Well, I finally called the dr

[vermonter]

I feel like I have been heading down a slippery slope which I can't seem to find any purchase, kwim? It has been almost 22 months since my dd was born and with each progressing day I have been feeling more down. I am to a point where I am finding no joy in my dd, marriage, friends, excersise, outdoors, oh I could go on with my list. Basically I feel empty. So, here is my question, I am still breastfeeding and have read that most antidepressants are ok to take. Are they? Also, I have heard really good things about lexepro for women. What are others experiences? I just don't know where to turn. I feel that if I don't go see someone I will lose everythign that I worked so hard to get (ie. my dh who I love dearly). Also, I have tried the therapist, chinese herbal route, acupuncture, excersise, etc routes. Just were not helping. Well, thanks for listening. I think I just needed a place to process my thoughts.

[Penguintrax]

I am on Lexapro, as are several others. If you do a search in this forum, you'll find much information about it.

Anywho - I had a few side affects in the first couple of weeks I was on it, but they faded quickly and I"ve been doing well ever since. I've been on Lexapro since late July.

[EllasMama]

Vermonter, I'm sorry you're sliding down the slippery slope! I have been there and know it's no fun. I didn't even realize quite how bad things had gotten till I started taking Lexapro. After a couple weeks I felt pretty much like my old self again (not *exactly* like my old self b/c my old self didn't have a 2.5 year old hanging off her neck, LOL!).

I was in therapy for 9 months and on herbals and tons of vitamins for about a year before starting Lexapro. I was so determined not to take a prescription antidepressant, thinking that would be some sort of failure on my part. I kept hoping the therapy and alternative stuff would work, but it didn't.

Hindsight's 20/20, and I don't REGRET my choices - I know I had the very best of intentions - but knowing what I know now, I realize that I lost a lot of precious time with my daughter that could have been happier. I was miserable and didn't enjoy anything, which is a huge burden to carry through motherhood. In a perfect world, one wouldn't have to choose whether to take an antidepressant when pregnant or breastfeeding, because we'd all be glowing and gleeful and well-rested. But here in the real world of mothering where so many suffer from depression, the advantage of having a healthy and happy mommy often more than outweighs the possible negative side effects of the safer antidepressants.

Another thing is, if you're worried about side effects from the meds, there is no law that says you HAVE to breastfeed your child. I don't throw that out lightly - I am a HUGE believer in breastfeeding and LLL. My depression made breastfeeding my daughter excruciating. I had wanted to breastfeed her till she was ready to quit, but starting at about 18 months breastfeeding was just hell. I kept it up till DD was 28 months, loathing every second and in mental and physical pain. I finally realized that all the animosity and negative energy I sent her over breastfeeding couldn't possibly be outshined by the benefits of breastmilk. I didn't want to make some emotional scar on her to where she'd grow up thinking breastfeeding was this horrid thing to grit one's teeth and endure. I'm not saying you're in anything like that situation - hopefully breastfeeding is a relaxing respite in your hectic days. It's just that no one ever told me, "you can choose to stop breastfeeding before your child chooses to wean, and you will still be a good mom." Now that I've accepted that it was the right choice for me, I feel confident enough to pass that message along to others without feeling the shame of being thought of an "AP failure."

Best wishes to you,

Carol

[Jish]

When I was put on an SSRI it was during a six day hospital stay (I was in bad shape by that time) and it was in combination with Ativan which is pretty much a no no while nursing. My two year old at the time was fine without nursing while I was in the hospital and I really needed to get my health back on track so we considered that his weaning. At the time I didn't know that I would rarely need the Ativan, and that drug with breastfeeding did scare me (it is an anti-anxiety med.) Had I just been on an SSRI (like Lexapro) I wouldn't have quit.

Most of the moms on this forum either are breastfeeding or have breastfed while on meds. If you look through some past threads you can find some information about university studies done on SSRI's and breastfeeding. I know several people who have participated at the U of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics and although the medication shows up in trace amounts in breastmilk, it is basically undetectible in the baby's blood. If I remember correctly, Gilnikche, the other mod, was also in a study and had the same results.

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant and have my meds in the cabinet ready to start taking if I crash anytime before or after the birth. IMHO, there is enough information out there now to make me comfortable with that decision. I have enough questions about what is in formula to not worry about a tiny bit of medication in my system. Heaven knows what they feed the cows or inject them with before they make the formula. Blech.

I'm glad that you are getting help, and I hope that you feel much better soon.