Am I the only one super paranoid? - Page 2

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by skeeter30

Geigerin I agree with everyone else! That isn't very nice! You need people who are going to keep it positive for you. I know it's hard and I need to take my own advise but, try to remain calm. My first pregnancy went just fine too so I don't think your MIL knows what she is talking about.

Beloved I don't think it is too early for these symptoms but, that is just me. I think I remember feeling that way right away with my DS.

AFM, I am freaking out today. I have been so paranoid that every time I go to the bathroom I am checking for spotting. This morning at around 4am when I went, I thought I saw a little pink but, I think it might have been an irritation from my habitual checking. So, anyway, I haven't checked my cervix since my BFP (I am too afraid to) but, this morning I thought I would, just to see where that pink was coming from. So I checked and it looked like everything was fine up inside but that wasn't enough, I had to check one more time to be sure (paranoia!) When I did though, I scraped myself and started to bleed, bright red! I was so scared! I went on the internet to find some info and it seems I am not the only one who has done this. So...I calmed myself down b/c I know I caused the bleeding and I went back to bed. When I woke up, the color of the blood changed to a little more brown and less of it but, I am still scared! Should I be? Should I call my midwife? I think I am going to drive her nuts. I hate to keep calling there (not that I have) but, I think you guys KWIM. I don't have my real appointment until July 22nd. I don't know if I can make it that long though! I need some reassurance bad!!! What would you guys do??? I don't really remember being this scared with DS! I am so afraid something is going to happen. I never spotted with DS though and I was only 22 when I was pregnant for him. Now I have read so much crap and I know too much! UGH!

Skeeter, I'm feelin' you I would feel the exact same way, and looking at it as an outsider I can say that it sounds like no big deal, but if I were in your shoes I would be freaking. You know you caused the bleeding though, so I can't say not to worry (because of my own excessive worry)

[cocoanib]

Originally Posted by skeeter30

AFM, I am freaking out today. I have been so paranoid that every time I go to the bathroom I am checking for spotting. This morning at around 4am when I went, I thought I saw a little pink but, I think it might have been an irritation from my habitual checking. So, anyway, I haven't checked my cervix since my BFP (I am too afraid to) but, this morning I thought I would, just to see where that pink was coming from. So I checked and it looked like everything was fine up inside but that wasn't enough, I had to check one more time to be sure (paranoia!) When I did though, I scraped myself and started to bleed, bright red! I was so scared! I went on the internet to find some info and it seems I am not the only one who has done this. So...I calmed myself down b/c I know I caused the bleeding and I went back to bed. When I woke up, the color of the blood changed to a little more brown and less of it but, I am still scared! Should I be? Should I call my midwife? I think I am going to drive her nuts. I hate to keep calling there (not that I have) but, I think you guys KWIM. I don't have my real appointment until July 22nd. I don't know if I can make it that long though! I need some reassurance bad!!! What would you guys do??? I don't really remember being this scared with DS! I am so afraid something is going to happen. I never spotted with DS though and I was only 22 when I was pregnant for him. Now I have read so much crap and I know too much! UGH!

I know what you mean. I have a yeast infection and wiping irritates me. I've been using water to rinse at home, but this morning at work, I saw a tiny bit of blood. Not a good site. I just went again and saw another tiny bit. It's red. I don't think it's coming from inside though. I think its just irritation.
Now, I'm going to be checking every darn time I go to pee, which for me is about every hour!
Maybe, I should step away from the forum for a few days and not think about being pregnant. I think I'm starting to worry too much. Stress can't be good. I think I'll just focus on other things until my appt next week and try not to think pregnant thoughts.

[moonrae]

i feel the same way all the time--its pretty normal i think

[skeeter30]

Thanks for some replies Beloved and cocoanib. I so appreciate that I am not the only one worrying. I just wanted to update that the spotting is gone so I feel a lot better now. I do know I caused it so...I trimmed my nails down just in case I want to check some other time. i have medium length nails...not a good combination and I have totally learned my lesson. I think I am going to start trying to just wipe and not examine myself every time I pee...lol!! We will see if I can manage that but, I'm not sure since I am so paranoid. Gosh and we thought that TTC was hard!

