seven year old son who said "Well it's gotta be somethin'. I think it's a boy."

As I was typing this, I thought of another. When a baby is born and the sex is a surprise, the first words are "It's a girl!" And what's "it"? The baby!
post #102 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantaja View Post
Ok. I called my friend and told her the story. Her response?

"Well why wouldn't they want to tell what it is?"

And then I asked her to tell her seven year old son who said "Well it's gotta be somethin'. I think it's a boy."

As I was typing this, I thought of another. When a baby is born and the sex is a surprise, the first words are "It's a girl!" And what's "it"? The baby!

So you told her the WHOLE story including the part where they say they child's name and your friend still wanted to call Pop an "it"? Why not just use pop's name? and in that case, I could call and say "I just had a baby" and someone could say "what is it?" so what? how is that exclusive to Pop?

"When a baby is born and the sex is a surprise, the first words are "It's a girl!" And what's "it"? The baby!"

no everyone uses that phrase. I never heard it after I had my kids. They just put the baby on my belly.

These people aren't denying their child has certain body parts, they just want to let the child decide when to share the info on what parts those are.

I am still waiting for an example where a person would HAVE to call Pop an "it" that they wouldn't have to call any other child an "it" in the same situation even if there parents weren't hiding the gender. They could just call Pop "pop" they could say "What their name" or "whats the kid's name"

just because some people want to be obnoxiously rude and call Pop and "it" doesn't mean they have to. That's their choice, could be done to ANY child in the same situations (minus the hidden gender) and is a poor reflection of that person and not the parents who are merely encouraging people to treat Pop for who they are instead of for what gender society assigns to their body parts.

Calling Pop and "it" is simply unnecessary. It's a choice one makes that they do not have to. If Pop is called "it" more then other children its because of that person's ignorance, not the short comings of Pop's parents.
post #103 of 199
Socio-political agenda: Is what these parents doing any worse than NOT vaccinating your child? Assuming Pop's parents are utterly sincere in their belief that they are doing the right thing for Pop, how is this any different from all of us MDC moms who homeschool our kids? Have homebirths? Don't have a TV? They could easily admonish the nay-sayers for cruelly revealing the sex of their babies to the public at large.

Off to read the rest.
post #104 of 199
1- We were working on the premise that the childs name wasn't known. And I doubt that her son was being intentionally rude.

2- I never said that this was exclusive to that kid

3-"It's a boy/girl" is pretty common.

4- No one is denying that the child has genitals. ETA- oops. i misread something as "denying the child certain body parts" my mistake.

5-I offered an example. Two of them.

6-I never said anything of the parents shortcomings. I said that I think that the whole idea is silly.
post #105 of 199
Why tell your kid's gender when you can make them a worldwide human social experiment? I mean...how important is a penis or vagina, really, when book deals can be made?

Way to subvert the dominant paradigm.

Nothing says child advocate more than inviting the world to speculate endlessly on your child's genitals, talking to the press about it, conducting human, non-consensual social experiments, and most likely, eventually profiting (financially) from all of it
post #106 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just My Opinion View Post
Why tell your kid's gender when you can make them a worldwide human social experiment? I mean...how important is a penis or vagina, really, when book deals can be made?

Way to subvert the dominant paradigm.

Nothing says child advocate more than inviting the world to speculate endlessly on your child's genitals, talking to the press about it, conducting human, non-consensual social experiments, and most likely, eventually profiting (financially) from all of it
Do you know for a fact they are the ones who called the paper and put their kids in the public eye?

Can you explain why not do it sooner then?

I really don't think they did this because the want book deals and what not.
post #107 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Do you know for a fact they are the ones who called the paper and put their kids in the public eye?
I know I'm not who you asked, but if they didn't want the attention, regardless of who called the paper, a simple "this is what works for our family" or even simpler "no comment" would've worked.
post #108 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantaja View Post
I know I'm not who you asked, but if they didn't want the attention, regardless of who called the paper, a simple "this is what works for our family" or even simpler "no comment" would've worked.
Not nessicarily. The paper could have still printed a story, simply stating the parents had no comment or that they said it works for our family.
post #109 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just My Opinion View Post
Why tell your kid's gender when you can make them a worldwide human social experiment? I mean...how important is a penis or vagina, really, when book deals can be made?

Way to subvert the dominant paradigm.

