Feeling like a failure - bread and raw milk

[mysonshine]

I'm starting to feel like I've failed.

We started raw milk in March. It was great! We were having trouble getting our 2 gallons to last the week. But over the course of the last few months we've come to this - not even breaking in to the 2nd gallon until the day before our pickup of the next 2 gallons. The boys rarely drink milk anymore. I'm lucky to drink a 1/2 glass. And we used to LOVE milk.
I think we're starting to not like it anymore - tastewise. I used it to make a dessert the other day and it was awful (to me). Tasted nothing like it used to. I could barely finish the piece I had. And I used to have to stop myself from eating more.
I *know* raw milk is better for us but if we're not drinking it / using it like we were, is it worth it to keep getting it? I don't know how many portions of gallons (not even enough to fill a tall glass) I have dumped. We don't use it to make anything else so for us, it just gets dumped.
Our specific situation with getting the milk is - DH barters time worked on the farm for the milk. We couldn't straight out afford it. I know he would love to not have to go up there after work to work some more.

I just want to cry because what I "know" is good for us and what I "feel" like drinking are 2 different things right now.


Then ---
I was making homemade bread (by hand, no machine) a few times a week. It's now been weeks since I've made a loaf. Some of that time was due to the heat outside and our AC not working inside. But now I don't have to motivation to start again. Maybe it's just that's it's summer.
I've found a brand of bread we like, no really bad ingredients. Just a little expensive - and much more than making my own.

So between those 2 things, I'm really starting to feel I am letting my family down in the kitchen.

I feel like I have to ask permission if it's ok to go back to store bought bread and milk.

[lil_earthmomma]

You are not a failure. Buy the bread! You will either get over your baking slump, or you won't. No biggie.

As for the milk, if no one is drinking it, then if I was your dh, I would be hurt that I was working over time to bring this milk home and it's getting dumped.

Give your dh a break, and go back to store bought milk for a while. See how things go. It's not worth it if no one likes it or will drink it.

[avendesora]

The milk definitely changes in the summer. The taste of milk from grassfed cows varies based on what kind of grass the cows are eating. In March, the cows may have been finishing up the last bit of last years hay, but by now, they should be on grass full time. Winter milk tastes richer than summer milk, in my experience. But, I can believe that summer milk might be better for us. What about a little chocolate syrup? Talk to the farmer about what the cows have been eating, and see if he/she has any insights for you about what to expect from the milk. Maybe you can pick back up again in the fall?

Aven

[Kristin0105]

Yes, summer milk has greater butterfat and vitamin a. Personally, I don't care for high butterfat milk. I can tell a difference depending on the farm because of the different breeds of cows.