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Toddler screaming for over an hour in a store - Page 5

post #81 of 186
Frankly, who really cares what the child's history is or why he was screaming? There were TWO able-bodied parents there. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of pure rudeness and lack of consideration for anyone (including the screaming child). Was the child special needs? Maybe. Who cares, though? I mean, really, TWO parents and one of them couldn't take him out of the store? Did they need something urgently? Maybe. Then grab a few things and get out of the store and stop making everyone, including your own child miserable. I really, highly doubt that one parent can't handle the child alone because I really, highly doubt that both parents are with that child all day long. In most families, someone has to um, go to the bathroom occasionally or go off to one of those pesky jobs that provide money for hour-long shopping expeditions. I have compassion in all sorts of situations but not in this one. It's rude. End of story.
post #82 of 186
After reading this thread I have a hard time believing we're all mothers here! I mean really, do you think this family was enjoying themselves? That this was a pleasant experience?

I haven't ever been in this situation. I'm lucky that my boys have never freaked out in a store. If they did, I guess I'd leave, but then again, I'm by myself so I may have stayed until I was done. I just think as mothers, it's pretty easy for us to all put ourselves in their position.

I admit to feeling brokenhearted when I see a baby crying and the mother doesn't have a sling or some way to hold and comfort him. Or the other day at target I say a maybe 4 week old baby screaming while his parents shopped and I felt very sad for the baby and sad for the parents that they didn't know it's okay to pick up the baby.

We're never going to know exactly what this family's situation was. We can sit here and guess all day but we won't know. It makes some of us (apparently) feel better to judge and others to offer understanding. So much for it takes a village, huh?
post #83 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post

The bottom line is...it doesn't really matter what the situation was...it doesn't really matter what the hidden reasons or non-reasons were behind this annoyance to other shoppers....kindness, it what really matters.
What about kindness to every other shopper or employee in that store?

For those of you with autistic children, I know what it's like, at least from the standpoint of a sibling. My sister was autistic. I grew up with it. I have a huge amount of compassion for parents who have a screaming child in public. But I'm still having an awfully hard time imagining a scenario other than rudeness where two parents would continue to leisurely shop for an hour with a distressed, screaming child (autistic or not).
post #84 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Frankly, who really cares what the child's history is or why he was screaming? There were TWO able-bodied parents there. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of pure rudeness and lack of consideration for anyone (including the screaming child). Was the child special needs? Maybe. Who cares, though? I mean, really, TWO parents and one of them couldn't take him out of the store? Did they need something urgently? Maybe. Then grab a few things and get out of the store and stop making everyone, including your own child miserable. I really, highly doubt that one parent can't handle the child alone because I really, highly doubt that both parents are with that child all day long. In most families, someone has to um, go to the bathroom occasionally or go off to one of those pesky jobs that provide money for hour-long shopping expeditions. I have compassion in all sorts of situations but not in this one. It's rude. End of story.
Really? How about this one?

"The phone rang at 9 in the morning. It was DH's mum. His dad had a stroke. We threw a few basic necessities in the car and drove two hours. But he passed before we got there. We spent the afternoon dealing with all the horrible mechanics of death. We dropped DH's mum back to her house but realized we didn't have anything our toddler would eat there, so we went to the store. It was surreal and we wandered around in the unfamiliar store... DS freaked out but neither of us had the energy to really cope."

Ok, that probably wasn't the case here but seriously - you just. don't. know. what is going on with other people's lives.
post #85 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusdebi View Post
I agreed with other posts in this thread, but picked this one to quote because of the anger behind it. I'm feeling that same anger.

My oldest child has autism and sensory issues. I did not know that when he was an infant and a toddler. I was severely sleep-deprived (often to the point of psychosis) for the first few YEARS of his life because the child never slept. He cried, arched his back, was never comfortable, couldn't stay still, was a difficult nurser, and generally made my life a living hell. There was no such thing as an easy outing with him. But, we had to get out of the house. I had to get out of the house simply so I wouldn't lose my mind and kill us all some days.
Yes. Other than not ever knowing for sure my kiddo is on the spectrum, this was my life! I feel you, mama! your post made me burst into tears, remembering what this was like.

after the age of 12 months my daughter also stopped breathing, turned blue and had seizures at random - went from happy and playing (or cranky and having that tantrum that other shoppers find so annoying, apparently), whatever) to blue, then falling over blue and not breathing with a slow or stopped heartbeat, having a full-on seizure and looking dead for about a minute, to waking up and being groggy. when I was in the store with her? watching her EVERY SECOND terrified it was about to happen. sometimes it did happen, right in the aisle of the Kmart or whatever. all I could do was wait and pray she came back to life again this time. I had nobody to help me and obviously nobody was willing to babysit her, even if I hadn't been too afraid she would die while I was gone to leave her.


