7/13 - 7/19 Chat

[michanders4]

Nancy - you are too funny, but really could any of you imagine being pregnant again this soon??

Lindsay - : : : can't wait to hear she is home and that things are going so well!!

Hope everyone is having a good week - LO is calling!!

[Peony]

Pg again, right now???!!! : Not happening in this house! Even though Julian is a easy baby, they don't stay that way for long. They turn into complex little beings that are not so easy! I would like one more eventually but my minimal spacing is 3 years now. I'm not liking the 2.5y spacing between Gabrielle and Julian.

[AFWife]

Seriously? I would LOVE another one in 2 years or so...but pregnant a 3mo pp? Heck no!


Sorry I've been MIA. We completed our move successfully and JUST got internet (after a week of not having it) This weekend was interesting. BIL graduated from Air Force Basic Training so MIL and BIL2 were here. I thought I'd be 100% with it but having your inlaws over is so much different than being in their house...

My goal this week is to start finding a therapist that takes my insurance. I definitely have PPD and I need to get it handled. DH is great about being supportive. I get lots of hugs and lots of help when I feel especially overwhelmed.

How has everyone else been?

[racie0417]

To get pregnant again, you need to be having sex, right? : We really wanted LOs close in age, but getting pregnant again at 11 mo PP and having LO's 19 months apart is too close IMHO. If we have a 3rd, we'll be waiting longer.

[wobblykate]

No zygotes allowed

[FischK]

I just finished reading last week's thread and so much has happened here.

Congrats, Lindsay! Glad to hear Sophia is doing well and finally coming home!

Emma, thanks for posting the article on women in academia and children. It made me think again about how to combine career and children. I honestly think it is time for academic workplaces to consider family-friendliness an advantage in retaining workers and maintaining student bodies. Sigh.

Nancy, great shot of Zack!

Shine and AFWife, congrats on working on resolving PPD-issues. It's hard to admit that you're struggling with depression, but the earlier you start therapy the better for you and your babies. Good luck.

Hope everyone's picnics etc. went well.

I spent the last two weeks traveling and visiting with the extended in-law clan in North Carolina. It's a yearly ritual. I was not looking forward to it at all because of past experiences and I was afraid I would not be able to cope with the onslaught of people and the inevitable tensions. But it was quite fun this year. Everyone loved H. DH and I even managed to go out for dinner twice while MIL was watching H. And we went on lots of walks along the beach.

H has begun to smile regularly and seems quite content and happy. Of course, he took the week on the road as a chance to change his pooping schedule back to daily, and we had several blowouts in the most inconvenient locations.

I am also not pregnant again, and I hope it will stay that way for a while. I need to give my body some time to recover and if I want to make a case for VBAC I should leave 18-24 months between deliveries. And H is enough to deal with at this point. Crazy to imagine spending another July-April pregnant while caring for an infant.

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by nancy11

if i get pregnant, i will jump off a bridge.

:

AND

Originally Posted by racie0417

To get pregnant again, you need to be having sex, right? :

:

Actually DH and I DTD the other night, but (sorry if TMI) I'm starting to worry that I will not get really good sex again until River is like 5.

I think we're going to our first playgroup tomorrow. My vegetarian meetup group is starting a playgroup for veggie kids, so we're going to go to that. Not that she eats food of any kind yet, but since I'm vegetarian, I think that kind of means she is too.

[racie0417]

Originally Posted by bodhitree

:

AND



:

Actually DH and I DTD the other night, but (sorry if TMI) I'm starting to worry that I will not get really good sex again until River is like 5.

I think we're going to our first playgroup tomorrow. My vegetarian meetup group is starting a playgroup for veggie kids, so we're going to go to that. Not that she eats food of any kind yet, but since I'm vegetarian, I think that kind of means she is too.

Sex gets better. I remember thinking the same thing after Liam was born. It hurt until he was about 6 months old, and I didn't enjoy it really until my cycles returned when he was 8.5 months old. That was short-lived though, as I got pregnant when he was 11 months, and my libido basically left the continent. I am still waiting for it to return.

Have fun at the playgroup.

Fisch--awesome that you got some dinners out. : Aren't gummy baby smiles the best?

