Saw a hearbeat today! Dr. was condescending...

[mamainspain]

Hello everyone! : I'm new to the Mothering forum. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all over the next nine months.
It's pretty early, I know, but I got pregnant before my period ever returned, so I didn't really know how far along I was.

My gynecologist had told me the only way to get pregnant while nursing was to quit nursing. I of course, discarded this misinformation because I knew better. Then two weeks ago, I had decided to start taking Vitex to get my cycle back on track, but wanted to do a pregnancy test just in case. Lo and behold, I'm pregnant! YAY!:

Well, when we went in today, my dr. was so... aarrgh... idiotic. First of all, it seemed that she didn't even believe that I was pregnant. "How do you know??" she asked. Ummm... I took two pregnancy tests, it kills to nurse... I feel like hell warmed up half of the day....

Then, after we saw the heartbeat (YAY!!!) she told me that I had to quit nursing Bella, my dd, IMMEDIATELY, and when I informed her that that wasn't true, and that I had spoken with two lactation consultants (which was a lie, but if I had told her I had read this, she would have rolled her eyes and said something condescending), she made it seem that I was endangering my baby, and that "we'd see" if this baby even makes it. I actually left feeling a little paranoid. (oh, I had one m/c before dd)

Isn't that first appointment supposed to be joyful? I have such a difficult time with the medical profession here. I just feel so alone in my choices because they aren't the conventional Spanish way. I'll have to fight to get what I want this time and it's already exhausting.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant. I hope you all have better first appointments than I did!!

[MrsReady2bMama]

First off, congratulations!!! And how wonderful that you got to see that sweet little heartbeat already!!!

I'm so sorry the MD was so obnoxious. I find it really frustrating when drs are dismissive and rude. You have support here mama! I am truly impressed you are still nursing - nice work!! Your body will let you know what it can handle

Looking forward to spending time with you in this DDC! When are you due?

[xixstar]

congrats on the little one. I'm sorry that your doctor was so rude and not educated about the safety of nursing during normal pregnancies. I'm also nursing a little one and have no plans to stop.

welcome!

[anjanetteopal]

Stinky doctor! She's probably never had anyone actually prove her wrong - go for it! We're nursing, too. *hug*

[Dov'sMom]

My understanding is that if a woman is prone to miscarrying, then nursing in early pregnancy can increase the likelihood. Do you know what caused your first miscarriage?

[mamainspain]

Thanks girls!! I can really use the support. The fact that I'm even nursing a toddler is a bit strange for many people here. According to my dr. I'm due on March 8th, but I'm pretty sure it will be a bit earlier.

Originally Posted by Dov'sMom

My understanding is that if a woman is prone to miscarrying, then nursing in early pregnancy can increase the likelihood. Do you know what caused your first miscarriage?

I think you are right, Dov'sMom. I miscarried at around 6 1/2 weeks, and there was no explanation, which think is really common. Since I've had one viable pregnancy and one miscarriage, I wouldn't say I'm "prone" to miscarrying. I feel really calm with this pregnancy, and I sincerely don't think the nursing is harming this baby. Sometimes you've just got to go with your gut!

[Mrsboyko]

DDC Crashing. I was due last March (DS was born 2/28). I nursed till October, so like 20 weeks. By that point I was in near constant pain and was getting creepie crawile feeling s while nursing, so we ended it. My OB gave me the same line becasue I have had 2 m/c (one while nursing), but obviously it didn't prove true for me. Congrats and sorry the doc wasn't as joyful as you are. Just remember, the only way someone can affect your mood is if you let them. Forget about him, you are doing great.

[Molliejo]

I nursed all through my last pregnancy and had people telling me my baby would come early b/c of it. I ended up being about 11 days over my due date.

That doctor sounds like a twit.

Congrats, mama!

[DoulaVallere]

Congratulations!!!

Wow your doc sounds like a real winner... Is there anyway you can transfer care to a midwife or some other dr who is more "crunchy"? I couldn't imagine going 9 months in the care of someone so obviously misinformed.

