5 yo and wetting pants

[BAU3]

My 5 yo ds, who has been potty trained since barely 3, with no issues, has been wetting his pant almost EVERY day.. he comes home from school with wet pants, he copmes home from skiing with wet pants, he comes home from friends houses with wet pants.. he has wet pants when he's at home all day!!!The only time he DOESN'T wet is at night!! what could this be about?????

We talk about it.. wetalk punishment, we talk reward, we talk causes, we talk why, when how etc etc.... AND HE STILL WETS ALL THE TIME!!!

At first it seemed to happen only when he was playing with friends.. he was too "busy" and afraid of missing something..then when skking started he was wetting when he skied.. thats kind of understandable, but it has really become a huge problem.. it is more often than not(actully much more often) that he has wet his pants. He says he forgets, he says he doesn;t KNOW he has to go.. he says he doesn;t notice when his pants are suddenly wet.

He has a 3 yo brother who rarely wets, yet this doesn't seem to bother him much. HE has a new baby brother who was born in early DEC..... he seems to have adjusted quite well to him, but could this be related to that? I could see if it was at night, but I can't figure this wide awake, fully aware CHOICE to pee in his pants. DAILY. I'm really at a loss as to how to deal with this. Plqease make some suggestions, give me insight, tell me it willl pass........i;m stumped

[mamaduck]

I would not see this as a choice on his part. I think something must be happening that is upsetting to him.

[hoppytoad]

Oh my goodness....

My 5 yr. old DS does the same thing. He is wet more often than he isn't. He was out of diapers during the day when he was 2.5. He still wears pull-ups to bed, but I've never been worried about that because I know that can last for many years.

I have tried every possible thing I could think of to help him stay dry. Sometimes I remind him... but I just can't be on him constantly about it. Besides, I don't want to embarrass him in front of other people by asking him to try the bathroom.

All that said, he's been not wetting quite as much lately. The ONLY two things that we're different are #1, we pray about it. Actually, he includes it in his prayers every night that he can have help the next day staying dry. The #2 thing I started doing was having him wash out his pants and underwear if he peed in them (not in a punitive way). I will just say, "I know you can handle peeing in the potty when you really try.... and because you're such a big kid I know you can wash out your own pants, too." He seems to realize he needs to take responsibility for his own bodily functions in one way or another.

I suspect that my son gets so wrapped up in playing or whatever activity he's doing that he puts it off too long. By the time he finally decides to go, he just cannot hold it any longer.

He's also told me that he doesn't KNOW that he has to go, but sometimes I see him dancing around a little. That's when I gently remind him that whatever he's doing will still be there when he gets back from the bathroom.

So maybe if praying isn't your thing, you could at least help him take control of the situation by having him rinse put the pants after they've been peed in. If done in the right way, I think it can actually help the child see that you trust them to deal with it in some way.

[BAU3]

Thanks for replying...
hmmm, mamaduck, I keep going back and forth with myself on that.. I suppose I view it as a choice in the sense that he's awake and aware... as opposed to wetting the bed when he's asleep... but I hear you and am trying to figure out if this is related to some emotional issues.. just can't seem to make any corolations.

hoppytoad, I'm so glad to know its not just my boy.. the responsibility thing is a great idea...I may give it a try. I have not been confrontational about the issue..yet.. but am wondering if I need to be more firm about it.. in the sense that there will be cosequences.. no friends over.. no fgoing to friend houses..etc... this just isn't my normal way of handling things, though,so I've been holding off....hoping it will resolve itself...your idea is a good way to learn consequences in a positive way. thanks.

...and we're not opposed to praying

[darlindeliasmom]

My dd was like this too. She'd come home from kindergarten wet, or when I picked her up, would be desperate to go...I think little people sometimes have fears they do not have the words to tell us about.

What worked for us was to have a plan...a time when she would go. We recruited her teacher to help dd devise a cue, and she would "check". Maybe you could do something like that for your son.

Also, I don't think you're too far off in wondering about the new baby's effect. Kids can act out younger behaviors when a new sib arrives.

Finally, if this is new and it seems frequent, maybe an infection? I know UTIs are less common in boys than in girls, but it's another thing to consider.

Good luck, and hope he finds a way to work with this.