Is it wrong of me?

[lilli'smom]

I am completely floored right now. I have been keeping up with the thread on the parents of the 16 kids that were murdered(because it is in my town), but I hadn't known who the arrested suspects were.

Until today. My heart is now not only breaking for the children and the rest of the family of the murdered couple, but now my grief goes to the family of one of the suspects. I found out that one of them is someone that I knew pretty well growing up. His mom and step dad are some of the most wonderful, loving people I know.

So here I am, grieving the kid I once knew, and loved, that has become a monster. I am saddened for his Mother and step dad, because they tried so hard to teach him and guide him. And I feel bad that I am grieving for who he used to be.

[LeahBoo]

I know what that's like. A few years ago, in the small quaint town I live in, a couple 12 year olds brutally murdered their mildly disabled 13 year old playmate. The one who was the ringleader (the other just followed along, mostly), was best friends with the boy I was babysitting at the time, our families knew eachother, and I had worked with his mother. He was just an adorable little kid, small for his age when I knew him, and fun to be around. He was funny and likeable.

[spiderdust]

No, it's not wrong of you at all... it's definitely a grief-worthy situation. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this and so sorry for all of the families involved!

[caro113]

It is perfectly acceptable.

Not the same thing but - A few weeks ago a friend of the family was in a car accident. Not only was he killed, but he ended up hitting a special needs bus and killed the driver plus three of the special needs adults. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. And it made national news - or so I heard - which only made it worse. He and DP grew up together. His brother is the father - if only in biology - of DP's sister's daughter. The families were and still are friends. It's hard.

I actually know a family whose son is prison bc he killed his gf and their 2 year old child .. along with her friend and her friends 2 year old child.. He's on death row .. And then a few years later, the family's daughter and granddaughter were murdered. Their murderer is on death row, too. That woman has lost her son to prison and her daughter to murder, plus her two beautiful grandbabies to murder. She has seen both sides herself. I can't imagine how she feels.

Grieve for those parents. Grieve for their children Grieve for your friends. Grieve for the child that was lost. It's okay. Murder affects the victims' families as much as it affects the murderers' families. You are affected and you are allowed to grieve.

I hope you find some peace soon. I hope everyone does.