7/13 - 7/19 Chat - Page 3

[liseux]

Lindsay, I've been following Sophia and her imminent release both here and on fb. I am so amazed with her strength & yours, the NICU can be so hard. I think its awesome that you are going to stay in touch with the nurse, its so cool to keep that connection. Its very emotional leaving NICU and I will be thinking about you as you make the transition home next week.

We are going to drive to New Hampshire tomorrow and I am all alone trying to get everything done. So, instead I am pretending I'm not busy & coming here. I am scared of a 12 hr drive with a 3 mo old, a 2 yr old, a 6 yr old, 9 yr old and a cranky husband coming off of working nights.

[nancy11]

Zack found his left hand today. He's been holding it out, staring at it and talking to it all morning. He also (since yesterday) has decided not to yelp for my attention, but rather to make conversation (loudly).

Zack is generally happy and quiet... I'm expecting a complete turnaround in a year or two. Meanwhile, those things that are routine -- at least for us -- are indeed habits, though they may only last a couple of weeks.

Everything Zack does is normal and typical, I'm sure. The training begins immediately, however. Largely, I think he is training me.

I really love his conversations that he now has with me and inanimate objects. This morning he gave a dissertation from the crib and Dan and I just listened over the monitor. Usually, Zack yelps or grunts for his release from captivity. It's so exciting to see him change.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

Every morning is now started with some type of toddler fit...how did we get so lucky to barley have any of this the first 4 years and why does it have to start from the moment we wake and be all day long now? I try to be calm and practice love and logic, but there are moments I'm just so tired of the battles inward(me) and outward (her). I feel defeated and it's just 7am.

ugh, I'd yelled at my son and threw out his uneaten breakfast by 8am. I'm looking forward to two weeks of camp.... I need the break. And we had a great day yesterday, went to a playgroup in the AM, made a knight costume after nap, played with neighbor kids for over an hour before dinner, read 2 chapters of our book together, etc. We have best friends coming over after nap today for a "playmobil playdate" so can we PLEASE get through the morning in one piece!?! I wanted to clean the house and go to the library and the grocery store. Might need to lower my sights...

Nancy, can you just put the bib on at the last second? Z is a smarty-pants and obviously knows what it means! Kids do pay attention to what is important to them. No suggestions for the phone conversations though... you are absolutely right that that gets a lot worse before it gets better.

The books on EC say that the reason kids pee or poo the second you take OFF their diaper is that they actually don't like to pee on themselves (hence the smile, like "thanks mom, that feels so much better")... and so if you as the mom are really well in tune w/ the baby's body rhythm, you feel like "it must be time to change him" right when he has to pee. I guess that means we can chalk getting peed-on up to being good moms?

Claras_mom, I am glad to hear you feel secure right now. I am just hoping the funding for my class comes through- its a grant-supported course and one half of the funding is secure, waiting to hear on the other half. I did really well with the class last year and the director of the lab offering it really wants it to happen again, and he specifically wants me to teach it, so that's all good. Then I'm hoping to cobble together writing fellowships for my last year (year 7, sigh, but I did have two kids) and crossing my fingers that the universities are hiring again in 2 years when I'll need a job! I do know several people who got tenure-track jobs this year, but I hear its going to be brutal this coming job season. And sigh, DS and DH keep talking about whether we'll have more kids (or adopt more kids) and I'm thinking, yikes, I have a lot of professional hurdles to get over in the coming years.

Alright then-- baby asleep in the wrap, DS is reading moomin comics... time to go hang up the laundry.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by nancy11

The training begins immediately, however. Largely, I think he is training me.

lol thats just what I always say. Phoebe's lucky- Oscar is a hardcore trainer. He's really done a lot of her work for her.

[racie0417]

Just a fly by.....

Shine, Liam will be going into a morning Mom's Day Out/ Preschool program in the fall. He needs the socialization, I need the break, and Ben could use the one-on-one attention.

Emma, I never heard that about EC. Liam peed on me almost every diaper change until he was 1 yo....now I get it.

Liseux, I love your explanation of APing and needs versus wants. Good luck on the drive; I am worried for you.

