Remembering Our Loved Ones~A Memorial - Page 3

[mamabearsoblessed]

Gram, I am missing you like crazy. Sometimes I get so busy I don't feel you come around me. You were never a quiet soul in life- why start now??
I miss you so. I love you. Lately I have been remembering your hands. The soft, fair Irish freckles. The other day Mom asked me if I wanted lunch and I did hear you "i could eat" . This Christmas is just the first without you.

Missing you Uncle Michael. I can't believe it has been one year. The pipes are calling this Silent Night.

[polka123]

:all my Grandparents are gone I miss you more than word can express
Thanks for teaching me about our family & where we came from.

to all the Aunts, Uncles & cousins that are gone

candle to my Father that has been gone 5 yrs - who will never see his Grandson... or see his Granddaughter become a great young woman & hold her someday kids OK, ,,, too choked up to type...


to my beloved pets that have passed

thanks for starting this thread

[MommaMoo]

Mom, on 12-13, it will be 16 years that you have been gone. You were unbelievably strong until the end, when you requested to be removed from life-support. Dad and I stayed with with you until you left us, holding your hand and weeping. I was only a child of 12 and had no idea how to handle it. Dad was left a shell of human being. Having already lost both his parents, he probably had all he could take. He became, and still is, a terrible alcoholic, although I suspect he had already had that problem for some time. I did the typical "falling in with the bad crowd" and was arrested a few times, finally ending up in a group home for awhile. I was a terrible mess, and dad had no idea what to do. He was a lousy father, I'm sorry to say. It took me until my mid-twenties, but I finally found my path and "straightened out." I am in love with my wonderful fiance (he's an artist AND a leftist who can debate dad into the ground, must drive dad nuts ), and we have the most gorgeous, sweetest baby boy. Dad is a good grampa. He is remarried now and they are happy and in love. Christmas is around the corner and we will be visiting. My step-mom calls me her "daughter," which is odd, because she was never like a mother to me, and YOU were my mom. Oh well, it makes her happy. I am so much like you. I'm an herbalist, into all sorts of domestic hobbies and crafts. I learned a lot from you. You were always so strong, even when you knew you were dying. As I cared for you all those years you were sick, I learned empathy, and the joy of caring for loved ones. I became quite a grown-up early on, with a mature outlook on life and death. I came out a wonderful person on the other side of all the pain and heartache of my earlier years. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I don't know what I believe about an afterlife, but it would be an immesurable, ecstatic joy to be in your arms again. I will teach your grandson about you. Goodbye, mom.

[mom2my4kids]

Posting a memorial for my baby girl Tiffany, who should be 4 years old now. The holidays are always so hard. Mama misses you sweet Angel.

[lisamarie]

Today is my birthday and the last day that I saw my Grandmother alive. She had been sick w/cancer and was dying. I feel like it was the best birthday gift that I have ever received and she ended up dying the day after my birthday on 12/15/04. Lighting a candle for Grandma in honor of her life, legacy and love.

Warmly~

Lisa

[hobbitsmama]

thank you everyone for sharing. somehow it makes me feel better to post this .. times like these .. big family times, make it harder.
for my mama .. a memorial. she has been gone for 14 years. i miss her and wish she could be here to meet my kiddos and share this time with me. i like to believe that she would be proud of the kind of mom i have turned out to be .. trusting my instincts and having a crazy but fulfilling time.

[SunShineSally]

Dziadzi (grandpa) It was our first christmas with out you.everyone we know came by to make sure it wan't just the main family it was nice of them. We bought a candle to light for you with 3 wicks 1 because you were a husban 1 because you were a father and 1 because you were the best Dziadzi anyone could have. We could all feel you there and yelling at us to take more pictures The past few days for some reason have been hard. I know you are probily yelling telling me that you are still here just on a different level. I believe this with all my heart but it is still so hard. To know that I can never hug or kiss your ear again. That you will not watch Joe go to his first day of school. Like you did Amy Brian and myself. That Joe will never hear you sing your favorite polkas and watch you dance with Babci in the kitchen on saturday morning you two were so in love. We are taking care of Babci like we promised. I love you Dziadzi I hope that oneday I will marry someone like you. Like I told you before If Joe grows up to be even half the man you were I know that I have done my job as a mother. I love you and miss you more than words could ever describe!

Karen and Baby Joe

[doitmyselfmama]

Mummy, I miss you so much. I just went through the box of pictures Dave "gave" to us, and I miss you all over again. When I got to the groups of pictures you had separated out of Taylor, Laura and I to make into scrapbooks I cried. I feel so lucky that I got a half-finished book and at the same time it's so sad that you did not have time to complete it. Every time I look at Atticus I think of how much you would like to pinch his chubby cheeks. Sometimes it's not enough to think you're with us in spirit, I want you here in body too. I want my son to have a Nanny. I want a mum. I feel so alone so often because I need you to help me with the baby and nobody else is good enough. Jason says I just need to allow myself to be helped but he really doesn't understand. I only want your help. It seems like such a cruel world that could let a beautiful person such as yourself slip through my fingers the way that you did.
Atticus is so perfect. you would be here every day to see him, I just know it. You would be so happy, he's such a lovely baby. I'm sorry you can never touch him.
I miss you.

