Originally Posted by jennydecki
I know, I hated suggesting the police, but if I saw a toddler outside at night and didn't know where the child belonged, what else could I do? I know that's taking a specific situation and making it more OT and I don't mean to do that, but depending on the situation it might not be a bad call. Maybe the parents need more support than they have right now and if the OP cannot help provide that and the parents don't know where to look for it...family services might be able to help. (I have a much more complex view on this and I'm trying to boil it down so the post isn't too long but I'm rereading it and thinking, "That is what I mean ... but not quite like that ..." grrr!)
I would only use it as a case of last resort, but just because the ignorant want to call non-vaxers to the carpet with family services (and other intelligent mammas making informed - but not socially popular - decisions on other things as well) doesn't mean they don't need to be there for certain situations. Family services isn't just the refuge of the nosy snitch...
Maybe if they have Sundays off they can visit a church and find some connections for babysitters or ways they can get more relaxing time in during the week so they can be more alert during the night if something happens with the little one. If they are working opposite shifts and are exhausted all the time ... it's really a tough situation ...
Crap - if you don't have many friends that probably means you're not accepting new applications. Which kinda stinks cause I kinda dig you. *grin*
I understand what you mean....but CPS doesn't have a "off", "on" or "in the middle" switch...it's not either "Let's go snatch some kid, YEAH!" or "Hey guys, let's be reasonable on this one, m'kaay, these people seem like they just need a little guidance"....they kind of operate on a "let's go see what we can find" basis. And we all know, sometimes what they "find" doesn't make ANY sense, but there it is, in any case...totally ruining somebody's life. "What do you mean, you COSLEEP, EVERY kid needs to ahve his own bed, why is this bed covered in laundry???" and the beat goes on..... Maybe they go and just help the poor people...maybe they go and they find stains on the rug and give that crap we saw here once, about "stains could be emitting toxic fumes" or whatever else...maybe these parents are occasional MJ users and there is some evidence of that, say, stashed on top of the fridge...or whatever. Maybe they let her run loose, with no diaper on in the day time, get messy and don't clean her face....I mean, whatever, you know? There are any number of ways this could go wrong...and more of the time than any of us would care to talk about, it DOES go wrong, you know?
I just feel like...even if the things that these people are trying to do aren't good enough by our standards...who ARE WE? You know? I think that people have a right to parent as they see fit (obviously barring actual physical abuse or molstation, etc). I see what's happening as unacceptable...but these people might think they are doing the best they can....I can't be the judge of that and CPS is proven time and time again to be a lousy judge of that. The point is.....in life, a human should have the right to parent their child...even if I look at that and see failure....it's their right to fail. We can't save every kid in the world, who gets out of his bed at night and goes looking for fun/trouble...you know?
And FTR, if I saw a kid outside in the night, I would run out to the child, try to discover the location of his home and if I could not and he was unable to communicate anything to me like a phone number, etc...I WOULD call the cops. But the cops would be there to help this kid get home...you know? This cop would get the kid home and ring a doorbell, to find a couple of absolutely TERRIFIED, obviously just-sleeping parents...who would be SHOCKED and he would lecture them and hopefully NOT call CPS to "follow up"...hopefully he would be a parent himself and would have some compassion. How many times do the cops need to wake you from sleep in the middle of the night, with your child, who you didn't even know was missing, before you figure out a way to keep him in the house at night? But anyway, that's common sense, calling, because a kid is out in the cold wet night and you don't know how to get him home again, you know? There's nothing else you can do there.
Also....FTR....we have friends...just very few friends. It seemed, when we made an effort to be like everyone else, have a cirlce of friends we saw, etc...people just let us down, over and over again. We've come to understand, that there is A LOT about the culture of our people, here in this country, that just doesn't jive with who we are at our most core level. So, we have friends...we really do, just a VERY small circle.