Me, We are back from the doctor's....the 22 month old has an ear infection which explains his horrible behavior. Right after we got home, LO had a wet cough. Now I am terrified he'll get sick too. I am exhausted today, but LO only naps if I am on the move, so there will be no naps for me today. I do get to see Harry Potter tonight with some friends and I am excited about that. :

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

Every morning is now started with some type of toddler fit...how did we get so lucky to barley have any of this the first 4 years and why does it have to start from the moment we wake and be all day long now? I try to be calm and practice love and logic, but there are moments I'm just so tired of the battles inward(me) and outward (her). I feel defeated and it's just 7am.

It's because she's 4. I know that's not much comfort, but its the same thing I've been going through since before dd2 was born--dd1 turned 4 in mid-December. Seems to be getting better, a little--though we did start today with a conflict...I went 'off-script' on our waking up routine and then performed an unauthorized do-over. : Between the 2 transgressions she was pretty pissy....but for less time than on some mornings, so that's progress.

I am very aware that my reactions to her are colored--on some days in dark colors--by inward battles. Because of my history with depression, I actually see my psychiatrist once a month (as if for medication management, though I'm not on meds), which is a pretty good escape valve. I'm really sure that as you work through what you need to with your therapist, things with your dd will get easier.

Originally Posted by liseux

We are going to drive to New Hampshire tomorrow and I am all alone trying to get everything done. So, instead I am pretending I'm not busy & coming here. I am scared of a 12 hr drive with a 3 mo old, a 2 yr old, a 6 yr old, 9 yr old and a cranky husband coming off of working nights.

Odds are, the cranky husband will be the worst. It's not fair of me at all, but on long trips, I can get really irritated if dh takes the opportunity to nap, even though I know that he'll be a much happier camper with the added rest.

Originally Posted by emmaegbert

Claras_mom, I am glad to hear you feel secure right now. I am just hoping the funding for my class comes through- its a grant-supported course and one half of the funding is secure, waiting to hear on the other half. I did really well with the class last year and the director of the lab offering it really wants it to happen again, and he specifically wants me to teach it, so that's all good. Then I'm hoping to cobble together writing fellowships for my last year (year 7, sigh, but I did have two kids) and crossing my fingers that the universities are hiring again in 2 years when I'll need a job! I do know several people who got tenure-track jobs this year, but I hear its going to be brutal this coming job season. And sigh, DS and DH keep talking about whether we'll have more kids (or adopt more kids) and I'm thinking, yikes, I have a lot of professional hurdles to get over in the coming years.

I'm honestly not convinced it's been anything but brutal for the last 20 or 30 years. when I started grad school, in the late 80s, optimistic people thought that as all the people hired in the great higher education expansion of the 60s and 70s retired, there might be more jobs. But instead, at least in my field, institutions downsized--open positions were often combined or eliminated. When I was first on the job market, I spent a lot of time and effort on applications for generalist kinds of positions, trying to demonstrate why I was uniquely qualified to teach, well...anything at all. Soooo, even though my job in the UC isn't full-time OR tenure track, it is in fact in my specialty and I have a lot of flexibility in what I teach. That made it worth taking, even though when I first came out, I couldn't afford to live here without a second job, and still wouldn't be able to afford an apartment (w/out roommates) on just my salary.

Not meaning to be depressing or anything. Just hoping that if you don't find what you're looking for right off the bat, there will be outside-the-box options for you.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by claras_mom

Not meaning to be depressing or anything. Just hoping that if you don't find what you're looking for right off the bat, there will be outside-the-box options for you.

don't worry, I already know its depressing!

sounds like you ave a good situation for a working mum perhaps anyway?

in our family, we both expect to work-- at least one of us has to have a decent job, the other one can have a supplemental income... don't know which one will be which though.

[ShineliketheSon]

only have a min...baby crying...therapy was good wrote about it here if you want to see...I started posting on the PPD site so as not to be a constant downer on our DDC, and those who don't want to hear it don't have to read the link.

Will hopefully read and respond when LO naps, in my arms of course!

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by emmaegbert

don't worry, I already know its depressing!

sounds like you ave a good situation for a working mum perhaps anyway?

in our family, we both expect to work-- at least one of us has to have a decent job, the other one can have a supplemental income... don't know which one will be which though.

