I am so worried. How can I stop?

[BelovedK]

It is normal, isn't it? I just keep thinking of the m/c risk for a woman my age I had an early loss in February, and I still remember seeing the BFN after all of the BFPs. I waited a while to retest, and my symptoms went away, and then the BFN and then the bleeding

I am afraid to be too excited (but it is too late) I think I will take another HPT tomorrow. I wonder if I should? Maybe a digital. I can't help but think of that snow white FRER after the loss.

I am tempted to take a test today, not with FMU, but am afraid that the line will be lighter and I will not know what to do.

aarrgghh! I hate this part, just let me start feeling weird. Once I have symptoms it will be better (though the m/c risk will still be with me)

A wave of tiredness just hit me, that's a good sign , right?

Forgive my rambling

[1babysmom]

I think it's normal to be very worried after losing a baby. I never got BFN's with my losses, but I just started bleeding and that was it. I still get very anxious whenever I get any sort of crampy feelings or feel "wet" down there at all, and I just remember that sudden "empty" feeling when I knew I was losing the babies so vividly.

I have a difficult time with it on the opposite end of the age issue. My miscarriages were my first 3 pregnancies and I was very young at the time (19-21). I felt very "broken". We have also had to "try" to get pregnant for a year and a half with each baby before this one, so along with the fear of losing a baby, I feel like once I do it's going to take at least a year to get pregnant again.

Gah...didn't mean to go off on a tangent...but you're not alone! I'm not quite as worried anymore, like I said in another post, I just get kinda numb. I worry when I let my thoughts get away with me, but God is good and always comforts me and gives me a peace about things.

[skeeter30]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way! I just want you to know you are not alone and I think it is normal to be feeling this way especially after being through what you have. A lot of people your age do go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. Try to stay as positive as you can. It is still pretty early and I read in the book,"what to expect when you are expecting." That it is normal not to be having too many symptoms yet! The book says that it's most likely that you will start having more symptoms around week 6. I hope this will help you a little. have you checked out any books yet?? That might also be helpful to answer some of your questions. I know everything is going to be fine for you!! I hope that you start to feel a little more confident that everything is going to be ok soon. Good luck!

[lucy_v]

I know how you feel, Beloved. It sucks, but I think it's normal. Like 1babysmom, I didn't get BFNs with my m/c, I just started spotting. So I'm reliving that moment each time I pee.

My symptoms are mostly vague at this point, I think. Although my Mom said the fact that I'm not interested in any food is a form of nausea. I dunno... I've read other DDCs though, and lots of women have no symptoms for a while. It's still so early for us, and having few or intermittent symptoms isn't reassuring, especially after having a loss and being older. It's also hard to stop worrying when we read about others' early losses here. I'm not sure how to stop worrying. But yes, I think fatigue is a good sign.

[Charmie981]

Beloved, when you figure out how to stop worrying, let me know. I think I'll feel better when I see a little HB, and even better when I have a baby kicking me all night long. But for now...I'm just freaked out. My history lends itself to freaking out!

I plan to take a HPT every other day or maybe I'll back off to once a week until my u/s, which will be around 6 weeks, so I may not even get the reassurance I want at that appointment...I may have a week of worrying b/c there wasn't anything visible yet.

Sigh. It never ends, does it?

[foxyBFer]

i understand your fears as i live with them daily. i have suffered 2 losses in the last year and have been TTC #2 for almost 2 years. it has been a long road for me and to know i'm pg again after all i've been through? well...i could've written your post.

my best friend suggested i start envisioning the baby thriving and growing and to think only positive healthy baby thoughts. i'm going to try it. however, i think i'll feel so much better seeing that little heartbeat. right?

yes, a wave of tiredness is a fantastic sign! i've been a complete lazy-butt with how tired i am. at least we'll all be in this together and can lean on one another as we push through each day. hang in there!! lots and lots of sticky vibes!

[Kikelet]

Hey mama, :s::.

Just like a lot of us are sayin', try to stay positive and be good to yourself. I totally understand how you feel. As difficult as this time is for you, maybe it would be better to test less? If you still need the reassurance, I understand. I'm actually pretty scared right now because my cramping has been so severe, but the doctor thinks everything is fine. I'm trying to let go and leave it up to whoever/whatever is in charge of this little life besides me. Maybe part of being pregnant is teaching us to let go of fear so that we can go on to happily carry and deliver our babies with faith in the way things work out. That's just what I've been reading lately and it's helped a lot.

Being tired is a great sign, too! You'll definitely be in my thoughts.

[BelovedK]

I tested again and the line was really dark, so for the moment i felt a bit better

I am still struggling with it though. I just hate the m/s, but at least when it starts I will know I am definitely pregnant.

Maybe until I hear the HB, i can test every other day to keep reminding myself I am pregnant

[whozeyermamma]

The thing that I try to use to keep me sane is to remember all the times I worried with DD. I remember being OBSESSED with ectopic pregnancy. No symptoms, no reason to suspect it - but I was absolutely convinced.

Then I fretted about m/c, then down's, then birth trauma. After she was born I worried about failure to thrive, SIDS, etc, etc, etc.