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by AFWife

My goal this week is to start finding a therapist that takes my insurance. I definitely have PPD and I need to get it handled. DH is great about being supportive. I get lots of hugs and lots of help when I feel especially overwhelmed.

How has everyone else been?

Good for you! It's been hard for me to make that call, I still don't have an exact appt yet, phone tag. In the times I'm feeling good, I think I don't need it,but then it comes back around, like this morning I am soo grateful though that it doesn't affect me taking care of N or P(other than not playing with P much). Though P is alot more work than N-never thought that would happen!

Originally Posted by racie0417

To get pregnant again, you need to be having sex, right? :

: Too! On the few occasions we've actually DTD I''m the first to RUN to get a condom!

Originally Posted by bodhitree

:
Actually DH and I DTD the other night, but (sorry if TMI) I'm starting to worry that I will not get really good sex again until River is like 5.

It will get better...I actually never had a "true" orgasm till after P was born...
on the playgroup...I wish we had one here...I had such a great group when we first moved here and P was 7mo. The group split in two due to international rules, then my 3 best friends moved, I got tired of the rules so I quit...I think that the lack of a connected group now is part of my depression. I went to the API meeting here and I just don't fit in. I can't find anywhere I fit in. Hoping Sept helps when P will be in preschool M,T,TH afternoons, we'll all go to music class Wed am, homeschool co-op Mon am and ballet Wed pm. Even if we don't have friends at least we'll be busy.

YEAH LINDSAY!!!!!!

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by racie0417

Sex gets better. I remember thinking the same thing after Liam was born. It hurt until he was about 6 months old, and I didn't enjoy it really until my cycles returned when he was 8.5 months old. That was short-lived though, as I got pregnant when he was 11 months, and my libido basically left the continent. I am still waiting for it to return.

lol

it drives DH crazy how I'm all over the place in terms of libido-- usually nada nothing-- once in a blue moon though, the mood strikes. Ick.

Finally getting going with an internship- long frustrating story that isn't relevant but I think I'm going to just actually go in 1-2 mornings per week and do more work on it from home (yay!) and will continue that in the fall if it goes well. That way I can keep working from away since I'll be in upstate NY for almost a month. (The internship is at my field site for my research, so very good to be on the inside, and good to go in person too. In the fall I'll also be joining the "stewardship volunteer" group who meet every friday AM to do invasive plant removal and landscape restoration. With baby of course. Oh yeah, my PhD project is about environmental communication). I will need childcare eventually when I am teaching and to conduct interviews and such, but this way I def put that off a bit.

I'm glad that article is of interest to some of you, I thought it might be. I thought it was great- and I like that they included tips!

Big girl friend Leah (12 years old) goes home tomorrow- she had to have a tooth pulled today poor thing which sorta ruined our day and has def made her kinda snippy. Ah adolescence. We went to get pedis together this morning (I am not a girlie girl and had a very unusual inspiration that a 12-year-old girl having a bad day would enjoy that, plus, it was pretty fun for me too!). The baby slept in the moby and DS did mazes for a while and then watched in fascination and picked out my sparkley nail polish- all in all, very cooperative little ones for once!

LO is on my lap chewing my arm and complaining. She is SO alert, vocal and communicative, amazing for not even 3 months old yet. DS was very different. This girl is def a charmer!

[Peony]

DTD can take a long time to feel decent/good again after a baby. DD1 and DD2 were both 6+ months before all the pain was gone. I never had any after Julian's birth, DTD was fine from the first time. Not that I have tons of extra time to be doing it right now, but everyone and then we get a few minutes. We finally had to resort to putting on a movie for the child with insomnia and locking a door the other night just to get 10 minutes.



Julian's blocked tearducts are not improving at all, if anything, his eyes seem even more goopy. I have to pry them open several times a day just so the poor guy can see something. I got a referral to a eye doc because of an hemangioma on his eyelid, because of where is was at, our regular doc wants a second opinion. Eh, I'm sure it is nothing, but it sure would be nice if ONE of my 3 child could avoid going to specialists.

[MelW]

I read: "sex gets beer" not "sex gets better". Then I thought...good analogy. It took me a while to learn to appreciate beer. Kind of like postpartum sex after the first baby. This time it's been better- more reliably sleeping baby, quicker recovery from the birth and less "off-limits" breasts. I remember asking postpartum after my first when I was going to be able to use my breasts for my pleasure again, and that took a whole year. This time it's not an issue. Sorry for the TMI.