I'm sorry, I obviously need to step out of this thread. it occurs to me that that's probably too disturbing for "normal" people. sigh. see, this is why I got so isolated that I became near suicidal when DD was little. People just wanted to sit on their high horses and tell me how much I stunk as a parent, and to give me dirty looks in the store because my child was so "spoiled." BLAH.
post #86 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Frankly, who really cares what the child's history is or why he was screaming? There were TWO able-bodied parents there. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of pure rudeness and lack of consideration for anyone (including the screaming child).
Wow -- you can tell that the adults were both able-bodied based on the OP? I can't, because I know that some disabilities are hidden. You can tell that the two adults were the child's parents based on the OP? I can't, because I know that not all adults near a child are related to said child.

Yes, it would have been considerate if one of those adults had taken the child out of the store for the benefit of other shoppers. But there may have been a reason that this could not happen and we aren't going to know what it is.
post #87 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Frankly, who really cares what the child's history is or why he was screaming? There were TWO able-bodied parents there. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of pure rudeness and lack of consideration for anyone (including the screaming child). Was the child special needs? Maybe. Who cares, though? I mean, really, TWO parents and one of them couldn't take him out of the store? Did they need something urgently? Maybe. Then grab a few things and get out of the store and stop making everyone, including your own child miserable. I really, highly doubt that one parent can't handle the child alone because I really, highly doubt that both parents are with that child all day long. In most families, someone has to um, go to the bathroom occasionally or go off to one of those pesky jobs that provide money for hour-long shopping expeditions. I have compassion in all sorts of situations but not in this one. It's rude. End of story.
Did you read my post? Seriously, if one of us tried to take her over to a corner to calm her down, it would only make it worse. I'm not going to make my dd even more upset by seperating her from one of her parents. If both of us are around, we have to be right with her and she gets very upset. This is a child who has a total melt-down every.single.day when her dad leaves for work. It is not that we can't handle her on our own, it is just that by doing so (in the store situation) it would make her even miserable.

I used to feel just like you do and I was one of those people who glared and thought evil things about parents shopping with crying children. but after Lilly, all I feel is compassion, because I know what it is like to be in that situation.
post #88 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs joe bubby View Post
I agree so much.

I have extreme noise sensitives as well as asperger's myself. If I were the OP in this scenario, while I wouldn't have approached the parents in any way, I would have been one of those awful people who would have had to leave my cart and take my business elsewhere. I simply wouldn't have been able to tolerate the screaming without having a serious, meltdown that might have caused me to not be able to leave my house again for awhile. It wouldn't have been as simple as that I could have just run into the next store and completed my shopping. : I'm reading many stories that were come up with up about how these were possibly not the parents and were both disabled and could not carry the child, someone had just died, all while the disabled child is teething and has the flu, etc etc etc. But no one seems to come up with anything about how much others in the store could be affected by listening to the poor kid screaming in the store for an hour. No matter the child's situation, please think of others and perhaps that there is more to their story too. Maybe there is more going on than them just being rude or "disgusting".
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Frankly, who really cares what the child's history is or why he was screaming? There were TWO able-bodied parents there. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of pure rudeness and lack of consideration for anyone (including the screaming child). Was the child special needs? Maybe. Who cares, though? I mean, really, TWO parents and one of them couldn't take him out of the store? Did they need something urgently? Maybe. Then grab a few things and get out of the store and stop making everyone, including your own child miserable. I really, highly doubt that one parent can't handle the child alone because I really, highly doubt that both parents are with that child all day long. In most families, someone has to um, go to the bathroom occasionally or go off to one of those pesky jobs that provide money for hour-long shopping expeditions. I have compassion in all sorts of situations but not in this one. It's rude. End of story.
Yes to both of these.