I'm still nursing my 20mo old. The only contraindications to nursing during pregnancy are 1) if you've had a history of multiple miscarriages or 2) you are at risk of preterm labor (ie, pregnant with multiples, have been dilating/effacing early, have a circlage, etc)

[MrsMcCullen07]

Congrats on the new baby and we share a due date .. and only you can make the decision to continue to nurse its not like they can force you to stop just make sure you make a good informed decision that is right for you and your family

[mum5]

:::CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!:::

Good for you to be nursing your baby, I am sorry that you did not have a great bonding first visit with your Dr. She seems very medically inclined ( well she is in that profession!) but I hope you know what I mean. What makes me make a comment like that is her comment on how you could possibly know that you are pregnant! DOH!!

Anyway, I hope that you can maybe find someone else who you would be more comfortable with to help care for you during this pg.

[1babysmom]

Oh I hate hearing about doctors like that! There is absolutely no proof that nursing during pregnancy causes miscarriage. Unless you know you have an irritable uterus or are prone to PTL or something, there's no reason NOT to nurse!! I was nervous about nursing through my last pregnancy because I've had several miscarriages myself, but once I did some reading I realized I don't have much to worry about.

You've got lots of nursing mama's here to support you, too!!!

[mamainspain]

:You are so wonderful! Thank you for your support.:

I'm in a bit of an interesting situation here. My current gynecologist (the one who made all those comments) is the obgyn who delivered my dd. She was actually 100% better than my previous obgyn if you can believe that! I wanted a natural, unmedicated birth, but here in Valencia, it is really REALLY difficult to get that. Most obgyns would laugh in your face if you started talking about a birth plan. It's customary to induce labor and then to be hooked up to fetal monitors the entire time. If you say you don't want the epidural, they look at you like you're snorting crack...

Since I wanted a stress-free birth, I caved and ended up just letting them poke and prod me. It wasn't what I wanted. The epidural was terrible! It made me shake and didn't work on one side...

Anyway, this time around I want my natural birth, but I'm having a very difficult time figuring out how. My options are to have a homebirth (which I'd have to pay for, and it makes me a little nervous) go to the birthing center (the only one around here... it's an hour and a half away and I had a very quick labor last time) or try to find a public hospital that will support a natural birth. There's one, but we don't live in the appropriate zone. It's so so frustrating, but I'm doing what I can to change doctors and find a midwife or obgyn who is supportive of natural births. AGAIN, the mentality here is that you're taking a step back in time if you want a natural birth. AAARGH. FRUSTRATING!

[ursusarctos]

Originally Posted by mamainspain

Anyway, this time around I want my natural birth, but I'm having a very difficult time figuring out how. My options are to have a homebirth (which I'd have to pay for, and it makes me a little nervous) go to the birthing center (the only one around here... it's an hour and a half away and I had a very quick labor last time) or try to find a public hospital that will support a natural birth. There's one, but we don't live in the appropriate zone. It's so so frustrating, but I'm doing what I can to change doctors and find a midwife or obgyn who is supportive of natural births. AGAIN, the mentality here is that you're taking a step back in time if you want a natural birth. AAARGH. FRUSTRATING!

I'm SO sorry you have to deal with that! I know what you mean. I am in Finland and, though they are more respectful of you if you choose and stand up for less intervention in the hospital, the general attitude is very similar to what you described. There are only a couple places in the whole country where you can have a really natural birth (birth centers attached to hospitals) and they are trying to close one of them down, of course Though midwives attend most births, they are very much medicalized and have to hand over care to a doctor at the slightest sign of something not routine. Only a handful attend homebirths and they're really hard to find. And of course most people think if you don't want to give birth in the hospital you're insane and selfish and trying to kill your baby Sigh. Well, I hope you find a way to get your natural birth and don't get too bogged down by your clueless OB
I know you said it makes you a little nervous, but if homebirth is an option, and you live close to a hospital, and your pregnancy is normal, I would really suggest doing some reading and soul searching about it. You could avoid fighting with the hospital personnel about interventions that way, and possibly avoid having to deal with your OB for the next 9 months.
Whatever you decide to do, power to you! You can do this, and nobody can MAKE you do anything you don't feel good with.

[mamainspain]

Originally Posted by ursusarctos

I am in Finland and, though they are more respectful of you if you choose and stand up for less intervention in the hospital, the general attitude is very similar to what you described. There are only a couple places in the whole country where you can have a really natural birth (birth centers attached to hospitals) and they are trying to close one of them down, of course Though midwives attend most births, they are very much medicalized and have to hand over care to a doctor at the slightest sign of something not routine. Only a handful attend homebirths and they're really hard to find. And of course most people think if you don't want to give birth in the hospital you're insane and selfish and trying to kill your baby

Ursusarctos, that really surprises me about Finland! I would have thought that they would be really progressive. It sounds so similar to Spain (at least in Valencia... I'm sure there are more choices in Barcelona and, perhaps, Madrid.) What are your birthing plans??