I hit a couple of days of major sleep deprivation. Nora is sleeping well, but Neela has been getting up at 5 every morning. Nora sleeps terrifically at night, but gets too many interrupted naps during the day and I was starting to notice her getting crankier and more tired, too. So this morning we sent everyone out of the house, and napped for almost three hours!

When I was being a big sleep-deprived zombie b!tc# this morning, I told my husband that I wanted three things today: a nap, a haircut and some exercise. The hair appointment is booked for tomorrow instead, but we're headed to the pool this afternoon

On Thursday we leave for a few day trip to a writer's festival where my husband is giving a workshop and some readings. Then on to a friend's wedding on the weekend.

[nancy11]

Fed, changed and tired, Zack SCREAMED in the crib (for about 5 minutes) until I picked him up and then he promptly fell asleep in my arms. He's now swaddled and passed out without issue.

He wasn't swaddled initially, but he was literally just laying in the crib and screaming his face off after the mobile was finished with it's cycle. I hope I can figure out how to get him to fall asleep on his own a little better. Bedtime is like the #1 parenting snafu. >.<

This is very frustrating... do I really need to swaddle him every single time? I feel like if he's not clawing at his face, then he should fall asleep okay...

[Lindsay1234]

"Sex gets Beer"?! Im off to DTD!!!!!

We got the word today. Sophias discharge date is next Tuesday. Im a tiny disappointed its not this week BUT at least we have a solid, set day!!!! SHe has been getting fortified milk to help gain wieght and finally hit birth weight 4 days ago. Then blew past it and is now 12.4!! a lb in 4 days!

I need some cake.

[wobblykate]

Lindsay, the weight gain is so exciting! And tuesday is a week...doable, but I understand your twinge of disappointment.

DTD here hasn't happened in awhile. The first couple of times I had no pain whatsoever...then I think I slightly reopened my tear straining for a #2 (way TMI, sorry) and I've been doing comfrey root sitz baths, which seems to be helping. But we are putting it off. I think it's going to be uncomfortable no matter what, though. The first couple times I don't think the muscles had firmed back up and now they have and things are more uncomfortable.

My kid used to take 2 hour naps. Not anymore apparently. Sigh. I may try and swaddle her this afternoon.

Nancy, if he naps fine with a swaddle, why not? If he goes to sleep on his own in the swaddle you are one step ahead of most of us. I imagine like mine, a lot of these kiddos nurse to sleep.

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by Peony

DTD can take a long time to feel decent/good again after a baby. DD1 and DD2 were both 6+ months before all the pain was gone. I never had any after Julian's birth, DTD was fine from the first time.
Julian's blocked tearducts are not improving at all,

no pain DTD this time just don't feel emotionally ready for it. only 3 times since PP drivng DH crazy!

Originally Posted by MelW

I read: "sex gets beer" not "sex gets better". Then I thought...good analogy. It took me a while to learn to appreciate beer.

I never appreciated beer! breasts are off limits till BFing is over...sooo 2/3 years...sorry DH, you'll have them for the rest of your life after this!

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

"Sex gets Beer"?! Im off to DTD!!!!!

We got the word today. Sophias discharge date is next Tuesday. Im a tiny disappointed its not this week BUT at least we have a solid, set day!!!! SHe has been getting fortified milk to help gain wieght and finally hit birth weight 4 days ago. Then blew past it and is now 12.4!! a lb in 4 days!

I need some cake.

YAY!!!!!::, THOUGH WE CAN ALL UNDERSTAND THE SLIGHT DISAPPOINTMENT!

Originally Posted by wobblykate

Nancy, if he naps fine with a swaddle, why not? If he goes to sleep on his own in the swaddle you are one step ahead of most of us. I imagine like mine, a lot of these kiddos nurse to sleep.

OUCH on the tear! Yup mine still nurses swaddled to sleep and will for a long while...

P just woke from a much needed nap...but this is not going to be good, she's in that transition phase, at least I got 2 hrs of peace

went to park this am, good to get out and see some friends...LOVE nursing in the MT!!!!