Oh, yes - definitely a good situation for a working mum. Though dh and I have noted that ironically enough, once my teaching schedule is established, I have a lot less flexibility than he does (lots of tutorials). Fortunately, he's in a position to take off (or work from home) when he needs to for sick days, etc. I'm also more productive in my creative life if I have the structure of the job, and we do like having two incomes--for travel, primarily--so it all works. Wouldn't trade family life for anything.

As for support at work, shortly after my boss learned that I'm cloth diapering--we had a short, pleasant conversation about diaper services vs doing your own laundry and the environmental implications of each --he sent a note to let me know there was a "late baby shower" gift in my box. He and his wife gave me two beautiful wool covers, like these. So it doesn't get much better.

[nancy11]

Zack actually peed on himself, not on me... the trajectory was fortunately not in my direction!! He always smiles at me when I'm so serious with the diaper changing. I think he's secretly getting a kick out of my effort.

As for the bib... I put it on him so he knows that food is on the way and that I am not ignoring him. He's getting better with the screaming now that he started babbling -- literally yesterday. And, I know, that has nothing to do with me!

[Azreial]

lots of craziness over here. I'm going to try to get back into posting :

Eden is smiling now She's having trouble gaining weight though and her gross motor skills are lagging. We're getting early intervention for her.

We've been supplementing with milk-based formula and it seemed ok to us but EI is thinking she might be sensative to it. They said she showed a lot of signs of an intolorance and possibly silent reflux. We went through that REALLY bad with the twins. She's no where near what they were like but is fussier/gassier/and spittier than Elizabeth so who knows. We're going to try alimentum and see if it helps since she's already shown sensativity to soy :

BF is going so-so. She's a great nurser, I'm not doing so well at producing though. I'm one tons of supplements now though and thats making a huge difference

Shines, I'm suffering from PPD as well I got it after my other births so I expected it this time so started treatment early

I'm still trying to recover from the anemia. I ended up getting iron transfusions. I'll find out Tuesday how well they worked

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by Azreial

lots of craziness over here. I'm going to try to get back into posting :

Eden is smiling now She's having trouble gaining weight though and her gross motor skills are lagging. We're getting early intervention for her.

We've been supplementing with milk-based formula and it seemed ok to us but EI is thinking she might be sensative to it. They said she showed a lot of signs of an intolorance and possibly silent reflux. We went through that REALLY bad with the twins. She's no where near what they were like but is fussier/gassier/and spittier than Elizabeth so who knows. We're going to try alimentum and see if it helps since she's already shown sensativity to soy :

BF is going so-so. She's a great nurser, I'm not doing so well at producing though. I'm one tons of supplements now though and thats making a huge difference

Shines, I'm suffering from PPD as well I got it after my other births so I expected it this time so started treatment early

I'm still trying to recover from the anemia. I ended up getting iron transfusions. I'll find out Tuesday how well they worked

Glad to see you back! THanks for the support, glad you knew to start early, I'm really not sure mine is PPD, when compared to my sister's PPD it's a teensy weensy sliver! Hope the transfusions worked and things get better with Eden. Yay on the smiles!

[wobblykate]

Welcome back Azrieal!!! I've been wondering. Sounds like you've had a lot on your plate! You've been missed.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by wobblykate

Welcome back Azrieal!!! I've been wondering. Sounds like you've had a lot on your plate! You've been missed.

My thoughts exactly! I've been short tempered with my other kids as well. Madeline sleeps poorly at night which makes me even more grouchy. Gabrielle is busy being 2, gotta love those 2 year old screaming fits that go on forever. We've been on the go so much that this morning we all just relaxed at the house, it was great. Gotta do that more often.

