7/6-7/12 - Page 4

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

It's nice to feel like "me" once in a while. I don't think DH really understands what I give up for our children.

I agree! I really have been feeling like DH isn't pulling his weight and its causing a lot of anger between us. Last night DH asked "are you happy being home with them" and I was sort of at a loss for how to answer. I told him that I AM happy to be with our kids, but that I am really struggling with all the rest of it, the constant work, the lack of any break or "me" time (like, not even 15 minutes a day.... on Tuesday I was trying to go to a yoga class and the kids just both threw total fits and so all I "got" to do was go to the grocery store... with the baby...)

Anyway, I *know* that Phoebe will be growing up and this super intense infant stage is short. But its hard, and it was w/ DS too. If I ever have more kids I am really going to save up to hire a lot more help during the first 3 months or so. And actually taking a couple months of complete leave has been the best thing, I didn't do it w/ DS and it was so hard on me (I was a full-time student and he was only w/ a babysitter about 10 hours a week, w/ DH some, and I worked at night a lot while he slept. But still.)

Here is what I decided, and it makes me feel much better. I am going to fill out my FAFSA and apply for student aid. I'll take the maximum federally subsidized ones that I get offered. Next fall, whenever the loans come through, I am going to hire someone to clean my house, and maybe a nighttime babysitter once a month or so for DH and I to go out together as grownups. And DH has promised that I will get to go to a yoga or dance class at least once a week. And I'll be teaching once a week, and starting my fieldwork. So, my life will be really different, and really challenging in different ways. BUSY. But I hope to be able to just "be mom" 4 afternoons a week and one weekend day, and to only have baby in childcare 2 mornings a week plus the afternoon while I teach, and take her to work with me other mornings if needed. DS will be at school 5 mornings until 1, and I'll be going down to my research site one weekend day while DH has the kids. So it will be a juggling act, but I hope we can make this work.

And speaking of possibly having more kids... for you academics out there, check this article out: "Is Having More Than 2 Children an Unspoken Taboo?" available online from the Chronicle of Higher Education
http://chronicle.com/temp/email2.php...gqczyyyMHbvrcp

[Peony]

Only have a few minutes. Sorry about the job loss.

Originally Posted by MelW

I have extra Peony admiration today, since I took the girls to the swimming pool. I had my sister there to help, but don't think I could have done it alone. Nora loved the water, and stayed in until she was purple and shivering and I'm sure would have stayed longer if I let her. She was also a big hit with everyone there and was a big flirty smiler the whole time.

I ordered an amber teething necklace on Etsy last week, and am impatiently waiting for it to arrive. I was bitten for the first time today- she's gummed me before, but this was the first time I felt both of her new sharp teeth

LOL. The pool for whatever reason is actually easier for me to go to with all 3 kids by myself then the park. Ok, I take that back. Not until I get my stitches out anyway! I took them all the pool on Tuesday and it was HARD since I couldn't get my foot wet.

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Fingers crossed mamas!!!

Sophia is an add-on for surgery tomorrow to place the feeding tube. If all goes well, she should be home in a week!!!!
Im delirious with excitement but Im trying to keep it under control, I dont want to get my hopes up, we know how that plays out.

Im not trying to depress anyone, just vent a little here...

Im pretty much at the end of my rope with her being in the NICU. Today was the first day I actually asked the doc to take her home. A nurse in the other room said to me later "Lindsay, you know better." and I do. The social worker came in and said "I heard you told the docs you want to leave. Youre finally to that point, huh? Means youre just about to leave!" I guess a lot of parents are like me. When the kid is doing better, you just want OUT. Medically, she is fine so I just sit with her and play all day, waiting. UGH:

We set up her crib yesterday and I cried for a long time, its hard to have baby stuff but no baby. Then I went to see her and the 2 other people in her room brought in the carseats to take their babes home and I literally exploded in tears!! I know her time is coming but Im so tightly wound right now, I cant keep my emotions under control!

Now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, Im SCARED of bringing her home. The g-tube is a BIG responsibility and she is on 14 different meds. (that are to be taken at different times throughout the day) DH said that either way we get her (meds or no) its a huge responsibility and scary. Good thing Ive been getting a lot of sleep cause its going to be rough for a while! The nurses have been teaching me and quizzing me and making me do all the work so Im really prepared to take her home. I even helped draw blood the other day!

