Originally Posted by AverysMomma
So..this thread is in an effort to get a sense of how you have regarded your body and self through all the phases of your motherhood...pregnancy, birth, parenting, etc.. Which is to say....
How did you regard your body, did your feelings about your body change and how did that feeling shift after giving birth to your child(ren)?
How did you regard yourself, in relation to this life and other people, prior to and after becoming a mother?
What shift occured in you from a spiritual standpoint? Meaning, on a SOUL level...how has becoming a mother shaped you. Do you feel powerful...was birth empowering? Maybe your birth was not...is mothering empowering for you? Do you feel as though you have become your true self after becoming a mother....?
I do very much want to keep this a calm and respectful discussion....no right answers here, only truth...yours, mine, ours! Even if your answer is: Birth was terrible, mothering is worse! - no wrong answers...only a place for us to reflect on who we were....and who we are now that we are mothers.
i used to think of myself as kind of a flake...like, i had no follow-through. if something got tough, or i couldn't do it "well enough" to suit my perfectionism, i would just quit. so i had a trail of half-finished projects, several majors and minors added and dropped in college.
once i got pregnant, i started reading, and i decided i wanted a natural birth at a birth center. i had several near-panic moments as labor approached, because i knew that i was a wimp, and i was afraid i'd back down, just like always do when the going gets tough.
but. i did it. i gave birth naturally. to a posterior 9 lb 4 oz beautiful baby boy.
and breastfeeding sucked for the first 10 weeks of his life. it was absolutely awful. it hurt so bad and it was so hard.
but. he's almost 6 months old and we're still breastfeeding.
so, i'd say that i have learned that i am a bit more stubborn than i once thought, especially when it comes to something i am passionate about. on a soul level, i think becoming a mother has helped fine tune what is important to me, what my priorities are, who is important in my life and who isn't. i am more assertive now than i ever was before i had a baby, even in a quiet sort of way. like, why yes, i will nurse my baby in public. i will blow off my family's efforts to get me to quit breastfeeding when it was terrible. i will listen to my heart and do what i know is right for me and my baby. and if other people don't like what i do, they can lump it.
my body....i LOVED being pregnant. i felt beautiful and sexy and amazing, just because i was growing this life. even when i gained 85 lbs i still felt good.
now...well, i am still losing that 85 lbs.
and that's been hard. i don't really like the stretched-out deflated balloon look that my belly has. remember how i said that breastfeeding was terrible in the beginning? well, part of that was that DS refused to latch to the left side. and even though i pumped and pumped, the left side just never produced very much. so long story short, i am lopsided. my right breast is 3x the size of my left. and i love breastfeeding, and i am content giving my baby the best, but there are days where i feel dumpy and lumpy and weird-looking. so, it's been an adjustment to get used to and like my "new" self. i don't think i look sexy anymore, if i am honest.
is mothering empowering? sometimes, yes. sometimes it is amazing. i have this little amazing person in my life. he loves me and i love him and that's amazing. sometimes mothering makes me feel dumber and more out of my league than anything else ever has. hands down, being a mom is the hardest job i have ever had. but also the most amazing.
have i become my true self? no, but i am moving in that direction. becoming a mother has definitely helped me discover more about myself -- what is important to me, etc. i'm alot more crunchy than i ever knew.