I have to leave my baby!

[LilMomma83]

I'm so sad...I did agree to work next Thursday before the baby was even born, and then a few days ago found out I also have a mandatory training on Tuesday...so now I will be away from him both nights and he'll barely be 2wks old! He's also not handling a bottle very well (or it could just be that mommy and daddy are bad at giving it to him sense we've never fed such a young baby a bottle before), so I'm really worried about being away for 6-7hrs, especially over an hour from home/daycare.

Everything is so much easier said than done!

[bajamergrrl]

Yikes! Can they really make you come out of maternity leave like that? What if you had given birth the day before? :

I know some mamas will do spoon/cup-feeding instead of a bottle so that might be worth looking into.

[annettemarie]

OMGosh, get a note from your doctor. You just gave birth, for heaven's sake.

[annettemarie]

BTW, the Family Medical Leave Act says they can't force you to do this:
http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

[LilMomma83]

I guess they can't "make" me come in, but, if I don't go to this training (free) than I have to pay to take it elsewhere before I can work in the fall...so it kind of "makes" me do it, kwim?

[LilMomma83]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

BTW, the Family Medical Leave Act says they can't force you to do this:
http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

Thanks, I actually spoke with the HR department about FMLA before DS2 was born and I didn't have enough hours in the last 12 months to qualify (I did use FMLA with DS1--and took my full 12wks! I loved it!)

[annettemarie]

Is it a part-time job? Because you would only have needed 25 hours a week/1250 in the past 12 months to qualify.

[Treasuremapper]

Personally, I would make up any lie and not go. Life is funny - you may decide you don't want to work in six months when you compare the childcare costs of two and so forth (of course, I dont know your situation, so please forgive me if I am way off).

Is there any one at your job with a even a smidgen of common sense or human compassion? Would it be possible to try to talk with them about it?

I used to be totally clueless before I had children, and to my shame, I remember calling a woman at home who had just given birth to ask for help with an open records request. : Maybe that's what is going on here -- someone like I used to be is making these decisions.

[LilMomma83]

Yes, it is part time (I used to be fulltime before DS1 was born) I worked varying amounts, but, no more than 20hrs/wk except for a few specific weeks, and then had some weeks off.

I have to work at least until I graduate school in May 2010 to cover daycare costs of going to school...then we will probably re-evaluate everything. I have been looking for other work, my job isn't too bad...but, the commute etc is getting to me..I will probably need this training anywhere I go though, I work in recreation and it is a certification update and I think I would need it anywhere by January.

It will be ok...it is just so much harder to leave him than I thought it would be...even though I've been through this before!

[wavybrains]

I'm just lurking here for a friend's July birth, but I saw this post and wanted to respond. I'm a professor and a writer, and I have seen tiny babies at trainings and occasionally in class. I was at a convention while pregnant, and I saw a number of discreetly tucked teeny babies in sessions. I would call or email the instructor directly and ask if you could sit in the back of the training room with a baby who will probably sleep through the whole thing. I know a student who had a baby come a few weeks early, and she arrived for finals with her MIL in tow. I had to attend a meeting where bringing her wasn't an option, but DH (insert grandparent or friend of your choosing) came with and walked her around the halls so that I could still see her and nurse. The ring sling was perfect for baby-wearing in non-baby settings b/c it allowed for more discreet nursing without whipping out one of those dreadful hooter hider thingies

Best of luck!

[Quindin]

I was going to suggest that you have your baby in a sling as well.
When they are so small they sleep all the time, and they can nurse in the sling very discretly if they are hungry.
When I put my newborns in wraps most people can't even tell there is a baby in there.
I think you should ask them that.

[mags]

OMG, how tough! I would be so upset to be in this situation. I think that last two pp's idea to just bring baby with you in a sling and diaper bag full of everything you will need would be a good alternative if your training is a lecture style seminar. Good luck, I really feel for you. Like the others said, I'd be really tempted to come up with ANY excuse to get out of it there are no other alternatives or they can't be more flexible.

[durafemina]

oh. . . I would totally try and take baby. I wrote an exam when dd was 2 weeks old and had Dp holding her in the waiting room and then I took a break to breastfeed her - and that was only a 2.5 hr exam!

Barring that - cup/spoon feeding is much easier in such a little babe & prevents and nipple confusion.

hope it goes ok

[eli's mama]

Yes, i would take my baby too!