When can a child handle Harry Potter 4?

[Miss Information]

My 7.5 year old daughter has read the books and seen the movies of Harry Potter 1-3. I know the books start getting dark around book #4 and things get a little more graphic.

Dd1 *probably* can handle it. She's very mature for her age, and nothing phases her too much. Still...I also don't want her to be desensitized to death at an early age.

When do you decide a child can handle darker themes? How do you know when it's okay?

Dd has been begging me about it for 6. months. straight. We've talked about what happens, but I haven't read the 4th book yet (dh tells me it's more graphic than in the movie).

So what would you do?

[joensally]

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/book...et-Fire_3.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_P...Goblet_of_Fire

DD read #7 upon it's release in 2007, so she would have been 8. She'd read the rest of the series sometime in grade 2, at 7.5ish. She says she didn't find it scary, but she'd already read the full Lemony Snicket series, Narnia and a whole bunch of other stuff.

As far as I can tell, she's not desensitised to death and continues to be a very empathetic and sensitive person. I'm a mom who does guide her reading (will steer her away from themes, particular books), and am usually a poster who goes against the tide in threads about does stuff go over kids heads, because it didn't go over mine as a precocious young reader. HP does seem to have a certain magical quality that buffers young readers against some of the darker themes.

What about getting a second copy and reading it along with her? DH and DD have similar tastes in fantasy so he's there to bounce ideas off of, and I've read all of the HPs myself. They're pretty good reads.

If you really don't want her to read #4, what about finding another series to entice her? There is so much good juvenile fiction out there.

[Daffodil]

DD is 6, and I've read the whole Harry Potter series to her. She absolutely loved them, and didn't find them too disturbing. The first one was actually the scariest for her. After that, she seemed to get used to the idea that there would be a certain amount of scariness, and also the scary things got a little more abstract. I thought the end of #4 was pretty intense, and DP said he found it quite disturbing, but DD said she liked that part.

I did tell DD before we started #4 that

Warning :: Spoiler Ahead! Highlight to read message!

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a kid dies at the end

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so she was prepared for that, and she was able to decide ahead of time whether she thought it would bother her too much.

Based on the way she had reacted to other books and movies with slightly dark themes, I was pretty sure that even if she ended up getting too scared or sad about something in one of the Harry Potter books, if we just stopped at that point she wouldn't end up really traumatized.

[fruitfulmomma]

My children, ages 2-9, have seen all the movies (except the one released today). They have also heard the books through #4. I would probably be okay with the older ones hearing the last few with possibly some parental edits for age-appropriateness.

[Britishmum]

Dds read to 4 at ages 6 & 8, but didn't cope well with the ending. It's the first one where a 'good' character that they identify with dies. We took a break, for about 6 months, and now they want to read on, knowing that there will be more deaths.

They were never scared by the darkness, and love all the dementor stuff etc. It's the death of students that they couldn't handle.

I think it depends upon your child.

OTOH, they like movies 1 & 3 but found 2 too frightening to watch, although they love the book. We have to fast forward through parts of the movies even with #1, but they will read the books over and over. I think that there is a difference between reading and watching. Ds at 4 listens to parts of the books when I read them aloud and knows most of the characters, but no way will I let him watch the movies. He just gets to run in to watch the quidditch match and odd funny parts, then I sent him out the room.

[moominmamma]

You know your child best. I'd suggest you read the book yourself and decide. There are no age-rules about these things. My kids have been able to handle dark themes in novels from a very young age. Some kids need to be closer to adolescence. There's a huge range of "normal" and I don't think experience with other kids can predict how yours will react.

Miranda

[joensally]

Originally Posted by moominmamma

You know your child best. I'd suggest you read the book yourself and decide. There are no age-rules about these things. My kids have been able to handle dark themes in novels from a very young age. Some kids need to be closer to adolescence. There's a huge range of "normal" and I don't think experience with other kids can predict how yours will react.

Miranda

This is really great advice.

[Miss Information]

Great, this is pretty much what I was looking for. I think she'll be okay with it, if others her age here have handled it.

She already knew about the spoiler because I told her this week. I figured I'd prepare her a little.

Oh, yeah, she'd already read and seen the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and she handled that well.

I know I definitely don't want to censor her too much because I was reading Stephen King books in my teens. I would have been upset if my mom wouldn't let me read those.

[ChristaN]

Dd#1 and I read book #4 together (she read a few pages; I read a few pages) when she was 6.5. I believe that we read book #5 together that way as well and then she read the last two on her own when they came out. She was probably 8-9 when she read the last two if I recall when they came out correctly!

As far as the movies, both of my girls saw them by that age. My youngest is currently 8.5 and has seen all of the movies as they came out. This most recent one is the first one where she has actually read the book prior to the movie although she was about 2 chapters short of finishing it before we went to see the movie yesterday. Movies #4 and 5 at least were well done. The Half Blood Prince sucked, IMHO. Dds both said that it was a terrible movie as well and dd#2 said that the book was a lot better, which is high praise from her b/c she's not much of a reader.

[straighthaircurly]

The books have been fine for DS (almost 6) with me reading them. But the movies are too scary/graphic for him. He has already been through the complete Narnia series 2x.

