Planning a handfasting that is an engagement

[natural_mama89]

My BF and I are going to be handfasted on the winter solstice of this year, which will be the traditional year and a day engagement. After which we will decide to marry or part. The wedding will be most likely the summer solstice after we decide to get married. We most likely will. I wanted commitment and BF was not ready for full blown legal marriage. This was our compromise so everyone knows our relationship is important, but gives him some time. Anyhow, I just dont know the logistics about the difference in formality, guests, etc. I want the wedding to be fairly elaborate. I am already starting my dress because its gonna take a while. I was thinking the handfasting can be just at our house among close friends and family, but I want it to still be nice and special. Any input?

[singin_angel]

I've seen a handfasting as an engagement done at a local park with closer family and friends. I don't remember there being any formal invitation on paper, although I probably would because that is my style.

They did an exchange of gifts and they were introduced as a couple to the elements/directions. The ritual was followed by a pot-luck feast.

I think no matter what you choose to do, having people around who will support you both in your relationship is the most important.

Bright Blessings!

[natural_mama89]

Thanks for the reply

This is something we are thinking. I will probably do some simple invitatons, and a bit of decorations because Im crafty and I like it. We will dress up a bit, but not as much as the wedding. What about other people involved in the ceremony? is it usually just the couple and maybe a priest/preistess, or would it be more similar to a wedding? Most of the info I can find talks about handfastings as an equivalent or replacement to a wedding.

[tankgirl136]

You will find little information on the idea of Handfasting as an engagement since there is currently a lot of debate on if this practice was ever traditionally practiced in the past. Saying that I think if this is something you both want to do why not create your own rules?

I think it depends on how you want to work the ritual, who you would want involved and the location. I had friends who did a Handfasting Marriage who had some issues with a few guests who were uncomfortable by the ritual itself. I would prefer to invite those who are open to the relationship and the ritual to be there as witnesses and not those who would judge or interfer with their energies.

For the ritual you would most likely use a version of the common Handfastings you find and then make sure it includes the statement about your engagement, instead of a lifelong marriage, and coming back to reflect on the Handfasting in 1 year and 1 day.

As for the other parts of the event I say have fun and do what makes you happy! Potlucks in the park are fantastic, but you can go fancier if you want as well. I had one friend who did theirs at the local Renaissance Faire they both worked at, they held a small handfasting engagement and then had a really big event at the faire the following year for their marriage.

I just want to say congrats and you are going to have so much fun planning your events! I hope this brings your relationship into clearer view for both of you and brings you both happiness!

[natural_mama89]

Thanks, that was really helpful. Its nice to know that at least a few people have done this before. Its just difficult to decide what parts of ceremonial things we want to include. I have found a lot of websites and I think that will help, I just need to keep in mind that my own plans my vary.

[elsa_elsa]

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