Am I the only one super paranoid?

[Longhorn]

This is my first pregnancy and I have had two people very close to me miscarry. One at 6 weeks and the other at 7 weeks.

I have no signs of a m/c and fell fine, but I am sooooo paranoid. I was elated when I first got the BFP, but I feel like every day since I find myself stressing about the possibility that god forbid something will happen.

I am soooo upset I have to wait until my 10th week to see the baby (August 3rd). I would kill for some peace of mind!

The only thing that is giving me some peace of mind is that I read that the majority of the '10%-20%' of all miscarriages that happen to recognized pregnancies, happen in the first 3 weeks of pregnancy. So does that mean the two weeks before you ovulate and the week after you ovulate? Or does it mean the three weeks after the egg becomes fertilized? Either way I think I am out of the woods with that statistic. But the website also said that from 6-8 weeks there is a 5% (maybe it was 10%) chance of miscarriage.

I just wish I could relax!

[VegMomma]

I hear you! I went through a miscarriage in late April at 9 weeks, after two healthy, full-term pregnancies. It's unlikely to happen again, but I can't help but check the tp every time I use the washroom, and freak over every small cramp.

Just keep thinking happy thoughts.

[HippieChristianMum]

When my dd was 11 months old I got pregnant, and in the same week that I discovered I was pregnant, I lost the baby. I had spotting that started light, and never really got much darker, but never stopped. I tested after I realized it wasn't actually AF starting and had a faint positive (this was, like, a few days before expected AF). After a week of spotting, I tested again and had a negative result. The miscarriage followed that day. I got pregnant (not meaning to, but we had just moved into our new house and I lost track of fertility) 5 weeks later on my first ovulation following my miscarriage. I found out I was pregnant that time by more spotting that didn't get any heavier. I was so paranoid because it was exactly how I found out I was pregnant before and then subsequently miscarried. But, the spotting stopped, and now I have a beautiful 17 month old baby boy. I was so scared that whole pregnancy, and it was hard for me to even let myself believe that they baby was there until I heard the first heartbeat (which is quite a bit later for me because I have a midwife who only listens with a fetoscope and occasional doppler; have never had any ultrasounds), felt the first kicks, continued to feel movement. I felt bad emotionally because I didn't want the baby to think that I didn't want it to be there, I was just so scared to be optimistic.

I give my children biblical middle names that fit their pregnancy and lives (my dd's middle name is Faith because when I got pregnant with her, my dh didn't have a job lined up), and my ds's middle name is Daniel (like Daniel in the lion's den). I thought it was fitting because the whole time that there were these external negatives (the spotting, my worries about the baby, my not feeling like I was bonding with the baby in utero), God was still there taking care of the baby and growing him healthy and strong.

I don't know why I wrote all of that, but I felt like it fit. I guess from experience I know how hard it is to not have those fears. Actually, I am pregnant again and those same worries still pop up. I retook a preg test a week after my initial positive result because I wanted to make sure the wee babe was still there. I just try to not borrow trouble, and to enjoy this baby for as long as God gives it to me (whether it be weeks or months or years and years).

I don't know if any of that will help, but I hope at least some of the rambling does.

[catchthewind]

I was super paranoid with my first. I had so much CM that I often felt like my period must be coming, but then I would check and it wouldn't. I did spot (very lightly) a few times, and it freaked me out.

I feel much more relaxed this time. I'm not sure what's different. I think partly because I had a more "normal" cycle (I used to ovulate quite late, and I've heard that can contribute to less strong eggs and therefore more miscarriages, but this pregnancy I ovulated on day 15), and also because I tested positive a lot earlier, so I feel like it had a better chance to implant. Or maybe it's just because I've done it before and I know that despite few symptoms and feeling like a gush of fluid is coming, it's not my period.

Also, I think part of it is that I feel like if something were to happen this early, it would be hard and disappointing, but worrying about something won't prevent it. I believe that positive thinking can be powerful, so I think that relaxing and being optimistic is better and less stressful for me. Obviously, it's easier said than done, and I still do find myself wondering "what if" sometimes. In my experience from last time, once I heard the heart beat, and then especially once I started feeling movement, it was a lot easier to just relax and enjoy being pregnant.

[1babysmom]

I don't really get paranoid anymore...just kinda "numb". Excited and happy, but numb nonetheless. Until I can see my belly growing, feel my baby moving (and even then nothing is for sure...I have numerous friends who've had late losses and/or stillbirths)...I just hope to make it through each day and honestly am kinda surprised when I do. LOL My last pregnancy was really a turning point for me in this aspect, as I just really learned to place my trust in God, and it really just comforted me. This time is similar, except I feel almost more nervous because this is the first time we haven't tried for a year and a half for a baby (this time was "effortless", I guess) and I almost feel like SOMETHING has to go wrong. But...I know that every minute I get with this baby is a blessing. If I do lose this baby, I'll know where s/he will be waiting for me, and I know God will get me through it, once again.

[mamacatsbaby]

I was extremely laid back with DS, my first. This time though, I don't know what my problem is. I'm not super, super paranoid but I am having more anxiety and such. I think I'm starting to calm down though. We'll see...

[BelovedK]

I am also super paranoid, I can hardly bring myself to read about m/c at all I was laid back with DD and DS's pregnancies... I need to make a DRs appt to get my beta checked to at least see if it is in the normal range. My midwife doesn't start seeing you until you begin the 2dn trimester, though I will see myNP before then.

