financial hardship thwarting your values....?

[Krystal323]

The title probably doesn't explain my thoughts very well--

I've been thinking lately that a lot of the things I do or don't do are directly affected by our chronic lack of money.

For instance, I have been vegetarian for 14 years, longer than I've been an adult I've never really been able to eat a very healthy diet tho, because I can't afford it. I was vegan for awhile, but the quality-of-diet purchases that round out a vegan diet just proved to be too much. I can't afford to shop at the health food store, and most of the time, a salad bag and a juice smoothie are waaaay more expensive than, say, a 2 liter of soda and a case of ramen. Most of the time, I can barely even afford to find balance there, so we eat a lot of crap. Not because I don't care, but because I've had to make myself not stress about it, because getting enough calories has to take precedence over getting even passably good nutrition, sometimes.

This is just one example of MANY. The quality of education my kids receive, the amount of time I have to spend with them, etc. Why don't we have a backyard? Why don't we drive a hybrid? Why don't we have pets?

I can't even afford Brita filters right now, so I have to cringe and we all drink tap water.

The net effect of living like this is that sometimes I get really disillusioned, because our lifestyle is so sub-par compared to my supposed values. What am I really allowed to get passionate about, if I can't follow through with much besides the sentiment?

Short of selling the few really nice things we have, there's not even a temporary fix to this situation. Our best plan is being executed, but it's a lot of waiting and hard work to get there.

I worry that once we come through this long, dark tunnel, will I still have the same idealistic values, or will poverty have broken me inside? Anyone else struggling with these types of feelings?

[Thystle]

Nope not alone. Any mama on this website and in financial "turmoil" feels the same.

[zoe196]

I'm with you, mama...I try not to compromise too much on food-- we eat a lot of beans and rice but I do buy organic as much as I can and try and buy local, seasonal vegetables. I never buy supermarket eggs no matter how organic and freerange they say they are I don't believe those chickens are happy or healthy. I went to great expense when I moved into where we live to buy a water filter (undersink) and should have replaced the cartridge at least 6 months ago but can't afford the £30. It still tastes better then tap but still. Because I feel like food is so important I end up losing out in other areas...most of my son's clothes are 2nd hand and I have been wearing the same clothes for years and would LOVE new ones. Another area I kick myself for is nappies (diapers); I use disposables and for the first couple of years I was vigilant about getting eco friendlier ones-- lately I have been buying what's on sale. I keep telling myself my ds will be potty trained soon -- he is 3.5 and I thought he would have been using the toilet AGES ago)

So , yep my values are seriously compromised. I wish they weren't.

Zoe, mama to Thomas 1/06

[YesandNo]

I cut back work hours to spend more time with DD, and I don't regret it, but sometimes my values take a blow now. I have been spotted at a WalMart a few times. Not proud of it, but where else can I find an air conditioner for less than $100?

Also, as a long-term veg, I hear you about the expensiveness of veganism. Lentils and rice are really cheap -- but fresh veggies? Produce is far and away the biggest part of my grocery bill and that's not buying anywhere near as much as I'd like. Thank goodness frozen is (nearly) as healthy as fresh.

[MrsJez]

I wholeheartedly echo your sentiment. I do feel incredibly conflicted at times. It's like I know better but I can't afford better. It is incredibly frustrating. I've just had to make myself not think about it. If for some crazy reason I can get a product my family uses in an organic or more natural form for the same price, excellent. If not, we're eating what's cheapest. It's just the reality of it right now. And, like you, I'm hoping that the road we're on right now and the sacrifices we are making at this point in our lives will pay off in the future so that I can do what I know is best for my family.