How soon is "too soon" to TTC #2?

[filiadeluna]

We have a 3 month old DD. Recently, DH went from wanting to wait 2-3 years to have another, to not wanting another at all, and now to wanting another right away. So now he's basically saying he's ready whenever I am.

I am torn, though, honestly. Yes, I want another one really badly, and I am sooo tempted to TTC soon for various reasons. However, I originally wanted to breastfeed my daughter for at least 2 years. I don't want to risk having to supplement if my supply drops when pregnant. Right now I've actually got oversupply, though, so pumping a lot wouldn't be a problem if we waited until I'd only need a 3 months supply or so stashed (since that is how long it will last in the freezer). *sigh* I'm not sure what to do. I'm not asking for opinions on child spacing as far as how they get along, etc, I'm simply asking about this in relation to continuing BFing while pregnant, and being able to ovulate while BFing.

So, DH was asking me this morning, "When do you want to have another baby?" I explained the potential issue with BFing, and said "at least until she's 6-9 months old, but I want to do a little more research first." Is this old enough, though?

And of course, I told him I don't even know if I *can* get pregnant since exclusive BFing can sometimes keep you from ovulating. However, I did get my period back at about 13 weeks pp, though it was light and only lasted 3 days, so it's possible that I am ovulating. : Perhaps b/c DD STTN most of the time (usually 4-6 hours before waking for another feeding). Lastly, it took us 9 months to conceive DD and I hadn't even been on hormonal bc for years, so it could potentially take even longer with #2, especially since I'm nursing.

So... WWYD?

FWIW: I run an in-home daycare, so childcare would not be an issue, and I do have a backup provider in case I am dealing with morning sickness or other pregnancy ailments.

[Peony]

What is the least amount of time you would want your DD to bf? Nursing while pg varies widely as far as how it goes for the mom and child. It isn't unheard of for the child to wean themselves, milk supply decreasing is very common, and just bfing while pg can be torture for some woman. My advice would be to read Adventures in Tandem Nursing and Beyond and figure out when you would be ok with her weaning even with the 3 months of milk in the freezer. Plan for the worst and then decide on a time frame.

Getting pg while bfing is a whole other animal. It is easy for some and very difficult for others. Sometimes you may not know until you are at that point. Now, wasn't that whole post crystal clear.

[ivymae]

It really depends on the family, and what your body is willing to do. For my family, I felt like trying to conceive before my kids were a year old would be too much - too much stress on them, and too much stress on my body. A full year of breastfeeding was lovely with each of them, and was a priority for us. Each time, my cycles came back around a year after birth, so conceiving before then would have been impossible anyway, unless I had weaned earlier. With DD1, I conceived when she was around 14months old, and my supply lasted until i was 7 months pregnant. With DD2, we have been trying since she was 13months old and my cycles came back, but have not had luck yet, but I would be okay with her weaning now (20 months).

Basically it comes down to whether you would be heartbroken if your DD weaned early, due to your pregnancy. Some women lose their supply right away, and some have more than enough all the way through and can tandem nurse. You can't know which one you will be before hand, so my two cents is to wait until you feel like you would be okay with her weaning before you actively TTC. best of luck, and I hope your supply stays strong through whatever choice you make.

[filiadeluna]

Thanks, ladies! Well, thankfully I am already using FF again to track my cycles, so when we do start TTC I'll have a head start. I am thinking it may be better to wait until she is at least 9 months old, which would be Dec. 22nd. Plus, then we'd be through the holidays before dealing with another pregnancy. I don't want to chance running out of breast milk for her when she is still so young. I will definitely build up a good stash closer to that time, too.

[h@ppy mama]

I think waiting until 9 months is a great idea. That way she's still young enough that you can have a close spacing but you'll be able to nurse her for at LEAST 9 months, if not past a year.

Good luck to you!

My DD is 11 months and we're still up in the air about when to start trying for number 2. I do know that if we try sooner, rather than later, I'm happy that will have made it to the year mark (most likely farther).

[alegna]

Personally I'm not comfortable TTC before baby is 2yrs old. Even great milk supplies are tanked by pregnancy often. And not all babies will take expressed milk.

-Angela

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by alegna

Personally I'm not comfortable TTC before baby is 2yrs old. Even great milk supplies are tanked by pregnancy often. And not all babies will take expressed milk.

-Angela

ITA. and even now that DD is 2, i don't feel ready from a nursing standpoint. she is really attached to her mookies, and i want to know she'd be okay if they dried up before i get pregnant.

everyone is different, of course, but i really can't imagine intentionally trying to get pregnant before 1 year. having an 18 month old and a newborn would be HARD.