Getting close, and you can do this! the g tube will be a huge learning curve but you will get the hang of it. I can't wait for the time to come when she is at home with you.



This week has been crazy, I've been limping all over town doing 50 billion things. I should get my stitches in my foot out this weekend which I am hoping will help some of the sleeping problem. My foot tingles and itches at night and I can't sleep. And my AND DD1's insomnia has returned in full force this week. I am so tired. Her therapist is out of town this week, of course. We have to get her insomnia under control, I don't know how she can go to 1st grade next month is she isn't sleeping.


I had to make my first call to poison control last night for DD2. She painted her all the way from her clitoris to her anus with finger nail polish. Coated the area. Yeah, that was interesting.



I met this nice mom yesterday, she has one child DD2's age. She looked at me, told me I looked exhausted and asked if having 3 kids was really that bad. LOL, sometimes it is the strangers that will tell you the truth.

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

I know we've talked about this before...but those who are doing delayed/selective vaxes where are you getting your info from or did you make up your own schedule? I still havn't decided what I'm doing....

Dr Sears's Vaccine Book has a ton of information about each vax, including brands and ingredients for the various brands. I like it because it's very balanced. We're using the selective/delayed schedule in there and will be customizing it by adding in some vaccines that aren't included in his schedule later on. For example, his schedule doesn't have the polio vax at all, which is personally important to me because my grandmother was crippled by polio almost 60 years ago and that had a huge impact on my family. We'll be adding that one in when River is older, after she's done with all the vaxes for diseases she's more likely to be exposed to.

Lindsay, I'm glad you're making progress toward getting Sophia home, and I can really see why that would also be scary. You will find whatever inner resources you need in order to take care of her. You're one tough mama, and you will be able to do whatever you need to do to take care of your daughter.

Originally Posted by emmaegbert

Here is what I decided, and it makes me feel much better. I am going to fill out my FAFSA and apply for student aid. I'll take the maximum federally subsidized ones that I get offered. Next fall, whenever the loans come through, I am going to hire someone to clean my house, and maybe a nighttime babysitter once a month or so for DH and I to go out together as grownups. And DH has promised that I will get to go to a yoga or dance class at least once a week. And I'll be teaching once a week, and starting my fieldwork. So, my life will be really different, and really challenging in different ways. BUSY. But I hope to be able to just "be mom" 4 afternoons a week and one weekend day, and to only have baby in childcare 2 mornings a week plus the afternoon while I teach, and take her to work with me other mornings if needed. DS will be at school 5 mornings until 1, and I'll be going down to my research site one weekend day while DH has the kids. So it will be a juggling act, but I hope we can make this work.

And speaking of possibly having more kids... for you academics out there, check this article out: "Is Having More Than 2 Children an Unspoken Taboo?" available online from the Chronicle of Higher Education
http://chronicle.com/temp/email2.php...gqczyyyMHbvrcp

Your plan sounds reasonable and workable. I'm glad you'll be able to get some hired help. And thanks for posting that link. I really needed a reminder this morning that dropping out of grad school was a really good idea for me. If I hadn't, DH and I probably wouldn't have jobs in the same place, and I certainly wouldn't have a baby. So yay for dropping out! :

Oh and I forget who was asking the other day about babies peeing at night, but River now will often go for the first 5 or so hours of the night without peeing. It freaked me out at first, but it makes me feel better that she's not the only baby whose nighttime habits are changing.

Can I ask, how much are y'all sleeping? I go to bed with River at around 9 or 10 (she will not sleep longer than 15 minutes in a room by herself) and stay in bed about 12 hours, waking up of course to feed and change the kiddo. The problem is, when I get up in the morning, I still feel like I would like to sleep some more! On the one hand, it's amazing that I have a three-month-old and don't feel sleep deprived all the time. On the other hand, I'm getting worried that I might be sleeping too much and it might be related to my feelings of depression lately. But then, I'm the kind of person who normally loves to get around 10 hours, and I don't think I'm getting that much more actual sleep than that, even though I'm in bed longer.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by Peony

I had to make my first call to poison control last night for DD2. She painted her all the way from her clitoris to her anus with finger nail polish. Coated the area. Yeah, that was interesting.

