but the child DOES know right now.
My children have no preference to play with other children of the same gender (my oldest is 4) They just love to play, doesn't matter with who. The child being discussed here isn't part a psychological "experiment" its the product of parents who love their child (same as those who do reveal the gender of their children) and is doing what they think is best for the child.
The reality is, the child can reveal the gender if they want to, and won't be able to do so any later then any other child would be able to express that. The only difference is, the parent isn't going to do it FOR the child. Once you do it FOR the child you can't take it back. Not revealing it for the child doesn't prevent it from ever being revealed by the child.
I don't think its too much decision power for a child to decide to say "I'm a boy" or "I'm a girl" when they decide they want someone to know if they are a boy or girl. It's not different to me then letting them choose their clothes, friends, or toys. We are not talking about the child deciding which house to buy or what town to live in or where to file their taxes.
My son walks around and some days he says he is a girl and some days he says he is boy. The other day I asked him who was the best (thinking he would say daddy since daddy was just playing with him" and he said "Girls are the best!" I don't know where he gets this from, but it's definitely not "too much decision power" for a child to decide if they want to say "hey im a girl" or "hey im a boy" or "hi, my name is ______ and my favorite thing to do is color"
and no matter what choices a parent makes people an say things like this
"see, thats what happens when you don't raise children with a firm hand."
"see, thats what happens when you raise your children with violence"
"see, thats what happens when you vaccinate a child"
"see, thats what happens when you don't vaccinate a child"
"that right there is what happens when gay people raise children"
"that right these is what happens when parents don't teach tolerance to others sexual preferences"
the comment "the child is the result of some psychological experiment" can be said about ANY child. We are all doing what we think is best for our children, Pop's parents included. it's not an experiment, its called PARENTING and doing what you believe is best for your child. No matter what you do, you cannot avoid the critical eye of society. Everyone wants to look for where the parents went wrong.
Now I ask, if they raise a wonderful child, who feels free to be anyone and do anything regardless of his or her gender, then what do you think will be said?
some people will say its because of the parents and some people will say its despite the parents.
The bottom line is, what body parts you have between your legs is personal information. They aren't sharing that personal information on someone elses behalf. They are letting their child reveal that private information when they are ready.