I also get horrible headaches from loud screaming/flashing lights/all kinds of things. I also have had a VERY high-needs child, and a child w/Aspergers. Not like I don't understand high needs kids or how hard it is to deal with, AND the looks that one can get because of it. I also get prolonged visual migraine auras that prevent me from driving (happened too many times while driving and almost wrecked w/my kids in the car), so for long distances (like to town since I live in the country), my dh or 20 yo dd drives. We all have our stories. We all have our own issues to deal with. My high needs child was that way until she was 3. My Asperger's kid is MUCH more needy now (and at times can do very embarassing things) than she was when younger. When my high needs toddler screamed in a store or restaraunt and we couldn't calm her down, we left. Period. It was very common for us to go out to eat and my dh, who is a very fast eater, would scarf down his meal and take her for a walk while I got to eat in peace. Respect and consideration for others is what we give and what we expect in return. Of course we understand that kids are kids, and sometimes they freak out. Of course I don't think that means the child is necessarily misbehaving, just merely being a child. Of course we have compassion for those situations. That's why I didn't rudely walk up to the parents and ask them to leave. I know how I would react should someone have done that to me. They didn't have compassion or respect for the other shoppers or for their child,

I too hope that someone reads this and realizes that their actions (and the actions of their children) can and do affect others.
post #89 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2 View Post
Yes to both of these.

I also get horrible headaches from loud screaming/flashing lights/all kinds of things. I also have had a VERY high-needs child, and a child w/Aspergers. Not like I don't understand high needs kids or how hard it is to deal with, AND the looks that one can get because of it. I also get prolonged visual migraine auras that prevent me from driving (happened too many times while driving and almost wrecked w/my kids in the car), so for long distances (like to town since I live in the country), my dh or 20 yo dd drives. We all have our stories. We all have our own issues to deal with. My high needs child was that way until she was 3. My Asperger's kid is MUCH more needy now (and at times can do very embarassing things) than she was when younger. When my high needs toddler screamed in a store or restaraunt and we couldn't calm her down, we left. Period. It was very common for us to go out to eat and my dh, who is a very fast eater, would scarf down his meal and take her for a walk while I got to eat in peace. Respect and consideration for others is what we give and what we expect in return. Of course we understand that kids are kids, and sometimes they freak out. Of course I don't think that means the child is necessarily misbehaving, just merely being a child. Of course we have compassion for those situations. That's why I didn't rudely walk up to the parents and ask them to leave. I know how I would react should someone have done that to me. They didn't have compassion or respect for the other shoppers or for their child,

I too hope that someone reads this and realizes that their actions (and the actions of their children) can and do affect others.
Much respect for your personal situation and the needs of your children -- but you do acknowledge that other people sometimes have issues where they simply cannot leave? for example, the single mom who has no food in the house, just got her food stamps today and HAS to be in the store getting dinner or her kid will go hungry? sometimes you can't leave. we are all going to inconvenience each other or even ruin each others' shopping experiences, or give each other sensory issues or panic attacks when we are doing our best to meet our own children's needs. I'm not saying I didn't leave a store with my kid when I thought I could get away with it. But surely you wouldn't expect a single mom in that situation, or a family who has to take the bus to the store in the snow etc. to leave every single time? I know my case is unusual, but at the time I'd have inflicted anything on anyone to avoid my DD having a blue spell. I almost never left the house, so if I was in a store with her I HAD to be there. leaving, not really a viable option but I tried.

again, much respect to you and all you are dealing with on a daily basis. I think we probably aren;t very far apart in our views, really. I guess I just want people to leave open the option that sometimes, a crying kid in the store is just a fact of life and the parents may not be able to do a darn thing about it. sucks, but true.
post #90 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2 View Post
Yes to both of these.

I also get horrible headaches from loud screaming/flashing lights/all kinds of things. I also have had a VERY high-needs child, and a child w/Aspergers. Not like I don't understand high needs kids or how hard it is to deal with, AND the looks that one can get because of it. I also get prolonged visual migraine auras that prevent me from driving (happened too many times while driving and almost wrecked w/my kids in the car), so for long distances (like to town since I live in the country), my dh or 20 yo dd drives. We all have our stories. We all have our own issues to deal with. My high needs child was that way until she was 3. My Asperger's kid is MUCH more needy now (and at times can do very embarassing things) than she was when younger. When my high needs toddler screamed in a store or restaraunt and we couldn't calm her down, we left. Period. It was very common for us to go out to eat and my dh, who is a very fast eater, would scarf down his meal and take her for a walk while I got to eat in peace. Respect and consideration for others is what we give and what we expect in return. Of course we understand that kids are kids, and sometimes they freak out. Of course I don't think that means the child is necessarily misbehaving, just merely being a child. Of course we have compassion for those situations. That's why I didn't rudely walk up to the parents and ask them to leave. I know how I would react should someone have done that to me. They didn't have compassion or respect for the other shoppers or for their child,

I too hope that someone reads this and realizes that their actions (and the actions of their children) can and do affect others.
Yes, I do realize that my crying child makes other people unhappy, but in my situation, what the heck was I supposed to do?! We couldn't leave, we couldn't take her outside, we had to get food, and one of us taking her to the side one only mean that she would scream louder as she tried to run back to the other parent. Short of buying her every item she pointed to, nothing was going to make her stop.