[claddaghmom]

DH and I went totally baby crazy after DD was born too. :

And it was the nursing issue that slowed us down as well. First I talked about it, and then DH did some research and felt the same as me. So currently we are really baby crazy but hoping to wait. But hoping maybe a baby will fall through the cracks. But hoping not. Mostly.... lol I bet you know what I mean.

Anyways, I know my mom tandem nursed and nursed through pregnancies. She had a couple close babies and in fact conceived my sister when I was just under 3 mos.

Nursing DD is so important to me, however, that I don't want to risk it. DH and I were kinda forced to deliberate on this issue b/c I started ovulatory cycles 3 mos pp. But the last couple cycles have had a LPD so I guess my hormones are still being indecisive.

We will see!

[DreamsInDigital]

Originally Posted by h@ppy mama

I think waiting until 9 months is a great idea. That way she's still young enough that you can have a close spacing but you'll be able to nurse her for at LEAST 9 months, if not past a year.

Good luck to you!

:

[Marlet]

It's such a tricky thing but I agree...it really depends on your family. I don't get my cycles back until 13 months pp and even then it takes months before I ovulate. DD1 and DD2 are 27 months apart. DD2 and this one will be 28 months apart. I'm lucky in that I can nurse through pregnancy and not have supply issues. I wouldn't personally consider it before a year. Though that doesn't matter because neither does my body.

[aikigypsy]

I decided to wait until DD was at least 18 months old to TTC, even though I was going a bit baby-crazy since she was 3 months old, on and off. I felt that I needed that time.

At 18 months, DD seemed to be cutting back a bit on nursing and I felt like I had a small surplus of physical energy. I got my birth control pulled... and a few weeks later DD started up on a nursing frenzy. Now, she's still nursing more than she was a month ago, but I really do feel she's at a stage where she could do well on regular food if she felt like it. I'm open to getting pregnant now, but part of me thinks it would be good if it took a few months this time round.

For me, I felt that waiting until 18 months, as a bare minimum, was important from a nursing standpoint, as well as in terms of my own physical energy and recovering from pregnancy, etc. If I were younger (I'll be 39 next month), and a few other things had been different, I would have probably chosen to wait longer, until at least age 2, to start TTC.

[GearGirl]

I think there is a natural wanting a baby surge around the three month mark, it must be hormonal! I would let it pass, and go with your plan to wait until December as far as nursing goes. My third is 19 months old, and nursing like a fiend. In some ways he still seems like a baby and nurses like one, it would be pretty hard to maintain the nursing relationship I have with him now with a newborn tandem nursing.

[filiadeluna]

Thanks for the opinions, everyone!

re: expressed milk: I know DD will take it (though it's not ideal) if need be, because DH and my mom have given her some before.

[OTMomma]

Originally Posted by filiadeluna

Thanks for the opinions, everyone!

re: expressed milk: I know DD will take it (though it's not ideal) if need be, because DH and my mom have given her some before.

No offense meant by this- but what a 3 month old will do, and what the same child will do at 9 months is not necessarily the same. I say that having 2 children and prego with #3. I got pregnant with this baby when my ds was 18 months old- and I have to say that nursing through pregnancy has not been fun. I recommend not ttc until you can look at your dd and say "I am comfortable if we have to wean Now". When that date is is very individual- some people are comfortable stopping nursing at 9-10 months, others don't feel ready until baby is over 2. But the truth is, your milk supply might dry up, or you might find nursing so painful you just can't continue- personally, I've found nursing painful at times, and almost weaned due to it, but managed to keep nursing ds to sleep. My milk turned to colostrum at about 20 weeks, but my ds kept nursing.

I think its really impossible with your first to realize how tiny your new baby will still be at a year- to me one is still very much a baby, and both my kids needed to nurse past that date- they just needed it.

[Mama2 '05'06]

Ds1 was concieved when dd was 6mo. She went completely to a bottle within days of my BFP b/c that's what the dr said. Now I that I listened to that. Anyways. Ds2 was concieved when ds1 was 8mo and I was completely breastfeeding him. He would take no solids or anything else at that point. At about 10weeks, my supply took a nosedive and he had to start taking some oatmeal or go hungry. But he also suckled every hour around the clock. About 2 weeks later, my milk was back and he nursed up until 2 weeks before ds2 was born at 34.5 weeks. Now I had visions of breastfeeding ds2 until he was at least 2yo. But just before he turned 1, I found out I was going to have to have surgery to remove some breast tissue. So 2 weeks after his first birthday he had to wean. He was NOT ready. He finally accepted a bottle and now drinks goat's milk in a bottle and he's 20mo. He started out on a bottle once they took the g-tube out so I didn't think he'd have an issue taking a bottle but he did.
We are now TTC #4 and I hope to be able to breastfeed for 2 yrs but we'll see what the surgery did afa if it will work out.