[racie0417]

Shine, you are lightyears ahead of us with DTD. It has been twice PP (Ben was born April 6th) and 3 times (once during pregnancy and 2x PP) since my BFP August 6th, 2008. That is 3 times in 11 months.

Kate, I am sorry about the sleep troubles.

Lindsay, that is a week from today!!!!!!!!!!! :::::: And the weight gain sounds awesome!

Nancy, my older son slept swaddled until 8.5 months and didn't self-soothe to sleep until he was older than 1 year old. You have plenty of timee for those things.

Mel, I love sex gets beer. I am glad you got a nap today. We have an early waker in this house too.



Am I the only one who LO does NOT nurse to sleep? I sooooo wish he did, and his not nursing to sleep makes my life miserable. He tries to stay awake all day long b/c he will NOT nurse to sleep, hates the swing and the bouncy, won't sleep in the car, screams and fights a swaddle, lifts his head on his belly, etc, etc. I have to go into a pure quiet, picth black room, put him in a carrier and boucne and sway. If I talk, he wakes. If I sit down he wakes. If I try to sit on an exercise ball or in a glider, he wakes. I';d happily let him stay awake all day as I am getting really tired of all his requirements, but then he does nothing but scream.

I am feeling guilty b/c ODS just wants to play with me, but if I do, YDS screams which makes ODS cry. Any ideas? YDS screams even if I am wearing him.

I am so tired today. YDS sleeps long stretches but since he doesn't fall asleep nursing when he wakes I am up for 2 hours until he falls back to sleep. Then he won't nap unless I am not in cionstant motion. ODS slept for fewer than 8 hours last night, so between him and YDS, I was literally walking around the house for 17 hours. I am just beat.

[MelW]

Nora has thankfully learned to nurse to sleep at night. During the day she likes the bounce/sway thing in the carrier. Or sometimes in the car. It's fine if I catch her right as she's getting sleepy. But if I miss the window of opportunity she SCREAMS while I bounce/sway her and sing Oh Susannah again and again for about 30 minutes to fall asleep. Not fun- she's training me well to catch her early cues! Racie- it sounds soooo hard and tiring for you!

You guys make me feel like a nympho. I want to DTD more than the 3-4x a week that we already are. My libido skyrocketed in the second trimester and hasn't come back to earth yet.

Way to grow, Sophia. One week to go :

[michanders4]

NAK - and speaking of falling asleep nursing LO is asleep still sucking away! DH calls him a leech when he dioes this. I'm thankful that he nurses to sleep and that I have you ladies who understand and don't judge!

The last couple days it seems that Cooper might be developing a semi sleeping routine during the day - but its still not consistent at all and we are still on the go a lot. He is a happy baby and that is what matters. I do wish he would sleep longer stretches at night. Every once in awhile he'll surprise me with a 5 or 6 hour stretch, but his norm is 3-4 hours at a time. I have definitely seen an improvement and I did hear it gets better (usually) after the first 3 months so I'm sure we'll get there!

I have always had a pretty decent libido and it is just non existant since I had Cooper and it concerns me a little. I heard it's normal. I had a section and it doesn't hurt me at all to do it and once we do it it feels good, I just hardly ever feel like it.

Lindsay - one week away woohoo! Awesome on the growth spurt!

Racie -

Sorry to hear about the sleep troubles Kate.

s to everyone else!!!!

[Lindsay1234]

Racie - maybe reflux? My friends baby did that same thing. Only slept while you are standing and swaying, turned out he had bad reflux.

bohdi - How did the veg meetup go?!

emma- yay internship! Im assuming its unpaid? (darn)

peony -

mel - Have fun on your trip! Good luck!!!

shine - were tied for DTD! 3 times here too. Honestly, the 3 times have been great but I am way too tired to dtd at any point and ESPECIALLY when we actually have time at night.

kate - : for the tear.

Sophia is amazing. Isa is amazing. I have really lucked out with 2 incredible kids. Sophia got done puking her guys out earlier from the crazy meds and withdrawals from morphine (she had for the gtube), has slings on her hands, 3 days post-op from surgery, healing sternum and STILL smiles all day long. ALL day. Im going to post the pics in smiling babies thread. Isa played quietly on the floor (on a blanket) in the nicu for 5 hours today, THEN suggested indian food for dinner (smart girl!). I am really, truly blessed.