[skeeter30]

Hey ladies! I am paranoid too! I think it might be normal to feel this way though. I did feel this way at the beginning of my first pregnancy. I think it's really hard b/c all of us newly pregnant mamas have to wait to see something on a sono or hear a heart beat. At times it could almost drive you insane all the stuff you could worry yourself over. I have tried to remain calm but, it is hard. I just figure that God gave me this baby right now...I need to trust that everything will be fine and I just hope that it will!

Beloved I would say your betas are most likely fine by looking at how your HPT have progressed. I did have my beta done at 3wks 4days and it was 125 and I think you are right close to me for a due date. Your tests look just as dark as mine do. I will have to run and get my camera so I can post a pic for you. Give me a few!

[skeeter30]

here are mine....I don't know if there is much of a progression but, the last few are pretty dark
http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/v...tests170-1.jpg

[helianthus]

You're not the only one who's super paranoid. My husband came down with a case of shingles this week (at age 31!!) and I went straight to the doc. Even though I'm pretty sure I had chicken pox, I asked them to do an antibody test just to make sure. And since we have relatives who have fifth disease right now, I asked them to do that one as well. In the meantime, we're avoiding all family functions. Feels a little paranoid to me, but better safe than sorry.

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by skeeter30

here are mine....I don't know if there is much of a progression but, the last few are pretty dark
http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/v...tests170-1.jpg

I found the FRER to be darker and easier to read than the $ store tests, those are some pretty strong BFPs :

[zonapellucida]

Nope after 5 m/c I am on pins and needles

[skeeter30]

Beloved Thanks I just thought that might give you a little piece of mind that your betas are probably ok since we are one day apart for due dates and our tests look pretty darn close.

Every time I go to the potty I check when I wipe too!!

[Geigerin]

I'm in the nervous camp, but trying to remain positive. Some days, my symptoms are almost non-existant (like today). Other days, I'm miserable. Those days I'm happy because I feel pregnant.

It doesn't help that when we told MIL, her first reaction was "First pregnancies often end in m/c, so don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out." We told SIL yesterday and her first reaction was to tell DH about the trouble she had with her first pregnancy and subsequent m/c. DH was not amused, thankfully, and told both of them we were not going to focus on that kind of thinking.

Actually, I really believe this baby is a gift and all will be okay no matter what. I have a real sense of peace about the whole thing, and that's one of the reasons we shared with friends and family already (they all new we were TTC, so we couldn't lie when they asked how it was going...).

[BelovedK]

Ugh : don't listen to them :

I would say as little as possible to anyone who is negative like that. They may not mean ill, but ...come on! :

[Geigerin]

Thanks. You're right, they don't mean any harm. We didn't expect that response and will definitely be keeping the rest of our plans pretty quiet (homebirth, etc.).

[BelovedK]

okay, I am going to sound super paranoid, but is 4w4d too early to have mega m/s and other symptoms?

DH says he thinks it is too early, I am a worrier. I can't remember how long it took with my first 2.

[HippieChristianMum]

Originally Posted by Geigerin

It doesn't help that when we told MIL, her first reaction was "First pregnancies often end in m/c, so don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out." We told SIL yesterday and her first reaction was to tell DH about the trouble she had with her first pregnancy and subsequent m/c. DH was not amused, thankfully, and told both of them we were not going to focus on that kind of thinking.

Sorry, but that's a load of crap. I don't think there is any evidence at all to back that up. My first pregnancy went just fine. Good for your husband to stick up for the integrity of your pregnancy.

[skeeter30]

Geigerin I agree with everyone else! That isn't very nice! You need people who are going to keep it positive for you. I know it's hard and I need to take my own advise but, try to remain calm. My first pregnancy went just fine too so I don't think your MIL knows what she is talking about.

Beloved I don't think it is too early for these symptoms but, that is just me. I think I remember feeling that way right away with my DS.

AFM, I am freaking out today. I have been so paranoid that every time I go to the bathroom I am checking for spotting. This morning at around 4am when I went, I thought I saw a little pink but, I think it might have been an irritation from my habitual checking. So, anyway, I haven't checked my cervix since my BFP (I am too afraid to) but, this morning I thought I would, just to see where that pink was coming from. So I checked and it looked like everything was fine up inside but that wasn't enough, I had to check one more time to be sure (paranoia!) When I did though, I scraped myself and started to bleed, bright red! I was so scared! I went on the internet to find some info and it seems I am not the only one who has done this. So...I calmed myself down b/c I know I caused the bleeding and I went back to bed. When I woke up, the color of the blood changed to a little more brown and less of it but, I am still scared! Should I be? Should I call my midwife? I think I am going to drive her nuts. I hate to keep calling there (not that I have) but, I think you guys KWIM. I don't have my real appointment until July 22nd. I don't know if I can make it that long though! I need some reassurance bad!!! What would you guys do??? I don't really remember being this scared with DS! I am so afraid something is going to happen. I never spotted with DS though and I was only 22 when I was pregnant for him. Now I have read so much crap and I know too much! UGH!

[cocoanib]

I didn't think that I was super paranoid, but maybe I am.
Only "real symptoms" I have is big sore boobs. Other than that, nothing definite.
I do keep having that gonna get my period feeling though. Like pressure in my lower abdomen.
That's kinda scary to me. Anybody else?