my 3 year old has no concept of personal space

[Maxine45]

How can we teach the idea that people don't want him hugging and poking and touching and yelling in their faces?
My son is starting to alienate his little friends with TOO MUCH touching.

I started talking to him about space bubbles yesterday but didn't get very far.
me: "you know what bubbles are?"
him: "yes"
me: "what are they?"
him: "they're for POPPING!!!"

oye. that seems to be the trouble, allright.

[4evermom]

My ds used to kind of poke kids to try to get them to interact. I coached him a bit to tell them his name and ask them to play. He was pretty verbal so that worked pretty well except the other kids weren't always verbal enough to respond.

I used to just say other kids weren't for touching. I think my niece or someone said "what about hugs?" so we added except for hugs. So I told him to say "hug" first is he was going to hug someone. That helped tremendously because half the time the other kids thought they were going to get attacked. With the word hug spoken first, they'd just hug him back and not mind. Even if ds was thinking of something less friendly, that put the hug notion in his head (like positive redirection) and that's what he'd end up doing.

[Maxine45]

Thank you, that's a great idea. I'll give it a try.

[Autumn C.]

Originally Posted by Maxine45

I started talking to him about space bubbles yesterday but didn't get very far.
me: "you know what bubbles are?"
him: "yes"
me: "what are they?"
him: "they're for POPPING!!!"

.

You know, I still have this issue with my 10 year old. I've tried to invoke the bubble thing as well. The concept he gets, he just doesn't understand why anyone would want a space bubble around them. <sigh>

[Ruthla]

This is a challenge in my family too. DD2 has an exceptionally high need for personal space, DD1 has an average need, and DS has a less than average need for space. He DOES understand the concept of "personal space", but he easily forgets just how much space his sisters need, because he doesn't have those same needs! There are moments when he wants to be left alone, but far more often he wants to get close, touch, stand inches away from me, etc. At least I've finally taught him that I don't like to hug while I'm eating!

I personally think that the "personal bubble" is kind of a weird way to explain this concept. "You're too close, give her some space" or "You're too close, she doesn't like that" just logically makes more sense than "personal bubble". I mean, you can't SEE this "bubble", it's not really there!

[Autumn C.]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

There are moments when he wants to be left alone, but far more often he wants to get close, touch, stand inches away from me, etc. At least I've finally taught him that I don't like to hug while I'm eating!

Mine too! I feel like he's going to take the food from my mouth he gets so close!