[leighi123]

I read all of the harry potter books to my SIL when she was 7-9yrs old, she is very smart and they didnt bother her at all.

[VeganMamaRed]

I haven't read any of the other answers so pardon me if I am repeating what has already been said. My DD is 6 and a VERY sensitive 6. We have read up to book 5 together and she knows the outline of what happens in books 6 and 7. We just got finished reading book 4 for the 5th time, it is one she likes a lot. That being said, I skip two of the later chapters where Harry actually encounters Voldemort in the graveyard. I give her an outline of their encounter but not a detailed one. That is too scary for her. Not knowing every little thing that happens in the graveyard scene is in no way crucial to the plot of the story. You can easily do that and move on to book 5, which is DD's favorite hands down. It might be nice for you to read it yourself first so you can get a feel for it, you know your child and what will upset her better than anyone, kwim?

My dd is more than capable of reading the books herself (and has read book 1 many many times to herself, but she knows what parts she likes to skip ie the entire quirrel/voldemort scene) but I read them aloud to her anyway. It is a really nice way for us to spend our time and it also lets me intervene and explain when necessary or do some careful editing if I think something would upset her.

As a general rule, I think book 4 would be fine for someone your daughters age. I hope that helps!

[JessicaS]

Moving to Books, Music and other Media

[Theoretica]

Personally, I think if they've read the book independently they are probably ok for the movie.

[fruitfulmomma]

So, we tried to take the children to the newest movie a couple of days ago, after my husband had seen and ok'd it, and my mom ended up leaving about an hour into it with all of the girls. My 9 year old ds sat through it all the way, but I don't think he was really into it.

[coleslaw]

My dd is 8.5 and has had a history of not trusting books and afraid of death and scary parts, due to some badly-timed surprises (i.e. a main-character cat dying at the very end of a book that looked innocent enough, which we read just a month or two after her sister died). I finally convinced her to read the first HP book because I knew she would love it. I read it to her knowing that she wouldn't be able to handle past book 3. I told her so. She ended up LOVING the series, so I had a hard time saying no to book 4, but I explained why I was hesitant and told her the ending of book 4 - the sad part. She said she was OK with it. She also researched a lot on Wikepedia on the books and looked ahead to find who dies in the next books. For better or for worse, it helped her to not get to emotionally attached to the characters and we just finished the last book and saw all the movies - all within a 2month or so time period. She did get sad, but she got to a point where she was OK with it.

Like others said, read the book yourself so you can prepare her or you can go on Wikepedia and read the plot. A lot of the characters die by the end of the series, so it's good to know. I think it was harder for me, because I read them out loud to her (so I could make sure she was following the book and so that I could judge how she was handling it) and the sad parts were very difficult to read, but that was also a good thing to show her my emotions while reading it and being able to talk about it.

[Jessy1019]

We don't censor at all. If the kids want to read a book/see a movie, they can.

My son hasn't seen the newest HP since we went at midnight, and I didn't think he would wake up and be happy about going, but he's 3 and he's seen (and loved) all the others. My daughter also has seen all of them and loved them (including staying awake for the midnight showing of the newest).

We never had any issue with either kid being scared of them, or anything else (and they've seen way more than PG or whatever HP is).

At seven, I would be very surprised if a child precocious enough to read the books on her own wasn't able to take the movie as pretend.

[VeganMamaRed]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

At seven, I would be very surprised if a child precocious enough to read the books on her own wasn't able to take the movie as pretend.

I bet this can really vary depending on temperment.
My daughter is 6 1/2 and perfectly capable of reading the books herself. But if I took her to the movies she would be terrified. She is not into seeing scary stuff, at all. She LOVES the books more than anything else but I think that the picture that she creates in her mind is a lot less scary than what Hollywood comes up with, kwim? While I'm sure she would cognitively know it was pretend I'm almost positive that her emotional side would win in a fight between reason and feeling. But that's just her.

[ChristaN]

Since about six, my oldest has been able to read books that were not technically appropriate for her emotional maturity level. Now that she is almost 11, I have leaned more toward letting her decide whether she is ready for the topic. Depending on the sensitivity of the child, I can see some kids not being emotionally prepared to deal with the topics of books they are able to read. For instance, dd had a non-fiction book on date rape recommended to her by a school mate when she was nine. She could have easily read the book (it wasn't a hard book), but the topic was not something she was emotionally ready to read about in depth.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by VeganMamaRed

I bet this can really vary depending on temperment.
My daughter is 6 1/2 and perfectly capable of reading the books herself. But if I took her to the movies she would be terrified. She is not into seeing scary stuff, at all. She LOVES the books more than anything else but I think that the picture that she creates in her mind is a lot less scary than what Hollywood comes up with, kwim? While I'm sure she would cognitively know it was pretend I'm almost positive that her emotional side would win in a fight between reason and feeling. But that's just her.

But it also sounds like she would be able to say, "No, I'd rather not see that," if you explain that it might scare her and compare it to something else that she hasn't wanted to see. You said yourself she's not into seeing scary stuff.

I always tell my kids what they can expect from the movies we're going to see, and they can voice an objection if they have one. So far, neither of them has ever had an issue with anything being too scary. Even Knowing, which started out a bit scary and which my daughter commented on being scared, ended up being a movie that she loved.