[skeeter30]

I just went to the bathroom and had a little more spotting. When i check my cervix though there is only the teeniest tiny amount of light, light pink. I am so hating this right now. I am constantly freaking out. I got out my book, What to expect when you are expecting." It said that some spotting in the first tri is perfectly normal especially when it's not accompanied by cramping. It says not to worry but, how do you not? How do you convince your self that your baby is fine, that everything is ok. This is so darn hard. I hate being scared. I think I am going to call my midwife tomorrow. I think I need to be seen earlier than 2 weeks from now. I will be absolutely crazy by then. I really hope she will see me. I want my progesterone tested and IDK what else but, all this spotting is not helping me to remain calm and I don't want stress to become a factor too. My sister had two M/C but, both of hers were much later in the pregnancy. I think that smoking may have been a factor. She had already had 4 healthy children too. Also, they thought that something was wrong with the second baby. Like the placenta was growing around the umbilical cord and it deprived the baby of nutrients or something. I just don't understand why this keeps happening! I know it could still be from where I scraped myself but...I just want to stop spotting so I can relax! I am sorry I keep going on like this but, I have to vent somewhere. I am worried to tell my family b/c I don't want them to worry.

[lucy_v]

skeeter, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know I'd be going crazy too. Try to relax and take some deep breaths if you're getting too upset. I keep reminding myself that spotting isn't necessarily a bad sign in case I do have any (and I check every time, almost as if i'm expecting it.. ). I've read on here countless stories of women who had spotting with their now-healthy children.

[BelovedK]

Skeeter it is so hard in this first trimester, it really sounds like nothing, I know I'd be worried sick too. I'm thinking for you.

[catchthewind]

Skeeter. I had occasional very light pink spotting in the first trimester last time. My midwife said it's likely because your cervix is filling up with blood and much more sensitive than normal. If you're worried though, you could always call her and get a beta drawn. It could put your mind at ease and help you go back to enjoying being pregnant.

[stone mnt mama]

It is hard to trust that it will all be okay some moments...
I am a habitual tp checker too, and I wish I wasn't. This time of pregnancy is such a mystery. Without hearing a heartbeat or feeling a movement inside you yet, you have to believe in and hope for something that is so unknown and is practically microscopic. It is so small, and yet it takes over~ you know?

I keep praying that my body will welcome and nourish this newcomer. That my baby is happy and healthy. It can be hard to be patient with all the unknowns though...

[Lauren31]

Skeeter No words of advice, but I can definitely understand your frustration with not knowing what is happening inside your body! Can you try to call your doctor and just tell her what you are feeling? Maybe she will run the blood tests and progesterone levels like you want.

[brightskye]

oh damn it

I guess things aren't looking too good for this pregnancy. I've been spotting for the past 4 days, and although it's still in the category of spotting not flowing, today's is dark red... not brown or pink... and it seems to be heavier.

I just now phoned the midwife I had last time and she was useless. She said to not do any more tests for a week and then do one and see, and if it's still positive then she'll book me in for bloodwork!! How totally useless is that?! It's too early for a scan, I know that, but a beta check done say today and Thursday would let me know if the numbers are climbing or what, but I guess they don't do that here????

My hpts are still positive. There is no way in hell I can wait a week before taking another one. I've got a bulk pack of 50 tests in the next room, and they're cheap.

My temp yesterday took a big dip, so that's another very bad sign, but then today's is up somewhat. I hate this not knowing, and jerking my poor dh along between happy and sad as well.


http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/26723e

[mamacatsbaby]

Originally Posted by skeeter30

Now I have read so much crap and I know too much! UGH!

Knowledge is power but can be a double-edged sword no? Hope you're feeling a little better today.

I hope things take a more positive turn for you as well brighskye .