I've also been the person with what looks like a screaming newborn (in reality just a tiny, tiny older baby) looking at my stupid watch while feeling mortified and like a horrible mother. It may have looked like I was ignoring my child but in my mind I was debating on picking her up and making her scream more or leaving her alone and letting all the people around me think I'm a neglectful mother. My dh was working two jobs, I had to do basically everything by myself. I got the glares, I got the people trying to get me to pick her up, and then I got the people who acted like I was lying when I informed them that she was 8 months old and picking her up only made it worse. That first year was hell on earth.
post #91 of 186
I don't think I'm entitled to shop anywhere without hearing children cry. All sorts of things happen when I'm shopping that bother me. I've found myself quite disturbed by adults who are unaccompanied by kids. The fact is, they all have as much right to be there as I do. It's a grocery store. It's loud. All sorts of people are there. Things happen. I'm not entitled to a peacefully zen shopping environment every time.

I don't enjoy hearing kids cry, who does? I'd be willing to bet the people most disturbed by it were those parents.

Reading this has made me so sad.
post #92 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverWillow View Post
Much respect for your personal situation and the needs of your children -- but you do acknowledge that other people sometimes have issues where they simply cannot leave? for example, the single mom who has no food in the house, just got her food stamps today and HAS to be in the store getting dinner or her kid will go hungry? sometimes you can't leave. we are all going to inconvenience each other or even ruin each others' shopping experiences, or give each other sensory issues or panic attacks when we are doing our best to meet our own children's needs. I'm not saying I didn't leave a store with my kid when I thought I could get away with it. But surely you wouldn't expect a single mom in that situation, or a family who has to take the bus to the store in the snow etc. to leave every single time? I know my case is unusual, but at the time I'd have inflicted anything on anyone to avoid my DD having a blue spell. I almost never left the house, so if I was in a store with her I HAD to be there. leaving, not really a viable option but I tried.

again, much respect to you and all you are dealing with on a daily basis. I think we probably aren;t very far apart in our views, really. I guess I just want people to leave open the option that sometimes, a crying kid in the store is just a fact of life and the parents may not be able to do a darn thing about it. sucks, but true.

Of course I acknowledge that sometimes there are situations where you have to be there. I'm not a rude or horrible person. I guess this is one of those 'you'd have to have been there' situations. I was not posting about a situation such as you mentioned. The parents were very well-dressed, the wife dripping w/gold and diamonds, very expensive bag/shoes, the man also dressed to a t (and no I'm not saying that they couldn't have just gotten laid off and were on food stamps, but really....), very stylish hair, nails all done, etc... There is not a bus line in my small town. It was not raining, nor does it often snow here. So really, does it make me such a bad person for seeing how they were dressed, what types of foods and products they were buying (obvious party foods/supplies), and then getting peeved that they were so inconsiderate? And she was obviously not a single mom, or at least alone. There was a perfectly able-bodied man there with her. *That's* why I was upset and it bothered me so much that I even posted here.

I didn't post some of these details in my OP because I just didn't think it would make any difference, and probably still doesn't. I am very glad to see that at least some mamas see where I was coming from. I'm sorry to those of you who my being bothered by this got offended. That was not the intention of the OP.
post #93 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magella View Post
I don't think I'm entitled to shop anywhere without hearing children cry. All sorts of things happen when I'm shopping that bother me. I've found myself quite disturbed by adults who are unaccompanied by kids. The fact is, they all have as much right to be there as I do. It's a grocery store. It's loud. All sorts of people are there. Things happen. I'm not entitled to a peacefully zen shopping environment every time.

I don't enjoy hearing kids cry, who does? I'd be willing to bet the people most disturbed by it were those parents.

Reading this has made me so sad.
Word.

Adults bother me more mostly. The cellphone screaming (talking) constantly so I can't hear myself think, the cart bumper, the person who should have bathed, whatever. Shopping was and has never been my spa day.

