LMBO I can't go through this entire thing, but wow, I guess we all have our little things. I've been known to call my boys "buddy", definitely with affection (same as I call them sweetie pie, pumpkin, monkey...) and definitely NOT to toughen them up or make them manly or denigrate them LOL
I *think* I can see the issue, I mean, "buddy" can be said rudely, but it's the tone that makes it so, not the word. You can say lots of nice words in a rude way. Someone made a good point about baby/babe -- by the wrong person, in the wrong tone of voice, it can be quite insulting. Or...not. And I also "get" that people sometimes use stereotypical terms ("sport" for boys, "princess" for girls...) but trust me when I say that turning our little buddies into jocks is the least of our intentions LOL (I do admit to being bothered by birth announcements introducing "our future ballerina" or "future linebacker" -- like I said, we all have our little things I guess!