Originally Posted by lotusdebi
I agreed with other posts in this thread, but picked this one to quote because of the anger behind it. I'm feeling that same anger.
My oldest child has autism and sensory issues. I did not know that when he was an infant and a toddler. I was severely sleep-deprived (often to the point of psychosis) for the first few YEARS of his life because the child never slept. He cried, arched his back, was never comfortable, couldn't stay still, was a difficult nurser, and generally made my life a living hell. There was no such thing as an easy outing with him. But, we had to get out of the house. I had to get out of the house simply so I wouldn't lose my mind and kill us all some days.
Yes. Other than not ever knowing for sure my kiddo is on the spectrum, this was my life! I feel you, mama! your post made me burst into tears, remembering what this was like.
after the age of 12 months my daughter also stopped breathing, turned blue and had seizures at random - went from happy and playing (or cranky and having that tantrum that other shoppers find so annoying, apparently), whatever) to blue, then falling over blue and not breathing with a slow or stopped heartbeat, having a full-on seizure and looking dead for about a minute, to waking up and being groggy. when I was in the store with her? watching her EVERY SECOND terrified it was about to happen. sometimes it did happen, right in the aisle of the Kmart or whatever. all I could do was wait and pray she came back to life again this time. I had nobody to help me and obviously nobody was willing to babysit her, even if I hadn't been too afraid she would die while I was gone to leave her.
I'm sorry, I obviously need to step out of this thread. it occurs to me that that's probably too disturbing for "normal" people. sigh. see, this is why I got so isolated that I became near suicidal when DD was little. People just wanted to sit on their high horses and tell me how much I stunk as a parent, and to give me dirty looks in the store because my child was so "spoiled." BLAH.