[Azreial]

thanks everyone for the warm re-welcome

yeah lots on our plate, always is with 5 kids Thankfully the twins go to daycare and Elizabeth goes to preschool during the day. Christopher is on the autism spectrum so he goes to a special school and it runs essentially year round. So its mostly just me and Eden during the day. Its a big expense and feels wastful but if we pulled them because I'm home they'd loose their spots and with how bad my ppd got after the twins everyone is doing everything they can to try reduce my stress

Shine, did you take the ppd screener on the ppd board? It doesn't have to be as bad a s your sister to be ppd and with her suffering from it you're more likely to

[FischK]

Another crazy week. My cousin visited and we spent lots of time in the car to show her around Maine. She really wanted to see a moose, but despite all efforts that did not happen. Luckily H does not mind the car and I've become quite comfortable with nip, so we're very mobile at this point.

Lindsay, glad to hear that Sophia is coming home soon! :

emma, always interested in your ec-progress. Good to hear it works. Question: How exactly do the baby-signs work? I've heard about that, but not whether it actually helps with communication.

Azreial, good to hear you're back. sorry about the ppd and all the things you've on your plate.

racie, sorry to hear about the ear infection. hope it clears up soon.

liseux, hope the trip to nh was bearable. lucky for you the weather up here seems to have become less rainy. Enjoy your vacation!

[wobblykate]

Sorry I haven't resonded to everyone, but I have read and want to give big hugs to everyone! Sometimes it's hard to keep up! We're still pretty prolific these days!

Eden's teething has mostly affected her sleeping. I feel like every time I move she wakes up and wants to nurse. yawn. Naps have been more of a struggle, too. I might try putting her in the moses basket tonight when we go to bed. Perhaps if we're not jostling her she'll sleep longer? We'll see.

Yesterday was so hot here. Eden had some Naked time and boy did she love it! She was rolling all over the place!

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by MelW

I'm wandering around the house wearing a very fitted and revealing halter-top dress and wedge heels with a baby tucked under one arm... trying to decide if I can pull this off for a wedding this weekend. I think I'll do it- but should take it off now before it gets spit-up on and thus adding to my laundry to do before we leave pile.

Wow...I don't think I could have worn a revealing halter dress even prebaby. Have fun at the wedding!

Originally Posted by liseux

We are going to drive to New Hampshire tomorrow and I am all alone trying to get everything done. So, instead I am pretending I'm not busy & coming here. I am scared of a 12 hr drive with a 3 mo old, a 2 yr old, a 6 yr old, 9 yr old and a cranky husband coming off of working nights.

And again, wow. I just finished a roadtrip to a place that's only 3 hours away, and by the time we got home I was going nuts. Hope the trip goes well for you!

Originally Posted by racie0417

Me, We are back from the doctor's....the 22 month old has an ear infection which explains his horrible behavior. Right after we got home, LO had a wet cough. Now I am terrified he'll get sick too. I am exhausted today, but LO only naps if I am on the move, so there will be no naps for me today. I do get to see Harry Potter tonight with some friends and I am excited about that. :

Hope your ODS feels better soon and the LO stays healthy! I'm so sorry you have such a hard time getting LO to nap. That sounds exhausting.

Originally Posted by claras_mom

I am very aware that my reactions to her are colored--on some days in dark colors--by inward battles. Because of my history with depression, I actually see my psychiatrist once a month (as if for medication management, though I'm not on meds), which is a pretty good escape valve. I'm really sure that as you work through what you need to with your therapist, things with your dd will get easier.

Are things going okay with you these days? I've been wondering how you're doing with the depression.

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

only have a min...baby crying...therapy was good wrote about it here if you want to see...I started posting on the PPD site so as not to be a constant downer on our DDC, and those who don't want to hear it don't have to read the link.

Will hopefully read and respond when LO naps, in my arms of course!

Glad your therapy was good. Hopefully this doesn't sound creepy, but you showed up in one of my dreams the other night. You didn't really do anything, and it wasn't an interesting dream really, but you were there hanging out. Guess I've had you on my mind and I've been hoping things are going better for you.

Originally Posted by Azreial

lots of craziness over here. I'm going to try to get back into posting :

Eden is smiling now She's having trouble gaining weight though and her gross motor skills are lagging. We're getting early intervention for her.

