Big hugs and I hope that as the wheel turns you find a new balance and peace with your path.
It sounds like you have two different concerns... introducing a living faith into your child's life and resolving your own faith dilemma.
In terms of your child... maybe consider getting a book like Celebrating the Great Mother and adding in some of the less "religious" aspects of the pagan lifestyle? That would be fun for him and might provide a gentle return for you. I suggest that book instead of one of the others since the "feel" of Celebrating is more "generic earth/season based family activity" instead of being specifically pagan/wiccan/ritual focused. And it has ideas for kiddos of all ages... I know my 4yo and 2yo both enjoy the things we do!
Maybe it would feel right to play/sing things from a cd like Second Chants (a cd by Reclaiming, though there is a more child specific cd by Reclaiming that goes with their Circle Round book)? Or you could print out some of the Pookha Pages for him to color, and add "earth based" or "pagan" stories to your bedtime routines. Or simple things like adding a blessing before meals, or a morning/evening blessing, or whatever. Just something that adds another element to your daily life without being specifically "religious/ritual" oriented.
Also, DH and I have joined a Unitarian Universalist community to provide a weekly religious routine for our kiddos... we wanted to expose them to a wider faith community that was still in line with our own basic beliefs. I don't know if this sort of thing would work for you (some UU groups are very pagan friendly, others are less so. And some are not very child friendly while others are) but in a sense it relieved some of the pressure we felt as parents to have a "formal religious element" in our family routine... right now we have a balance where the pagan elements form a matter of fact basis for our daily routine with fun seasonal celebrations while the UU weekly routine provides a more formal faith community with the girls learning about a variety of faiths/practices from this wider community and the UU religious ed program.
In terms of your personal journey... that's hard, and everyone needs to find balance in their own way. I found books like Twelve Wild Swans and The Pagan Book of Living and Dying helpful in processing my emotions when people close to me passed on. I also have a cd called Music from the Spiral Dance which has songs from the samhain/memorial service held annually by Reclaiming in the Bay area. Our UU community bookshelf has another book called Remembering Well that is designed to help people create memorials and rituals of remembrance for their loved ones who have died... although I'd already moved through most of my emotional distance by the time I read that book, I found parts of it helpful and it fit well with my own philosophy. It may be helpful for you as well to check out books like this to see if perhaps you feel drawn to crafting a ritual or release as the anniversary approaches and passes.
Outside of that sort of release... maybe "just do it" so to speak? Is there a simple, non-stressful, very small "something" you could work into your day that might help you feel like you're connecting to your spiritual side? Sort of a no pressure/no stress approach instead of a "jump back into the river" approach? I've been making strands of prayer beads for each major holiday or special event in my life and then wearing these beads as a daily reminder of my faith/the energy of the season or event. But it's not "religious" as such... more of an exercise in mindfullness.
So maybe add a mindfullness item to your daily wardrobe (a bracelet, necklace, earrings, bead, key chain, worry stone, etc), or take your shower by candlelight, or add a weekly foot bath with salt and cleansing herbs, or make a set of bean runes and "plant" one each week while tending the growing plants from the weeks before, rub a soothing essential oil on your feet before putting on your shoes (to "walk in beauty"), sit outside in silence for 1 minute or 5 minutes each day and count how many things you hear or smell or see or sense.
Just something small and without baggage attached. Then maybe move to something a bit more time consuming like a dream journal or daily writing meditation page, or a daily ritual more traditional to the practice you used to have or that you want to have in the future. Perhaps just put it out to the universe that you're hoping to find balance and see who or what calls? Explore a different pagan or faith path (eat the food, listen to the music, dance the dances) and see if it feels right.
And give yourself time... you've been through a huge shift, and it's only been a year. Hang in there...