Nothing says child advocate more than inviting the world to speculate endlessly on your child's genitals, talking to the press about it, conducting human, non-consensual social experiments, and most likely, eventually profiting (financially) from all of it
post #110 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
I wish they could be more free to be authentically who they are without constant questioning.
post #111 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantaja View Post
As I was typing this, I thought of another. When a baby is born and the sex is a surprise, the first words are "It's a girl!" And what's "it"? The baby!
Actually, dh said "here's Lina, dear"
post #112 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommysarah5 View Post
I asked the same thing, and I'm quoting it so it will show up on this page twice so maybe someone will answer us
Because it's more important to make a fuss and thus 'prove' the point that the parents are doing it to create a fuss.
post #113 of 199
1- We were working on the premise that the childs name wasn't known. And I doubt that her son was being intentionally rude.
(but so is every other child you haven't met yet - children we don't know their names are unknwon, its not always clear if they are boy or girl - so what's different about Pop's situation is only that you know there is something different about Pop's situation - and knowing that you can't know is what bothers you - it doesn't bother you with other kids because you could ask and be told - but these people are weird because if you ask they will just say "this is pop" but then you don't have to call Pop "it" because you have a name, and if you don't walk up to the child then its the same as every other child you haven't met yet - if you dont walk up you wont know. if you do walk up you either know or get the name.)

2- I never said that this was exclusive to that kid
(so then what was your point?)

3-"It's a boy/girl" is pretty common.
(have 3 kids, never heard tis statement other then in the movies.)

4- No one is denying that the child has genitals. ETA- oops. i misread something as "denying the child certain body parts" my mistake.
(exactly)

5-I offered an example. Two of them.
(but none of them applied solely to Pop - which you admit in #2)

6-I never said anything of the parents shortcomings. I said that I think that the whole idea is silly.
(you said the parents are going to create this child to be referred to as "it" more - but really it would be no more then any other child.
post #114 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Because it's more important to make a fuss and thus 'prove' the point that the parents are doing it to create a fuss.
and isn't funny that there wouldn't be a fuss at all if people weren't so judgmental of these parents choice to let the child decide on their own? It's people's curiosity creating this. It just KILLS them that they aren't in on some kind of "secret" when to the parents it's like everything you need to know about my child you can know without knowing their genitalia.
post #115 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber View Post
btw the appropriate word is "intersexed"
Hermaphrodite is absolutely an appropriate word as well. It is the conjoining of Hermes and Aphrodite. It may not feel as politically correct as intersexed, but I disagree that it is less appropriate.
post #116 of 199
I've not read recent responses... but what keeps crossing my mind is:

Why not support realistic solutions vs. the band-aid theory? This kid WILL eventually become an adult and have to know its sex/gender. I think its a good idea to prepare kids for this.

This is whatever it is for "pop"'s parents... I won't judge them... but will say that if they are trying to bring about gender nonexistence/equality, etc. for their kid... first, it probably won't happen the way they think it will... and second, they could still do that very clearly, even if they told others the kid's sex from day 1... as many mamas have done successfully here, which I've read many times here on mdc. I don't think it takes any form of denial to help your kid know that they are gender-equal to the other gender or be unaffected by commercial gender-ized beliefs, it DOES take alot of dedication passion & some creativity & dedication. And the acceptance by the parents that we, as humans, are usually of two genders, male or female but sometimes mixed.

If there are parents who truly want the kid to live a non-gendered life... I'm not sure I even understand that enough to respond.
post #117 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by number572 View Post
I've not read recent responses... but what keeps crossing my mind is:

Why not support realistic solutions vs. the band-aid theory? This kid WILL eventually become an adult and have to know its sex/gender. I think its a good idea to prepare kids for this.
but they have talked to Pop about genitalia. It's not like the kid is in the dark, I mean by this reasoning people should let others smoke around their kids because they will eventually become an adult and have to know about smoking and should be prepared for it
post #118 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amylcd View Post
There are MANY differences between the male and female body, and very few of them are sexual organs.
I agree. Sometimes I think I'm old fashioned.. but I do think, by instinct there are certain roles each gender gravitates towards. Not all, but most.
post #119 of 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommysarah5 View Post
but they have talked to Pop about genitalia. It's not like the kid is in the dark, I mean by this reasoning people should let others smoke around their kids because they will eventually become an adult and have to know about smoking and should be prepared for it
ok, Help me see another way thru this then... b'c in my heart, I am a rebel and freedom fighter, I'd love to see this theory thru, but feel it unfair to the child at hand. He's only 2, so none of us know how Pop's parents will choose to introduce gender or when, for that matter - one of "our" line of thinking can guess that it would be somewhere within the pre-pubescent yrs. I'd guess anyway.

I guess what I'm saying is that I think alot can be taught by dealing with past societal issues during early childhood. I'm not a child psych, so I may be talking out of my ear, but something about hiding things has never sat right with me. Everyone is different tho... if this is what they want, I respect them as the parents and support them in full, even if I don't understand their thoughts yet - & I'm thankful that I'm reading such a progressive story... beats the heck out of opening a page to "parents decide that abuse is OK!!"
post #120 of 199

Plus

I think we all need to give kudos to these parents for excercising their rights in raising their kid the way they want! HUGE BEAUTIFUL STEP!!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Swedish parents decide not to reveal 2-year-old's gender-Thoughts??