I don't even know if this is in the right thread but thank you for letting me write it. It was something that had to get out.

[jl22martin]

My still born son

I think this is a wonderful idea. My son Sawyer Scott was stillborn on Jan.20, 2006. I was 22 wks and had a regular check up only to discover he had no heart beat. After being induced and having to go through labor our son entered the world weighing in at 11.4 oz. and was 9 3/4 inches. The doctors never did determine what happened to him. I think of him every day and I can't wait to meet him in heaven.

[MamaHippo]

My Oma

My Oma, Jeanette Annamaria VanBraght deBruyn, died on Nov. 16, 2005.

Oma and I were kindred spirits.
She always knew how I was feeling.
She liked to take me aside - me, her spitting image, with her nordic blondness and her strong profile, her eyes, her teeth, her butt (she teased)
Tell me I was her favorite
Tell me I was special, blessed by God
Even when I didn't believe it.
Laughed with me over every triumph
Cried with me over my dramatic teenage tragedies
Her laugh still rings in my ears
her strong accent still lingering
Even after her mind had wandered off without her
and she didn't always recognize or understand
She still always knew, just knew
how to be there.
Proud, tall
Artist, sculptor, painter
lover of babies, gardens, jewelry, her family, her Homeland
Mother of 5
Grandmother of 6
Great-grandmother of 3
She gave me her face, her frugalness, her melancholy
I see her every time I look in the mirror
bake her bread,
sing her songs,
wear her bracelet,
or look at my child...she's given him her image too.
She's always here.

[wackynaturelady]

For my sister, Mary, who was taken from us on March 17, 2006 at about 3:00 am. Today, I was given some of her ashes. It feels so bittersweet to have a part of her here. I just can't believe she's gone.

She taught me that it was ok to think for yourself, even if it wasn't what everyone else wants you to think. She was one of the strongest people I ever knew. She gave endlessly to those who needed help the most: the poor, the weak, the hurting. She suffered so much pain and hurt in her life, but seemed to get less bitter.

She died in the arms of the man she loved in a hotel in Lima, Peru. She was 34. Even though cocaine made her heart stop, we believe it was the Multiple Sclerosis that killed her, because it made her no longer want to live, for fear of becoming a burden.

Mary-
Mom & John, Amy, Jason & I all miss you so so much. The kids miss their Aunt Mary. Shanny drew a picture of you, (with, of course, blue hair). I can't begin to say how I hurt to know I won't see you or hear your voice again.

With all the love in the world,
Your little sister,
San

[TinyBabyBean]

To my husband's dear grandfather. He passed just today. He had a happiness for life that I just can't describe. I learned from him that his quiet more gentle nature could always rise above and reach out when my husband needed him the most. He was giving and generous. We always wanted to spend more time with him but I never felt comfortable around my husband's grandmother who used to recount stories of physically abusing my husband with a sparkle of joy in her eyes that was evil. So, I mostly stayed away but I always adored his Grandfather. He had something good and of love in him that was shining through stronger than it does in most people.

Antonio, thank you for being there for us when we needed you. Me and your five great-grandchildren I have here with me send love to you and wish you well and at peace.

[foenyx]

Gram

I light this candle for my Gram. I grew up as a military brat of divorced parents, so I didn't see her much until I was on my own.

But she was the only one that ever showed me true and unconditional love. It is her seed, planted and watered with her joy for me, that allows me to try and be a better mother to my children; to be what I never knew.

Just a few months before she passed I was able to visit and share the joy of motherhood with her. She met my son and although she never met my daughter, we can see her shining through. Some of the mischevious spirit of my Gram is alive and well in our little pixie.

When my father called to tell me Gram had passed, I just fell to the floor and cried, denying it to myself. I think part of me is still denying it. I haven't really admitted to anyone else how much it hurts to lose the person who loved me so much, understood me and found joy in me like nobody else did.

Thank you for giving me a place to light my candle for her.

[Tonia80]

I dont really know what to say here cuz I think if I start I may never stop. So, will share with you two poems I wrote. the first for my only daughter Destiny Starr whom I miscarried due to a partial molar pregnancy in December of 2001 and the other a child I lost just a month and a half ago to miscarriage whom we named Angel Petra (a unisex name, petra means 5, s/he was my 5th pregnancy)

REPERCUSSION OF A LOST CHILD
hard to tell
which way we fell.
hard to know
where winds can blow
when storms raged
above our heads,
when darknes came
and brought the dead.
she was the ghost
haunting your dreams,
she was the regret
that swallowed up your screams.
We assumed love
would always be enough
to keep us going
when thinsg got tough,
but there yo are
with paper and song
twisting it, changing it,
making it wrong.
starchild, moonchild,
dancer in the twilight of winter,
only a moment in time
she was mine,
she was ours,
only a moment in time....

