Hugs to you, mama. We've been living with Type II here for a little over 2 years, and I've gotten into a pattern of living with DH's health.
I don't have a fav. cookbook, although I do own Defeating Diabetes, which looks really good. (It's mostly vegetarian.) The recipes I select to cook, I try to make them based on good amounts of vegetables and whole grains, without his "triggers". For instance, we find that his blood sugar shoots up when he has corn on the cob or watermelon, white rice, or an ethnic food which is heavy on the sugar, like Thai food.
The diabetic cooking magazines I looked at when he was first diagnosed were mostly about the same kind of cooking I already do. His menu is as follows: cooked greens and eggs for breakfast, a big salad for lunch, homebaked banana or zucchini bread, or leftover pizza for snacks, and dinners is whatever healthy foods the family is having. At this point, he's sick of salads, but knows it's really what keeps him healthy. He's pretty easy on not needing variety.
What I try to control is the level of processing in his foods. I have begun to bake our own whole wheat bread, make my own jams (fruit cooked down without sugar or pectin would really be considered a "butter" I guess), and all around I try to get each food from the most whole source I can, and then prepare it. He still has a weakness for diet sodas, but he's not eaten ice cream since his diagnosis (and he used to have 2 pints a week!) His current weakness is guacamole and chips (he goes through about three 1 pound bags of tortilla chips a week), but the guy has to live a little, huh.
I wish you and your family the best as you adapt to this, and learn about his blood sugar spikes and food needs.