OMG!! gross and yet funny... wow. Kids are amazing, the things they think up...

[MelW]

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

melw - What necklace? Can I have a link? Im looking for the perfect amber necklace and I cant seem to find it!

I ordered this on etsy. And it's still not here in the mail today- she e-mailed me to say it shipped a week ago! Grrr- Canada Post better hurry! Lindsay, I'm thinking of you and of Sophia everyday. Fingers crossed for the surgery and getting her home soon. You amaze me with your strength and capacity through all of these challenges!

Originally Posted by BennyPai

NAK -
I just finished reading this thread. What a challenged group of Mamas we are!!! AND how strong we are for rising to our respective challenges! We love our babies!!! We can overcome our obstacles and enjoy our families ...

: I hope things settle down for you soon and you find wonderful new friends and support in your new home.

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

I got an hour at the Aveda salon yesterdy By MYSELF! I intended on taking N but she was nursed and sleeping when DH came home so I thought since she screams in the car for her sake maybe this would be better...laid he in the bassinet and ran out of the house! She slept for 30 min then woke happy and was sittin on DH lap when I got home...it was nice to get out on my own. I drove DH truck (which I LOVE), turned up the country music and rolled down the windows...alll things I don't get to do with the kiddos! It's nice to feel like "me" once in a while. I don't think DH really understands what I give up for our children. Oh and got my hair SHORT! I can't stand it in my face when leaning over trying to talk to my baby!

Congrats on the new haircut and salon time. It must feel good! My co-workers bought me a pedicure as a new baby gift, and I'm going to go soon- before a friend's wedding later this month. Though I'm not really a "spa" person, and the only other time I had a pedi (before my sister's wedding) the woman seemed rather horrified by my summertime feet. Despite me washing them before I went- they're still pretty callused and hard working dirty feet

Originally Posted by momma2be_k

Ear Infection.... and antibiotics.....


UGH

Sending you healing vibes! :

Emma, thanks for sharing your thoughts and conversations about parenting, work, teaching, etc. I'm off to read the article you linked. Though I think it's different for men, my husband is one of only two people in his department with children, and the other woman has a 23 year old daughter!

Originally Posted by Peony

I had to make my first call to poison control last night for DD2. She painted her all the way from her clitoris to her anus with finger nail polish. Coated the area. Yeah, that was interesting.

Yikes! For future reference, what did they have you do? And I hope your oldest's insomnia improves soon. I can't imagine how tired you (and she) must be!

Originally Posted by bodhitree

Can I ask, how much are y'all sleeping? I go to bed with River at around 9 or 10 (she will not sleep longer than 15 minutes in a room by herself) and stay in bed about 12 hours, waking up of course to feed and change the kiddo. The problem is, when I get up in the morning, I still feel like I would like to sleep some more! On the one hand, it's amazing that I have a three-month-old and don't feel sleep deprived all the time. On the other hand, I'm getting worried that I might be sleeping too much and it might be related to my feelings of depression lately. But then, I'm the kind of person who normally loves to get around 10 hours, and I don't think I'm getting that much more actual sleep than that, even though I'm in bed longer.

Neela goes to bed at 7, Nora usually around 8 (but much more unpredictable) I go to bed at 9 or 9:30. Nora starts the night in a crib in Neela's room, so I get up to get her when she wakes up (between 11-2 usually). We co-sleep for the rest of the night, usually with a couple of feeds. I get up with Neela between 5 and 6 most mornings. Sometimes my husband gets up with her and I sleep until Nora wakes up between 6 and 7. So I think I'm averaging 8-9 hours in bed, slightly interrupted. I nap once or twice a week, but it's usually brief and pretty light sleep. If I have too many 5 am mornings in a row I'm exhausted, but otherwise I'm doing okay. I'm usually tired when I first get up, but "wake up" once I have some breakfast.

[Lindsay1234]

Surgery went great, shes recovering in the nicu and Im at home about to take a nap. The tube doesnt look nearly as complicated as I thought. Sophia was SMILING when we took her to the OR today. It was busy and loud and all the docs stopped to comment on her cuteness. She loved it!

