I really need to get this out of my system.. I'm FUMING.
I met a pregnant woman at Babies-R-Us today while browsing with DP. We were both looking at strollers and car seats. We got on the topic of how I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I had done a TON of research on car seats. I said that I'm a doula and I'm just wired to research stuff like crazy. She was THRILLED to hear that I was a doula and told me how badly she wanted someone there, just in case her baby came before her husband, who will arrive in a week. She's due in two weeks, BTW. I said I'd be happy to attend her birth and that we should talk about it more. I had my cards handy and gave her my number, too. THEN her friend got involved in the convo...
The PG lady was telling me about how she was very middle of the road.. She has midwife and doula friends, but none around here. She and her husband are going to Africa after the bay is born for some sort of work. She then said that her OB/GYN told her that he doesn't want her to do a birth plan, OR have a doula. The friend then said, and I sh*t you not,
"I cried when I was pregnant with my first baby. I had this great OB, but towards the end of the pregnancy, I wanted a doula. He told me that if I hired a doula, he WOULD QUIT SERVICES WITH ME. I was so scared that I didn't have a doula and ended up with a cesarean."
I just about lost it. I could not believe that any OB would say that. I told the ladies flat out that I thought that attitude was so detrimental to women and their babies. Women have been helping women through labor for centuries, and it's in our nature to want to nurture and protect other women, ESPECIALLY during such a sacred time. The PG lady said that if she decided to have me attend her birth that I could go with her to her OB appt. on Tuesday to speak with the doctor. The same doctor who said "Birth plans don't work and they only hurt the mother and baby, and I don't really like doulas. Besides, there will be nurses there to check up on you." Yeah, every 2-4 HOURS. What woman would want to be left alone during that time?
Put a woman of authority in front of an OB and it's like oil and water. I am just so incredibly disgusted with the state of maternal care in the US. I thank God that I became a doula and educated myself about birth CHOICES, whether I agree with them or not. At least I can make empowered decisions about my birth and my baby, no matter what the outcome is.
I hope I have not offended anyone with my words.. I feel that most of the mommies in here are advocates for informed choices and I thought it would be a good place to get support.
:: pulling hair out ::
I met a pregnant woman at Babies-R-Us today while browsing with DP. We were both looking at strollers and car seats. We got on the topic of how I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I had done a TON of research on car seats. I said that I'm a doula and I'm just wired to research stuff like crazy. She was THRILLED to hear that I was a doula and told me how badly she wanted someone there, just in case her baby came before her husband, who will arrive in a week. She's due in two weeks, BTW. I said I'd be happy to attend her birth and that we should talk about it more. I had my cards handy and gave her my number, too. THEN her friend got involved in the convo...
The PG lady was telling me about how she was very middle of the road.. She has midwife and doula friends, but none around here. She and her husband are going to Africa after the bay is born for some sort of work. She then said that her OB/GYN told her that he doesn't want her to do a birth plan, OR have a doula. The friend then said, and I sh*t you not,
"I cried when I was pregnant with my first baby. I had this great OB, but towards the end of the pregnancy, I wanted a doula. He told me that if I hired a doula, he WOULD QUIT SERVICES WITH ME. I was so scared that I didn't have a doula and ended up with a cesarean."
I just about lost it. I could not believe that any OB would say that. I told the ladies flat out that I thought that attitude was so detrimental to women and their babies. Women have been helping women through labor for centuries, and it's in our nature to want to nurture and protect other women, ESPECIALLY during such a sacred time. The PG lady said that if she decided to have me attend her birth that I could go with her to her OB appt. on Tuesday to speak with the doctor. The same doctor who said "Birth plans don't work and they only hurt the mother and baby, and I don't really like doulas. Besides, there will be nurses there to check up on you." Yeah, every 2-4 HOURS. What woman would want to be left alone during that time?
Put a woman of authority in front of an OB and it's like oil and water. I am just so incredibly disgusted with the state of maternal care in the US. I thank God that I became a doula and educated myself about birth CHOICES, whether I agree with them or not. At least I can make empowered decisions about my birth and my baby, no matter what the outcome is.
I hope I have not offended anyone with my words.. I feel that most of the mommies in here are advocates for informed choices and I thought it would be a good place to get support.
:: pulling hair out ::
s mama i am so glad there are people like you!
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that there are OBs like that and that there are so many women who think they have to put up with that kind of treatment 
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