And the clarification by the OP is probably that these people were jerks, but from so many posts and so much misery from moms about leaving the house, I think we all have learned a bit more compassion in general.

That's a good thing.
post #94 of 186
The judgment on this thread. :

These thread always make me laugh. You got a poster venting about whatever not necessarily saying the parents are evil or horrible or need to be shot but being judgmental, yes. We're human, it's what we do. But then you get the real judgment- "how dare you judge! Why I think I am going to sit here and judge you harshly for judging." and that is different how?.... And it often gets blown out of proportion as if this mom said in her OP these people should have their child ripped away from them.

Quote:
After reading this thread I have a hard time believing we're all mothers here!


We can't just leave it at "I disagree. This could be a different way to look at it _____"? Why the personal comments about the posters who are suspicious/annoyed by the behavior in the OP? We can't just give the benefit of the doubt in both cases and look on both sides?

I dunno I just think maybe we should all take a step back and really think about the people involved on all sides.
post #95 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2 View Post
Of course I acknowledge that sometimes there are situations where you have to be there. I'm not a rude or horrible person. I guess this is one of those 'you'd have to have been there' situations. I was not posting about a situation such as you mentioned. The parents were very well-dressed, the wife dripping w/gold and diamonds, very expensive bag/shoes, the man also dressed to a t (and no I'm not saying that they couldn't have just gotten laid off and were on food stamps, but really....), very stylish hair, nails all done, etc... There is not a bus line in my small town. It was not raining, nor does it often snow here. So really, does it make me such a bad person for seeing how they were dressed, what types of foods and products they were buying (obvious party foods/supplies), and then getting peeved that they were so inconsiderate? And she was obviously not a single mom, or at least alone. There was a perfectly able-bodied man there with her. *That's* why I was upset and it bothered me so much that I even posted here.
totally NOT trying to argue with you. and maybe they were just weenies. buuuut... brainstorming it, for all we know you were watching a woman who is a domestic violence victim shopping for some stupid party her husband was making her host for his work, and dealing with the kid would have resulted in violence toward her or the kid later. The other day in Some-Random-Mart I overheard a man reprimanding his wife for SPEAKING WHEN NOT SPOKEN TO. he wasn't kidding. scary! acting nonchalant in public is often a required part of covering up domestic violence in order for a woman to keep herself and her children safe. it may not be as unlikely as one would think in the situation you saw -- DV is horrifyingly common in all class levels.

some people do ignore their kids, but you really, truly never know what's up just by looking.
post #96 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
Did you read my post? Seriously, if one of us tried to take her over to a corner to calm her down, it would only make it worse. I'm not going to make my dd even more upset by seperating her from one of her parents. If both of us are around, we have to be right with her and she gets very upset. This is a child who has a total melt-down every.single.day when her dad leaves for work. It is not that we can't handle her on our own, it is just that by doing so (in the store situation) it would make her even miserable.

I used to feel just like you do and I was one of those people who glared and thought evil things about parents shopping with crying children. but after Lilly, all I feel is compassion, because I know what it is like to be in that situation.
Who said anything about taking her to a corner? I said take her outside. And I still stand by it. If I saw you and your partner wandering the store for at least an hour while your child screamed hysterically, and you both seemed like normal, functioning adults holding a conversation (like the OP heard), then, yep, I'd judge. And I rarely judge people with screaming kids in stores. I only get judgemental when I see someone being incredibly inconsiderate of either their child or every single other person in that store in really rare circumstances like the OP's. Parent by herself with screaming kid? Nope, I don't judge that (unless I see parent mocking the child or something similar). Parent who seems zoned out pushing screaming child through store without interacting with it? I don't judge that. But with two adults who are functional enough to walk and talk normally, I can't imagine the scenario where they both must be in that store together with the screaming child for an hour. For 20 minutes? Sure, I can come up with scenarios for that one - but an entire hour doesn't say to me that the parents were rushing to get some essentials or even rushing to get the week's groceries.
post #97 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2 View Post
Of course I acknowledge that sometimes there are situations where you have to be there. I'm not a rude or horrible person. I guess this is one of those 'you'd have to have been there' situations. I was not posting about a situation such as you mentioned. The parents were very well-dressed, the wife dripping w/gold and diamonds, very expensive bag/shoes, the man also dressed to a t (and no I'm not saying that they couldn't have just gotten laid off and were on food stamps, but really....), very stylish hair, nails all done, etc... There is not a bus line in my small town. It was not raining, nor does it often snow here. So really, does it make me such a bad person for seeing how they were dressed, what types of foods and products they were buying (obvious party foods/supplies), and then getting peeved that they were so inconsiderate? And she was obviously not a single mom, or at least alone. There was a perfectly able-bodied man there with her. *That's* why I was upset and it bothered me so much that I even posted here.