Almost home!!!!!!
:::::::::: :::::::

More info to come.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by MelW

Yikes! For future reference, what did they have you do? And I hope your oldest's insomnia improves soon. I can't imagine how tired you (and she) must be!

They told us to do what I was already doing. Put her in a bath with soap and keep her in there. It took over an hour. I'd rub with a wash cloth and get some off it off, she would get upset, so back into the tub she would go, eventually it all came off. I doubt she'll do that again! I hope so anyway....

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Surgery went great, shes recovering in the nicu and Im at home about to take a nap. The tube doesnt look nearly as complicated as I thought. Sophia was SMILING when we took her to the OR today. It was busy and loud and all the docs stopped to comment on her cuteness. She loved it!

Almost home!!!!!!
:::::::::: :::::::

More info to come.

Woot!! She sounds like such a character.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by bodhitree

I really needed a reminder this morning that dropping out of grad school was a really good idea for me. If I hadn't, DH and I probably wouldn't have jobs in the same place, and I certainly wouldn't have a baby. So yay for dropping out! :

yeah- my husband isn't an academic, so its not quite as tricky... though of course we still have to juggle our career/work needs.

So, I wanted to share a nice story! I was in IKEA yesterday w/ the kids and our 12-year-old friend. Was nursing baby on this couch by the exit while DS and big friend went to the bathroom. I was also eating an ice cream cone (how's that for multi-tasking!). An older lady sat next to me and then a woman who I think was her daughter brought over their ice creams. They were speaking another language (not sure what!). I said, "I'll be leaving soon" (true) and the younger woman said, "Don't get up for us. I'm SO glad to see you breastfeeding. Actually, I am PROUD of you for breastfeeding."

I have really only ever gotten positive comments for breastfeeding and babywearing (I get TONS of positive comments on the wraps).

[wobblykate]

gosh! i missed a whole day and there is no way i'm catching up.

Lindsay, i'm so happy for you!::

Peony, ack. i hope i never have to call poison control.

Kim, sorry about pj's ear infection

Bodhitree, sorry your move was so tough

If I missed something important, sorry

I'd say I'm getting 8 hours, but it feels like less. Eden goes to sleep around 9 and I fall asleep around 11 (some quality time w/dh). She wakes 2x a night, roughly. I feed her both times, but it's side-lying, so i'm only partially awake. 1 change around 3 am. I find that if i do a contour diaper inside a fitted or a pf, covered by a big wool cover it wicks most of the moisture away and we havent had any rash issues. Anyway, i would love to move eden to her own bed, but she still wakes too much and i don't want to make my sleep less restful. I'm sick of waking up with one whole arm asleep :

I think Eden is beginning to teeth...we'll see.

[momma2be_k]

and the link i dropped earlier for amber necklaces was wrong... it's

amberbabies.ca

[fruitful womb]

Sorry I haven't been around. I really do miss you guys. I've been super busy with all my kids. I've noticed just how out of sinc I was with them. I've been trying to reconnect with each child. I'm really trying hard to bond with each one. They've all been sleeping in my room these last few months. That helps. Along with other still moment convos, reading to them, taking them to the park, doing yoga with them, art activites... and erronds.

Started my period. That really sucks! After a birth, 4 months with the first two is the earliest my cycles have returned. The last two was a whole yr and I loved it! 2 months with this one!!! Maybe it'll just be this one and I won't have another one for another yr??? Wishful thinking maybe?...

[fairymom]

Caleb is 3 mnths old today! Happy 3 mnths to Eden, River, and Riley too. I lie knowing others w/los that were born on the same day. I feel so much more connected to the "outside" knowing others out there that were giving birth the same day/time I was! (sorry ladies think I am feeling a little sentimental today.) I know logically there are children w/the same b-day as my other dc but I don't know any personally and I like the bond- I will forever remember your girls that share a b-day w/Caleb.

