post #21 of 21
Hair cuts became a big issue for us because DSD's mom (who had 50/50 custody) gave my step-daughter her very first haircut after having called my husband and not left a message, then saying she "tried to get in touch" with him first. It seems really minor, but it was part of a pattern of similar actions that really seemed to be aimed at making sure my husband knew she did NOT consider him equally important.

Anyway, since then haircuts have required consent from both parents. Even then it has been an issue... my husband and his ex went together to get her hair trimmed the next time and even though they'd agreed on a trim, mom okayed a much shorter cut while my husband was talking to his daughter.

We would be happy to leave it up to my step-daughter at this point, but mom says she always talks about wanting short "pixie" or "fairy" hair... and we only ever hear about her wanting long "princess" hair and never wanting to cut it. Both parents feel like they are trying to advocate for their daughter's wishes, but when those aren't consistent it is pretty hard to do... so for the moment I think it will remain "longish."