I didn't post some of these details in my OP because I just didn't think it would make any difference, and probably still doesn't. I am very glad to see that at least some mamas see where I was coming from. I'm sorry to those of you who my being bothered by this got offended. That was not the intention of the OP.
Nope, it doesn't make you such a bad person. And I think most people reading this agree with you that subjecting their child and everyone else in the store to that for at least an hour was inconsiderate, at best.

But there are always some people on MDC who somehow feel that they are being judged because they've let their baby cry for an extended period in a store or something. Or because their child is autistic and others just can't tell by looking or something. And really, we all tend to get defensive when we see someone being critical of something and feel like they'd also be critical of us. In reality, though, the situations that people have posted on here about their own children crying in stores strike me in almost all cases (skipped a couple of pages of this thread) as pretty different from what you described. There's a big difference between a couple of frazzled parents frantically trying to grab some needed things and get out of the store and the situation you described. Worlds apart.
post #98 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
The judgment on this thread. :

These thread always make me laugh. You got a poster venting about whatever not necessarily saying the parents are evil or horrible or need to be shot but being judgmental, yes. We're human, it's what we do. But then you get the real judgment- "how dare you judge! Why I think I am going to sit here and judge you harshly for judging." and that is different how?.... And it often gets blown out of proportion as if this mom said in her OP these people should have their child ripped away from them.




We can't just leave it at "I disagree. This could be a different way to look at it _____"? Why the personal comments about the posters who are suspicious/annoyed by the behavior in the OP? We can't just give the benefit of the doubt in both cases and look on both sides?

I dunno I just think maybe we should all take a step back and really think about the people involved on all sides.
Thank you. I was starting to feel bashed for being human.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Who said anything about taking her to a corner? I said take her outside. And I still stand by it. If I saw you and your partner wandering the store for at least an hour while your child screamed hysterically, and you both seemed like normal, functioning adults holding a conversation (like the OP heard), then, yep, I'd judge. And I rarely judge people with screaming kids in stores. I only get judgemental when I see someone being incredibly inconsiderate of either their child or every single other person in that store in really rare circumstances like the OP's. Parent by herself with screaming kid? Nope, I don't judge that (unless I see parent mocking the child or something similar). Parent who seems zoned out pushing screaming child through store without interacting with it? I don't judge that. But with two adults who are functional enough to walk and talk normally, I can't imagine the scenario where they both must be in that store together with the screaming child for an hour. For 20 minutes? Sure, I can come up with scenarios for that one - but an entire hour doesn't say to me that the parents were rushing to get some essentials or even rushing to get the week's groceries.
And thank you. That last part was the way I felt.
post #99 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
Who said anything about taking her to a corner? I said take her outside. And I still stand by it. If I saw you and your partner wandering the store for at least an hour while your child screamed hysterically, and you both seemed like normal, functioning adults holding a conversation (like the OP heard), then, yep, I'd judge. And I rarely judge people with screaming kids in stores. I only get judgemental when I see someone being incredibly inconsiderate of either their child or every single other person in that store in really rare circumstances like the OP's. Parent by herself with screaming kid? Nope, I don't judge that (unless I see parent mocking the child or something similar). Parent who seems zoned out pushing screaming child through store without interacting with it? I don't judge that. But with two adults who are functional enough to walk and talk normally, I can't imagine the scenario where they both must be in that store together with the screaming child for an hour. For 20 minutes? Sure, I can come up with scenarios for that one - but an entire hour doesn't say to me that the parents were rushing to get some essentials or even rushing to get the week's groceries.
It was pouring rain, we couldn't go outside. Someone else suggested taking her to the side or a corner of the store and try to get her to calm down, it wouldn't work, instead it would only make it worse. It was an hour because we were waiting on the car. Talking to her would also make her cry harder, so yes, we were two functioning adults, having a converstation, while our child laid in the buggy and cried.
post #100 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday View Post
There's a big difference between a couple of frazzled parents frantically trying to grab some needed things and get out of the store and the situation you described. Worlds apart.
From the OP:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicky2 View Post
The mom looked frazzled
Doesn't seem worlds apart to me.
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