[skeeter30]

Thank you to everyone who replied to me. I am feeling a little better today as now the spotting is gone again. I think I am going to try to be patient and wait out the day. If I see spotting again though, I am going to call my midwife. I am sure she will let me come in for a beta and progesterone check. I am just on the edge of my seat and I really hate feeling that way. I am basically scared shitless to do anything, like carry my laundry, clean my house the way I always do or go for walks and stuff and I used to be pretty active but, now...IDK! I guess I might just be overcompensating for all my thoughts and I know none of those things are going to cause a M/C...it's just I am thinking I should just rest and take it easy just in case. Even if I am not spotting I guess maybe I should just call to my midwifes office just to talk to the nurse at least to get some piece of mind. Again though, thank you guys for being here and helping me to feel better!! I really appreciate that.

brightskye i really do know how you are feeling and I am sorry this is happening to you too! I am thinking that what you are having could be implantation bleeding. It is normal and can be red sometimes. Some people even get like a shorter lighter AF type of thing. I know it is hard to think that way or even relax. It is a good sign that your temp is back up though but, I would tell you stop temping b/c that can scare you even more and our temps fluctuate no matter what so...why add to the stress. That is why I stopped. Your midwife doesn't sound all that helpful! As soon as I told mine I was spotting the first time she had me come in for a beta. I am just so so sorry! That must be in itself super stressful feeling like no one is doing anything to help you. I really hope things turn around for you and your little bean sticks! :::

[brightskye]

Skeeter, I agree, give your midwife a call (and may she be of more use than mine!)... getting some peace of mind is so valuable. These early days are stressful... later on you can have the constant reassurance of baby's movements, but now it's so hard, especially if your body is giving you scary signals. I totally hear you on being afraid to do anything!!! I'm the very same, afraid to strain in any way. I've got a cold and keep coughing and coughing and I'm worrying that that could be the strain that's causing the bleeding... argh!

I pray we can both stay in here with safe and quiet pregnancies, and that all this adrenaline will stop soon.

[gcgirl]

I'm not really paranoid, but a little more conservative this time. I got pregnant at 13 months after DS was born, and around 6/7 weeks I lost it. That's early enough that I could deal with it; if I hadn't had a *feeling* and taken a test I would never have known I was pregnant. But I'll hold off on telling people this time, just to be sure. I personally don't mind telling the world right now, but DH is uncomfortable with it, and I respect that.

ETA: Just read your post #31: I hope your midwife has good news! I'll be thinking of you.

[Charmie981]

Brightskye, can you get someone to run a beta and progesterone check? The dips in your chart are a sign of progesterone defeciency, which supplementation can help.

I'm in the "super paranoid" camp, for sure. My beta on Thursday after my + test was only 12, my progesterone only 5 (it should be 20 to maintain a pregnancy). I'm counting down the minutes until the doc's office opens back up after lunch so I can see what my second beta was, but after a blighted ovum and about a million chemical pregnancies, I just have a hard time being hopeful. I'm not sure I'll even think of myself as pregnant until I see a little heartbeat. I was just thinking about this and wondering how in the world I even made it through the first two pregnancies w/o any betas or progesterone supplements or anything. Crazy.

I've had some pinkish tan spotting, too. After sex one night there was what I would describe as pink tinged CM and I told DH he was cut off until we know where this is going. And on Sunday afternoon there was some pink spotting, too. It's so light that I have to hold it up to the light to even see that it's there though. I spotted a couple of times in my pregnancy with my youngest, though, and he's very much here, so I'm not discounting that entirely.

I've been having some pretty serious cramping today, but I'm trying to take that as a good sign...baby burrowing deep down in there, ya know?

[Longhorn]

I'm feeling a little bit better and less anxious about things.

I've read in a few sources that you have a 10% rish of m/c from week 4-6, and a 5% from week 6-10. So thankfully I'm in the second half of my 6th week so I feel like the odds are very slim, which is putting my mind at ease for sure.

[Charmie981]

Still waiting on the call from the doc for my beta. I've left two messages, but the doc is on my FB so I'm considering messaging her tonight if I don't get a call from the nurse this evening . I think her staff isn't as good as she is, which is so frustrating .