[mum5]

That actually really surprises me about both countries! I am from the UK, but live in the US,and have done for 15 years, so had all my children here, and my Brit friends think that I am nuts for having an unmedicated birth in a birth centre, so I guess there are crunchies and main stream people everywhere.

Good luck!!

[HippieChristianMum]

I was nursing my 11 month old when I conceived and then lost a baby, and was still nursing my 12 month old (I conceived the next cycle after I miscarried) when I conceived again. I decided that I would continue to nurse dd, because I didn't think it had caused me to miscarry. DD is now 3 and still nursing, and ds is 18 months and nursing, and I am pregnant again.

People were concerned that the baby would suffer because dd was "taking nutrients" away from the baby. Ds was actually 1 1/2 pounds HEAVIER than dd at birth.

[bc1995]

Congrats!! Sorry for the pain of an OB. I have nursed through two complete pregnancies, was still nursing when we lost our daughter Jordan last fall (I know it had nothing to do with nursing!), and I am still nursing now and will nurse though this new pregnancy. I have always felt like it helped my children to bond and not have jealousy issues with the new baby. Sure nursing through pregnancy can be tough, but I am so glad I have always made that choice! Good luck!

[ursusarctos]

Originally Posted by mamainspain

Ursusarctos, that really surprises me about Finland! I would have thought that they would be really progressive. It sounds so similar to Spain (at least in Valencia... I'm sure there are more choices in Barcelona and, perhaps, Madrid.) What are your birthing plans??

Yeah, they are less progressive here than pretty much any other Nordic country, not to mention the Netherlands. Even the UK and Germany are ahead (you can have homebirths on the national health plan there). I think they may be more respectful of birth plans here than in Valencia, and there is a very small but vocal group of natural birth advocates, but most people still give birth with epidurals, pitocin, episiotomy, the whole shebang (and this is with nurse-midwives ). It's just what people expect.
They also have a really weird prenatal care system here, so that you go to your local health clinic for all your appointments and you just get whatever doctor or nurse happens to be on shift, and then when you go to give birth at your hospital you get whatever midwife happens to be on shift. Pretty much no continuity of care, and yet lots of prenatal appointments. Really odd. Even homebirth midwives only come to births, they don't provide prenatal care.
So I will go to the normal prenatal appointments (though I will probably skip a good number of them, I don't see the point in going every few weeks if the point isn't a midwife/OB getting to know me and my body) and try my hardest to find a homebirth midwife. If the baby is breech/twins/before 37 weeks I will just have to go to the hospital. Fortunately there is one close by that is known for being slightly less "medical" so I might have some luck getting a natural birth there.

Originally Posted by ella-makes-3

That actually really surprises me about both countries! I am from the UK, but live in the US,and have done for 15 years, so had all my children here, and my Brit friends think that I am nuts for having an unmedicated birth in a birth centre, so I guess there are crunchies and main stream people everywhere.

So true about your last sentence. Actually the UK seems positively heavenly compared to here - homebirths on the national health plan? Ahhh That (and the Netherlands) must be what people are thinking of when they say that in Europe natural birth is normal. Homebirths don't even have a legal status here - they just don't technically exist

[kxsiven]

Originally Posted by ursusarctos

There are only a couple places in the whole country where you can have a really natural birth (birth centers attached to hospitals) and they are trying to close one of them down, of course Though midwives attend most births, they are very much medicalized

There was just a week a so ago a huge article in Helsingin Sanomat how the finnish union of midwives is talking loudly AGAINST unnecessary pain medication and how they are promoting natural birth. So....? It started a really good newspaper editorial//online discussions about medication&births.

At least here in eastern Finland hospitals no one is making you take medicine if you don't want to and your wishes are respected as much as possible.

One thing that have to remember is that "just yesterday"(around WWII and after) too many babies died since there were no healthcare and people were starving. For example my generation(born 1966) grew up listening stories how pretty much half of the family's babies died to this or that.

This is why most mothers have wanted to give birth in hospital - the new generation moms don't have that link to that time period so they have new attitudes and I am sure homebirths get more common again. I know at least in my hometown there are several midwives who do homebirths.