[nancy11]

one week of sleeping 6+ hours straight... 50% were 8 hours...
...and i didn't do a thing to instigate it!

swaddle still ends up as a scarf, even with the miracle blanket i had.
i think the crib wedge makes him squiggle around too much.
Z travels off of it and ends up mashed into the bumper tied in a knot.

family picnic tomorrow.
i made a custom made onesie that reads: "i came to eat"
my dad teases the big eaters in the family with "did you come to eat?" at every family function, so when i got this onesie with iron-on letters, i had to do it.
it was a cool gift at zack's birthday party.
i'll post a photo this weekend.

typing with one hand, FTW...

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by emmaegbert

I agree! I really have been feeling like DH isn't pulling his weight and its causing a lot of anger between us. Last night DH asked "are you happy being home with them" and I was sort of at a loss for how to answer. I told him that I AM happy to be with our kids, but that I am really struggling with all the rest of it, the constant work, the lack of any break or "me" time (like, not even 15 minutes a day.... on Tuesday I was trying to go to a yoga class and the kids just both threw total fits and so all I "got" to do was go to ]

I had a much harder time when dd1 was born...my life totally changed and though i loved stayin home it was hard to see his life stayin basically the same. this time though he does ALOT around the house and ALOT with dd1. still there are times i remind him of this...like when he gets cranky cause he worked all day and wants some time to himself...he gets that on his lunch hour ,drive to and from work, sleeping all night(except diaper cange once), running errands by himself...etc. I enjoyed driving the truck without carseats, listening to my music, havin the windows down, taking a full hour for me...won't happen often but I still wuuldn't want to be anything other than SAHM! Sorry your havin a hard time-sometimes it's just tough being mommy!

Originally Posted by Peony

I had to make my first call to poison control last night for DD2. She painted her all the way from her clitoris to her anus with finger nail polish. Coated the area. Yeah, that was interesting.

srry bout the hobblin,hope heals soon! yikes bout the polish...hope she learned!

Originally Posted by bodhitree

Dr Sears's Vaccine Book has a ton of information about each vax, including brands and ingredients for the various brands. I like it because it's very balanced.

Oh and I forget who was asking the other day about babies peeing at night, but River now will often go for the first 5 or so hours of the night without peeing. It freaked me out at first, but it makes me feel better that she's not the only baby whose nighttime habits are changing.

Can I ask, how much are y'all sleeping?

need to get that book! N back to peeing..told DH it was a fluke! though sjhe did sleep 7 hrs last night really wet at 5am! typical sleep...go to bed round 10pm with babe, nurses and then sleeps till 3am, change/nusre sleep till 5 but sometimes squiry...nurse then hard sleep from 6-8ish. I sleep prrtty good i think.

Originally Posted by MelW

Congrats on the new haircut and salon time. It must feel good! My co-workers bought me a pedicure as a new baby gift, and I'm going to go soon- before a friend's wedding later this month. Though I'm not really a "spa" person, and the only other time I had a pedi (before my sister's wedding) the woman seemed rather horrified by my summertime feet. Despite me washing them before I went- they're still pretty callused and hard working dirty feet
.

thanks,easy yet somewhat styled daily, makes me feel better! I'd love a pedi..send it t me

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Almost home!!!!!!
:::::::::: :::::::

More info to come.

:::::::

Originally Posted by fruitful womb

Sorry I haven't been around. I really do miss you guys. I've been super busy with all my kids. I've noticed just how out of sinc I was with them. I've been trying to reconnect with each child. I'm really trying hard to bond with each one. They've all been sleeping in my room these last few months. That helps. Along with other still moment convos, reading to them, taking them to the park, doing yoga with them, art activites... and erronds.

wonderin bout you! thanks for sayin this, I've been pretty selfish lately need to reconnect with dd1. Will make it a point to do something special with her everyday even if just reading a bunch of books on a blanket outside or doing a craft at home.

Originally Posted by nancy11

i made a custom made onesie that reads: "i came to eat"
i'll post a photo this weekend. ...

CUTE! cant' wait to see it!

Terrible typing...HAK (holding at computer)
I'm getting tired of the heat N and I are generating just walking around the hosue or even just sitting in the chair! I HATE being sweaty. I don't remember this with DD1, same exact season too...could it be hormonal? Is there anything natural I can take to help?