We've been supplementing with milk-based formula and it seemed ok to us but EI is thinking she might be sensative to it. They said she showed a lot of signs of an intolorance and possibly silent reflux. We went through that REALLY bad with the twins. She's no where near what they were like but is fussier/gassier/and spittier than Elizabeth so who knows. We're going to try alimentum and see if it helps since she's already shown sensativity to soy :

BF is going so-so. She's a great nurser, I'm not doing so well at producing though. I'm one tons of supplements now though and thats making a huge difference

Shines, I'm suffering from PPD as well I got it after my other births so I expected it this time so started treatment early

I'm still trying to recover from the anemia. I ended up getting iron transfusions. I'll find out Tuesday how well they worked

Welcome back! Sorry you've been having so many challenges.

Originally Posted by FischK

Another crazy week. My cousin visited and we spent lots of time in the car to show her around Maine. She really wanted to see a moose, but despite all efforts that did not happen.

I saw a moose on Wednesday! We were driving on our way to Rocky Mountain National Park and I was looking off to the side of the road and saw a big creature. By the time my brain processed what I was seeing and figured out it was a moose, we were already way past it and couldn't see it anymore. Do you see them often in Maine?

Originally Posted by wobblykate

Eden's teething has mostly affected her sleeping. I feel like every time I move she wakes up and wants to nurse. yawn. Naps have been more of a struggle, too. I might try putting her in the moses basket tonight when we go to bed. Perhaps if we're not jostling her she'll sleep longer? We'll see.

Hope you get a better night's sleep tonight. Let us know if the Moses basket works! I'm considering trying to get River to sleep in the cosleeper, but we've never had much success when we've tried that.

Re: the weight loss discussion, I'm still losing, slowly but steadily. I pretty much eat what I want, but a lot of the time what I want is vegetables, fruits, whole grains, etc. Of course, I also get ice cream cravings, but whatever, it will all balance out. I've also been putting a lot of effort into getting daily exercise in hopes that it will help my mood (which it does seem to). I'm down about 30 pounds from where I was right before River was born, but I've got another 30 to go before I'm back to pre-preg weight, and 10-15 more after that to get to where I want to be. It's going to take forever, but I'm determined to stick with my new attitude of not stressing over food/weight stuff.

We had a fun trip the last couple days. Rocky Mountain National Park is amazing. The only hard part was how much River cried in the car. She does better when one of us is back there with her, but she still doesn't like the car very much. But I can't just not ever go places, you know? I feel bad hearing her cry, and it really stresses me out. But I'm just not sure how to help her, other than what we're already doing. And I can't be a prisoner in my house, because that will just make me crazy, and she doesn't need a crazy mom.

Anyway, we did have lots of fun. We NIPed by a waterfall. We hiked a lot and saw some amazing mountain lakes. And while I didn't get a picture of the moose I saw, I did get a picture of this guy.

[wobblykate]

I hope that bear pic was from a distance!

Car tips: Dangly toys, static on the radio, swaddling arms. You may have already tried all of these, but thought I'd share what has worked form me and others!

Eden is still awake an hour past her bedtime b/c we have company...hmmm...should be interesting. I tried to put her to sleep but she just wants to flirt w/Nathan's friend.

I figured out why she likes this little mouse: it's nose is shaped like a nipple and she was sucking away on it.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by bodhitree

Anyway, we did have lots of fun. We NIPed by a waterfall. We hiked a lot and saw some amazing mountain lakes. And while I didn't get a picture of the moose I saw, I did get a picture of this guy.

Whoa! The bear picture scared me. How far away were you guys?

I love the nature pics you took, especially the lake. Soo beautiful.

My life is pretty hetic right now. my website says it all.

We're trying to find a new place. Our slumlord has been pretty abusive. I haven't complained too much until my best friend nearly slapped me upside the head so I'd see the reality of our situation. I'm so grateful for her. This has been going on since Feb. '09. It wasn't until she freaked out on me (yelled at my grandfather too), threatened me, really thought I'd take her to court... THEN is when I realized she must have something to be afraid of. She wouldn't act so afraid unless her conscience is guilty. She reeks of it. Wish I had seen this sooner. Well, not sure how we're going to get out of here because she has given us a bad name to our prospective landlord - out right lied about us. Sooo stressed out right now. Suprised I haven't gone crazy, oh wait - maybe I am crazy. At least the love for my children keeps me alive.