Eating healthy when DH does NOT???

[barefootmama0709]

So, DH and I were raised VERY differently with regards to food. He lived mainly on steak-and-potatoes types diets, or TV dinners. As an adult, he loves things like Doritos and drinks Mt. Dew like it's water. Now, if my kids eat junk VERY occasionally that's one thing, but I feel that it's important to set a healthy example. DH is not willing to give up his Dew!! I am the cook in the household, so I decide what groceries we buy and what we eat, but I'm not willing to take the decision-making away from him too, because he is not my third child. What would be a good way to reach a realistic compromise-and what are some DH-friendly healthy meals? (no tofu, but veggie is fine...he also doesn't eat rice).

[tanyalynn]

Maybe a combo of meat and veggies each night. My current basic dinner is meat + a starchy veggie (not white potatoes, but things like carrots, sweet potatoes, turnips, winter squash, I keep meaning to try beets, like that) + a green non-starchy veggie, something like asparagus or broccoli or baby bok choy or another cabbage. And throw in cauliflower somewhere cause it's versatile. Add some interesting spices and/or dips and a lot of those veggies are pretty good (that's how I had to transition to eating them, from growing up never eating them).

[cristeen]

I can only really tell you how I approached it - your approach is really going to have to depend on your DH/relationship.

My DH was a Kraft Mac & Cheese with Mt. Dew guy when I met him. That's literally what he lived on. The food part wasn't too difficult to change for him... I do all the shopping and all the cooking, and I do mean ALL (3 meals/day, 7 days a week with the occasional eating out). Over time, we've discussed research I've done on things like HFCS and hydrogenated oils, or health issues I'm having that are linked with specific foods (like soy) so he's okay with me making the "unilateral" decision to remove those items from our diets (which may be key, that I'm all about keeping it out of the house so *I* don't eat it). But I do make sure that he gets some "treats" so he doesn't feel deprived. That means I buy him "healthier" (no hydrogenated oils, no GMOs, no soy by-products) chips on occasion (and I've discovered he prefers sweet potato chips) - or I'll make him ice cream in a flavor of his choice (honey sweetened). Ultimately he's feeling like he's indulging while I can be happy with the ingredients... sure, it'd be better if he wasn't eating chips or ice cream at all, but I have to be realistic here - I limit his chips to once or twice a month and ice cream is kept in the freezer at all times, and I might offer it once or twice a month. As for his Kraft Mac & Cheese - after 7 years of my home-cooking, it tastes disgusting to him... he'd much rather I make him mac & cheese from scratch (which I do once every couple months).

The soda was more difficult, and that required weaning. When I met him, he was a soda guy. Soda and coffee, that's all he drank. Glasses of water at a restaurant would sit untouched. He absolutely refused to drink anything else. When we cut out HFCS, he switched to diet sodas, and I started searching out other alternatives (he was drinking 1-2 cases/week). I started keeping juice (fresh OJ) in the house and making him "mixed drinks" with juice and soda or tea and soda. In the evenings, I'd offer to get him a drink and I'd ask him would you like water or juice or mixed drink? Soda was never an option I offered. Over time that's just sort of evolved to him drinking juice or tea and even water on occasion (because he's too lazy to make a mixed drink himself and I've stopped offering), and now we're at the point where his soda drinking is maybe once a week, and all the sodas are now micro-brew sugar sweetened. At this point I seem to instigate soda drinking more than he does when I split a ginger ale with him (for my pregnancy nausea). And sometimes when we're out his water glass even needs a refill.

This definitely took time though, and it also took conversations about how I'd really like to see him drink less soda (because of X reason - bad teeth, HFCS, caffeine, hydration, etc.), how I didn't want him teaching our kids his unhealthy eating habits (any more than I want to pass my own on which I have been honest about), how I felt about keeping soda in the house with children, etc. These conversations happened over years, and all before we had kids, so it was possibly a bit easier than what you're facing now. But really at no time did I come out and say anything that would put him on the defense. It was always about how I wanted to make better choices as a family, or I didn't want to expose the children to it, or I've done XYZ research on ABC subject and isn't it interesting? or whatever. And slowly but surely I've managed to turn our eating habits on their heads.

Hopefully some of that was helpful.

[desertpenguin]

my approach was similar to cristeen's. although it did include some harping (or a lot, heh, not that i'm recommending that) because we have food allergies/intolerances over here and ds1 wants to eat whatever daddy is eating. for some reason he finally decided to cut out soda, which he would buy at work. he was drinking sweetened iced tea instead. a couple weeks ago he told me he went to the gas station and bought himself a soda and after he drank some of it he decided it was disgusting and had to go back and get himself some iced tea. now we're doing the instant cold brew tea bags, sweetened with stevia. he's been getting organic, no hfcs/hydrogenated oil cookies too instead of the regular yuck kind, and since making those two changes he's lost some weight.

[jimblejamble]

:

This is Chris & me. He sees nothing wrong with wanting to spend the rest of his life feasting on "The Dew", Little Caesar's pizza, ramen noodles, or KFC popcorn chicken and I am the total opposite. We compromise. I make stuff he likes but include more vegetables in it. Like, if I make enchiladas, instead of just cheese & onion as the filling, I'll do cheese, onion, tomato, olive, and avocado or maybe bell pepper. If I do a casserole I'll use eggs instead of cream of whatever soup, and if it calls for lots of meat I'll reduce the meat down to 1/2 or 1/3 and the rest will be an assortment of vegetables. If I'm making a vegetable stir fry I'll cook a piece of chicken for him to either eat on the side or mix in with the rice & veggies. On the rare ocassion I do make mac n' cheese I'll chop up a head of brocolli and throw that in as well.