[zjande]

It seems that the majority of women do see a decrease in milk supply during pregnancy, or lose their milk completely. I personally lose my milk completely in the first trimester (though my babies still dry nurse all the way through), so I personally don't TTC before my youngest reaches 12 mos old, just because that's the time frame that DH & I are comfortable with. We want our kids to at least get 12 mos worth of breastmilk (I tandem nurse afterwards as well) before the next pregnancy. My ppaf returns before 12 mos, & we use a diaphragm, but after charting the last 2 times, I realized that I don't seem to ovulate until after 12-13 mos PP anyway so that works out just fine.

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by OTMomma

I recommend not ttc until you can look at your dd and say "I am comfortable if we have to wean Now". When that date is is very individual- some people are comfortable stopping nursing at 9-10 months, others don't feel ready until baby is over 2. But the truth is, your milk supply might dry up, or you might find nursing so painful you just can't continue- personally, I've found nursing painful at times, and almost weaned due to it, but managed to keep nursing ds to sleep. My milk turned to colostrum at about 20 weeks, but my ds kept nursing.

I think its really impossible with your first to realize how tiny your new baby will still be at a year- to me one is still very much a baby, and both my kids needed to nurse past that date- they just needed it.

Yes, I agree with this person. I became pregnant with #2 when my first was 8 1/2 month. The milk supply plummited, I noticed it first around 6 weeks. DD was exclusively breastfeeding. She started nursing practically 24-7 and it was also horrifically painful for me (like the ickyness factor was at the top of the charts...just imagine a thousand nails on a chalkboard).

Nursing was pure bliss and it turned into pure hell. Because DD was so young I continued to breastfeed her (looking back I don't know how). She dove into solids to make up for the difference. I used herbs somewhat during pregnancy to help. The only one that seemed to help was HOPS...and then later on a different midwife told me not to use it. I never had problems with it--maybe though it was because I only did a little each day. One MW said it was safe, the other said no. Also got the same advice with blessed thistle. She was just past a year when my milk supply disappeared completely. It was like there was no let down. She still nursed for comfort. I think it was around 23 weeks.

Somehow we made it through it, but I know DD would have nursed differently and had different experiences (more gradual) introduction to solids. My other DC have barely eaten solids until they were around 13 months...most weren't interested at all until around 9-10 months. So, that's what I believe she would have done and chosen if she could.

All of this being said, I would say that I wouldn't consider getting pregnant again until DC are well established in eating solids and can have alternate nutrution (cows milk, etc.) to drink. I don't generally think about it now until closer to that 2 year mark. You just don't know how the dc will react to not only the drop in supply, but the alteration in taste (the taste changes).

And, I'm one of those moms who had milk coming out everywhere initially...I could nurse triplets LOL. In fact, in my experience with moms who have overproduction (as I have) it seems as if our milk disappears even more substantially than moms who have smaller supplies. Must be an issue of hormonal sensitivity.

[JennTheMomma]

I would wait until you are comfortable with weaning. Its really hard to say what will happen to your supply, and how your baby will take it. I know I personally wouldn't be able to deal with being pregnant and having such a young baby. Pregnancy takes a lot out of a woman and a baby and even early toddler needs his/her mom a lot. Hunter is 2 years old now, and eventhough we've had baby fever for a long time, we both now feel like we're ready to TTC and have been for a few cycles. I like having Hunter older aswell, he understands a little bit better what is happening.

[Burnindinner]

I have an 8.5 mo DS and have decided to TTC (or kind of sort of - just not prevent).

I will keep bf'ing as long as he wants to. He actually eats solids REALLY well, and would eat more if I let him. That said, the diapers make it obvious that's not where he's getting his nutrition! I have never had any sort of regular cycle, so it could be a while anyway. With a lot of faith and prayer, we feel like this is the best option for us.

I am not sure if that answered what you were really asking, I just wanted to chime in with our "how we made our decision" bit.

[Kaiface]

I really don't have much insight on breastfeeding while pregnant, or trying to get pregnant while breastfeeding, but my aunt (who was 37 at the time) was exclusively breastfeeding her son that was born in January. She had her second child December of that same year, so it is possible for some women to get pregnant quite easily while breastfeeding.

And as far as I know, her milk supply lasted until she decided to stop breastfeeding her second son.