When I start to feel anxious I ask myself: Will worrying prevent me from having a m/c? Nope. If I have a m/c, will I feel better because I worried? Nope.

I'm also trying to let the universe do what it will. My mantra is "lotus blossom on the stream," the river will take me where it goes; I can't change the course of the water.

Also - and this is tricky because you don't want to feel guilty for being anxious - but I think there is something to negative energy.

I remember when good friends were going through a very rough spot in their marriage and I was really anxious about it - thinking all the time about whether they'd divorce, what that would mean for them, their kid, our tight group.

Then I realized all the negative energy I was putting out into the universe, and I started meditating light, love and healing for them. Not sure if it did any good, but it made ME feel better.

Anyway - sorry for the long rambling post! Hope we all feel better soon!

[Newby]

I understand

I to have experienced a loss and I even waiting over a year to start trying because I was so crushed by the M/C. I'm 4 weeks and 3 days right now and even today I felt like my symptoms dropped off which sparked my anxiety. It's hard not to worry because after a loss you can think back and remember things that should've triggered you to know you were having a M/C and now anytime I feel anything remotely like that...I automatically assume I'm going to miscarry again. I just can't wait for my first appt (8 weeks) and hopefully that will put my mind at ease a little.

[MrsReady2bMama]

Just wanted to say, me too! Just got my BFP less than an hour ago and already worrying It's impossible not to! I'm also going with the whole positive-energy thing. It worked to help me conceive, so I'm hoping it helps the baby stick!!

Incidentally, I had a loss in March, from a Feb pregnancy -- I think I remember you from the Nov DDC?

This is the sticky one for both of us mama!! Glad to hear your test today was nice and dark

[BelovedK]

Yes, sticky vibes for us all

I knbow I should be enjoying this early part when there is no m/s yet, I think I will try that mantra

Thanks mamas


(welcome Newby )

[Dov'sMom]

I know exactly what you mean! I have no symptoms whatsoever so it is very hard to believe I am still pregnant -- to trust that nothing bad is happening inside. With my first pregnancy, my breasts were very sore the first 4-5 weeks, and I was constantly poking or prodding them to feel the reassuring ache. When the soreness went away, I freaked out! Now, because I am still breastfeeding, there's nothing there at all. I am grateful that I don't get morning sickness, really I am, but I do wish there was some overt symptom to reassure me.

I would just keep testing every day, but I used my last peestick to get my BFP, and I feel silly spending money on what is ultimately a crutch.

I made my first appointment for a sono for 3.5 weeks from now and the first ob/gyn for the following week because I wanted to get a really accurate due date, but I keep fighting the urge to pick up the phone and beg for a sono tomorrow.

[mamainspain]

Hang in there! I know exactly how you feel. I had a m/c before dd and with that pregnancy I was OBSESSED. I was so worried all the time. I had very few symptoms too, so that only added to the worry.

Of course, I have a healthy and happy 15 month old. Everything went well. IT's true what whozeyermamma said. The worry doesn't help. I wish it was just easier to control!!!

Sending you peaceful vibes!!

[helianthus]

I am an obsessive worrier. DH doesn't worry much, though he's worrying more about the little bean than I've seen him worry before. It's overwhelmed us, though, and we decided we need to step back.

I've been meditating, breathing, and trying to remember that worrying (in itself) does not help. It's okay to worry, it's okay to be scared, but it's also okay to let go and trust that things will work out. Letting go will not cause bad things to happen, I tell myself.

I'm not a particularly religious person, but lately I've also been reading the Bible for some comfort. I imagine many religious texts would have the same effect.

Good luck, everyone, and BelovedK. I'm glad we're on this nine-month journey together.

[DocsNemesis]

Its normal. I've only had one loss, which wasnt even mine (it was an attempted surrogacy and the IP's turned out to be total liers, so I was actually semi happy it happened, as bad as that sounds), so I can't compare at all. Yet, I still get worried in the begining! Any cramping or feeling of wetness and its like "oh no...." I'm sure itll get better as you get farther along though! *hugs*

Btw, werent you in my last due date club Charmie?!

[Charmie981]

Originally Posted by DocsNemesis

Btw, werent you in my last due date club Charmie?!

Yes ma'am, I was!

[sarahr]

I think it's normal, but like you I do my best to control it. I had an early m/c before conceiving my DD, so all through first trimester, I worried about losing her. Then for the rest of pregnancy I worried about how she was doing. Then after she was born I worried about whether she was developing "right" and whether I was parenting her "right." It took away from my enjoyment of pregnancy and babyhood. I'm determined not to let my worries take over this pregnancy, but it's very, very hard.

All that to say, I understand.

[BelovedK]

Thank you I am trying so hard not to worry. I had actually gotten to the point where I was not worrying as much (two more + HPTs ) and even was feeling pregnant a little more yesterday, but today when I woke up, my boobs weren't hurting :-/ I am now sooo worried, it reminds me of what happened with my early loss, except this time I think the baby has implanted better, I had implasntation bleeding, and I didn't with the last one.

Has this happened to anyone else? Does this symptom come and go?