BLEED (upon miscarrying my 5th child)
I.
she wanst nothing more
than to bleed,
this little life fluttering
insistently stubborn
within her.
It is, at best,
a nuisance, a distraction,
an unfortunate circumstance
to be forced, flushed, scraped, sucked
OUT
by any means neccesary.
One life ended
so one can go on.
One interupted
so she can be
Uninterrupted.

II.
I am pleading with God,
making desperate deals with Him,
to stpo this bleeding.
I find myslef crouching
in my pristine white tub,
watching clots, tissue, fragments of placenta
slip silently out of me,
lie forlornly beneath me
on cold porcelian.
I cannot look away
from tiny weavings of deep red viens
in gray-red amniotic sac.
I discover the cord
and I weep.
I was ready for this life
to change everything.
I welcomed that change.
Now it is lost.

III.
I cannot escape teh cruel irony,
She wanting to bleed,
I wishing I never had.
I want to yell at her,
"Don't you see how lucky you are?
I would trade places with you,
If I could."

I cannot hate her for this.
We take two seperate paths,
and I cannot judge her
for not taking mine.
But it still hurts like hell.

One girl killing her child,
The other helpless to save hers.
I'm not sure which is the worst nightmare,
Which leaves the deepest scars,
Which leads to the most regret.

We're both, in the end.
just two mothers of lost angels.

[Mama8]

To my sweet darling baby boy Christian. I miss you so very much. You were my only son. I poured my heart into you. You were so wise beyond your tender age. Looking into your eyes was looking into portals of eternity. I am so sorry that your life held so much pain. I grieve you never got to feel the wind and rain on your face never got to nurse at my breast. I loved you high pitched staccato chipmunk voice, you Elvis side burns, you strength will and determination to live. You were a true fighter from the moment of your conception. I miss you buddy. I miss the feel of you little head and body nestled on my breast. I miss the feel of your hair on my lips as I rubbed my face across your little head. I loved that you were not a placid baby but had spirit and fire. You always did know what you liked and what you did not, you also knew who you liked and who you did not, and you were never afraid to let it be known. My arms physically ache to hold you again. How very desperately I want to walk into our bedroom and find you sleeping snuggled in with your sisters. I wish I could see you with your twin Jenny. I grieve the could have beens. The pictures of you and Jenny through the years, breastfeeding, homecoming, co-sleeping, slinging, crawling, walking, homeschooling, playing outside and getting that dirty boy smell, seeing you grow into a man and finding your dreams. My dream is to see you again. I know I will it is just so long and I miss you.

A second candle I light for my cousin Wendy Menzter. Killed 2 months after Christian died and 2 months after her 17th birthday. She had gotten in a roll over accident. They suspect to avoid a deer. She survived the accident and was gathering her belongings off the highway and putting them in a pile. They suspect she was looking for her cell phone to call for help. It was night and the highway was dark. She was hit by a semi who never stopped but dragged her down the highway. They have never caught or charged the semi driver. She was from a small town in MT and her mother was the public health nurse and the only medical care in town. So the family was well known. The sheriff who knew Wendy well, could not identify the body. My prayer is for comfort and a measure of peace for my Aunt and Uncle who are grieving her hard. I also pray that the Lord protect her brother who is on his fourth tour of duty in Iraq in the Marines and brings him home safely.

My God hold us all in the palm of His hand.

[lisamarie]

Lighting a candle today for a dear family friend, Rev. Kenneth Peterson, who died last early Sunday morning. He dedicated his life to the church, to his family and to his community. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to know this gracious man. His voice was like James Earl Jones, his smile lighted up a room and his words were priceless.

Warmly~

Lisa

[box_of_rain]

A candle for my grandmother who died yesterday morning.

One for my dad who died of cancer in 2000 (at age 50).

One for my oldest friend who was hit by a car and died in 2004 (at age 24).

One for my gardening grandfather who taught me so much (1991).

One for my musical grandfather who loved to play fiddle (2005).

Two for the grandparents I was never able to meet (1961 & 1962).

One for Sarah (1998) One for Jeff (1999) One for Kevin (1995) My sweet friends.

I miss you all.

[lisamarie]

Lighting a candle this morning for my dear Mother. It has been two years since she lost her life and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her voice, her touch and how much I miss her. She was an amazing Mother and Grandmother and it is so painful not to have her here.

In her honor~

Lisa

[Arania79]

For my wonderful Grandmother..... I will always adore you

For my equally wonderful Grandfather....December 21, 1991...

They're together for eternity....

[Kirsta Martin]

I can't believe this is my life

My husband of 14 years was killed on August 13 by a drunk driver. Brad was on his way to fish, as he did every Sunday. We were high school sweethearts, so I feel as though I lost 20 years of my life and memories. I have two boys, 6 and 8. I am hoping to connect with someone who has done this, or is currently dealing with it.