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by fruitful womb

Sorry I haven't been around. I really do miss you guys. I've been super busy with all my kids. I've noticed just how out of sinc I was with them. I've been trying to reconnect with each child. I'm really trying hard to bond with each one. They've all been sleeping in my room these last few months. That helps. Along with other still moment convos, reading to them, taking them to the park, doing yoga with them, art activites... and erronds.

I've been trying to keep that up with dd1. Having things we do together--mostly trying to keep up things that we'd done together, before dd2--seems to help her be more patient when I just can't do something because of dd2.

I'm anticipating even more in the next few weeks. Her bff (from next door; exactly three days older) moved yesterday. So I picked her up at daycare--where bff and her little sister had been until early afternoon; the parents dropped off the kids while the movers came.

Dd - "Can we go to K's house?"
Me - "Honey, they've moved; they're not there anymore."
Dd (exasperated; preview of the teen years) - "I know, Mom! I mean to their new house!"
Me - "Not today--maybe someday; they've moved 5 hours away. That's even farther than Uncle J's house."
Dd - "No! I want to go todaaaaay..."

This went on for awhile longer, but to her credit, she didn't keep it up all evening. We went to the beach after dinner; she only mentioned it once right as the lights went out...and then again this morning, first thing. Anyway, we're also moving, though only a mile away. Dh and dd were out for a bike ride one afternoon, passing by a park in the new neighborhood, and met a couple with a four yo girl. So we'll have neighbors her age.

[ShineliketheSon]

Claras_mom: poor girl...I remember being heart broken the million times we moved and I had to leave my BFF!

[wobblykate]

Originally Posted by fairymom

Caleb is 3 mnths old today! Happy 3 mnths to Eden, River, and Riley too. I lie knowing others w/los that were born on the same day. I feel so much more connected to the "outside" knowing others out there that were giving birth the same day/time I was! (sorry ladies think I am feeling a little sentimental today.) I know logically there are children w/the same b-day as my other dc but I don't know any personally and I like the bond- I will forever remember your girls that share a b-day w/Caleb.

Thanks for reminding me! Our babies are 3 months!!! :

Originally Posted by nancy11

one week of sleeping 6+ hours straight... 50% were 8 hours...
...and i didn't do a thing to instigate it!

swaddle still ends up as a scarf, even with the miracle blanket i had.
i think the crib wedge makes him squiggle around too much.
Z travels off of it and ends up mashed into the bumper tied in a knot.

family picnic tomorrow.
i made a custom made onesie that reads: "i came to eat"
my dad teases the big eaters in the family with "did you come to eat?" at every family function, so when i got this onesie with iron-on letters, i had to do it.
it was a cool gift at zack's birthday party.
i'll post a photo this weekend.

typing with one hand, FTW...

My family picnic is tomorrow, too! Nephew is wearing a specialized t-shirt "DON'T FEED ME. I'M ALLERGIC" Hopefully no one thinks it's a joke. He's at that toddler age where they're highly mobile, but unable to say 'no thanks' to no no foods. Poor kid's allergic to everything.

[ShineliketheSon]

Have fun at the picinics all!

made a therapy appointment for next week...wrote a bit bout it in my blog.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

Have fun at the picinics all!

made a therapy appointment for next week...wrote a bit bout it in my blog.

Big hugs to you Shine.

I can't wait to see pics of the picnic Nancy, at least show us the onesis you made.

Just now got the day over with. It was a very busy long day. Off to bed.

[fairymom]

been dealing w/a clogged duct for 2 days now. had one about a month ago too- same breast. : this one felt like it was in deep and so much harder to get relief from- hot compresses weren't working or massage. finally took a hot shower (hard to want to because of the heat here) but better now. something I noticed and wanted to see if anyone experinced this was- i had a little white spot on my nipple where I think the clogg either 1- worked its self up to or 2- the clogg may have started, but either way no milk would come out around that area. the hot shower helped to loosen it and i was able to hand express milk out. has anyone else noticed a spot on their nipple when dealing w/a clog? Trying to figure out why I am getting this many. w/all my other dc I think i got maybe 2 total cloggs (out of all the dcs) one w/ds4 and one with dd7 none w/the olders. Positioning? latch? Ideas?

hope everyone had a great weekend.