or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Neighbor called the cops on me- VENT
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Neighbor called the cops on me- VENT

post #1 of 112
Thread Starter 
This happened this morning. It is long. Sorry in advance as I am crying here and freaking out.

So I have two boys, 4 and 2.5. I have a very large backyard which they like to ride their trikes around and so in the morning I go out with them and have my coffee and read the paper. They are playing and the day before my 2.5 year old had opened the back gate and ran off. In the back of the yard is a gate to the alleyway where we keep the garbage. So after that event, I put on a big lock high up.

So I am reading the paper, not worried about my kids opening the gate because of the new lock I put on it when my 4 year old tells me the 2.5 year old opened the gate (which he knows is a big no-no). I see that the gate is open and my dog and my baby are missing. I am in my nightie.

I run to the backyard and look out and don't see him, I am calling for him loudly from the instant my son told me. I see a man at the corner of the alley and street on a cellphone and I ask if he has seen my son. He said he went that way and pointed and then followed my son. I am running when a woman with a baby yells at me that this is the second time and she is calling the police (is on the phone that moment) and the man who was on the phone was her husband who was also calling the police.

What really gets me is that they are so busy calling the cops that the idea that maybe they should try to get my son escapes them?? They are so worried they just let him run past? My son got scared of the husband following him and ran into the house.

The only thing I said to the woman who yelled at me that this is the second time yada yada is, "I know!". I mean, duh.

Why they wouldn't talk to me first is beyond me. Why they wouldn't help but rather call the police is beyond me. After I got the kids together I fixed the gate with large rocks so nobody can open it. I have no idea what to do with the garbage, but whatever.

I am crying here because now I get to deal with CPS BS. Awesome. I have a runner. I thought it was secure. I don't like him running out and it gives me a freakin heart attack. I am watching them, but that kid is sneaky and fast. He is the epitome of a runner.

I just had to vent. I am sure everything will be fine and am not worried. Things happen. But it just upsets me that while in distress running after my son I get to hear that now the cops are coming. Awesome.

Dear fellow mama neighbor,

I see that you only have an infant and that you are probably so sure nothing like this will ever happen to you. But the sad fact is that kids are unpredictable and we do everything we can to make sure they are safe. It saddens me that instead of talking to me and working with me to find a solution (I would love some advise and help) you chose to have me persecuted by the police. I hope that if anything happens with your babe that I will be strong and wise enough to be there for you and help you.

Sincerely,
Purplemoon
post #2 of 112
That SUCKS. I am sorry you are dealing with that. We were recently setting up for a yard sale and had a bunch of stuff in the middle of our lawn, and it was me, Dh, and both of his parents when suddenly my DD (3) went missing. It was terrifying! we were searching for her and screaming for like 5-10 minutes. About SIX of our neighbors came out to help us. Everyone was running in separate directions, looking for her. Turns out she was hiding- in the middle of the yard- under a comfortor : I could have wrung her neck, but gave her a huge tearful hug instead. I can't imagine how I would feel if someone called the cops on us! We were frantic as it was. I would definitely confront this neighbor.
post #3 of 112
I am so sorry mama. Your neighbors overeacted. In a few years they will realize it.
post #4 of 112
Why would CPS come if she called the cops? Wouldnt the cops come out and you tell them what happened and then they shrug and leave because the whole situation is ridiculous?????????????
post #5 of 112
I'm sorry. If they are so concerned for your sons safety, why not grab him as he's running by and bring him back to you?


Have the police contacted you?
post #6 of 112
Thread Starter 
I'm hoping the cops just come and I explain and they move on. Most certainly that is what will happen. And seriously, all the concern they had for my son as they let him run by....:.

But now I wonder, do I sit here and wait? Do I go about my plans for the day? Do I get to sit and wonder if they will come or not? Fun.

I am hoping that the dispatcher or whatever heard me (I was yelling for my son in my mommy is terrified and I can break glass with this yell) and thought, oh good the mom is there, goodbye.

I am just ticked my neighbors happen to suck. First time meeting them and I don't think we will be hanging out anytime soon.

Oh, and the police take approximately 45 minutes to get anywhere (I know because there was a man threatening to kill a grocer because foodstamps wouldn't buy alcohol and it took an hour). So I should know soon if I can just tell my story and move on.
post #7 of 112
im so sorry. She could have offered advise, but calling the cops and not doing anything to help in the moment... it seems like she just wanted to get on her high horse and feel superior or something.
post #8 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties View Post
Why would CPS come if she called the cops? Wouldnt the cops come out and you tell them what happened and then they shrug and leave because the whole situation is ridiculous?????????????
I am hoping and betting that this is what happens. If for some reason CPS shows up tell them what happened- they'll move on too.


If you saw a two year old running down the street would you just say, "he went that way?" Seriously? he knew that the child was yours and he still let him run away. I would have attempted to return him. I hope they get twin runners next time.
post #9 of 112
I don't think CPS would be involved after the police come and find out what really happened. Guess what? Kids are curious.. they are going to try to go places they KNOW they are not allowed. The fact that you are right there and not off doing your own thing is proof enough that you ARE watching out for the kids.

I'd say, wait for an hour and a half, and if the cops don't show up by then, it wasn't important enough, and just get on with your day. Next time you see your neighbors, wave and tell them "thank you so much for all of your help with my son running away." and leave it at that.. They can take it any way they want. I am shocked that they just let him run by and instead made phone calls. it was only the 2nd time right? I would have been more concerned if it was like a weekly occurance or something. Sometimes people now days just baffle me...

I'm glad your son is ok. How did he get the gate open with the lock on it??? LOL.. you got a little escape artist on your hands.
post #10 of 112
I think you should let them both know that you can only asume that they would want the same thing done to them if they were in that situation, so you will be sure to keep an eagle eye out as their child grows and spreads his/her wings.

Maybe you could let them know what YOU would have done in such a situation and ask why it didn't occur to them to react in a helpful way?(just out of curiosity?)
post #11 of 112
What happened is neither illegal or neglect. Your neighbors are idiots, and if CPS does get involved, they will quickly end the case.

Ridiculous.
post #12 of 112
How frustrating!
post #13 of 112
Thread Starter 
UPDATE

Cops came. I talked to the lady cop and she wanted to see the house. She said it was fine (it was messy a bit but good enough).

She has to file a report with CPS but thinks they won't investigate. But they may.

I am so pissed I am crying.
post #14 of 112
oh i am so sorry

for what it's worth, a police officer once found my 3 year old nephew outside in his front yard at around 10pm, and nothing bad happened to his parents.
i am sure that if an officer even comes (which i doubt) they will see that you put a lock on the gate and made an effort to keep your child safe and that will be the end of it.

edit: oops i cross posted with you.
post #15 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemoon View Post
What really gets me is that they are so busy calling the cops that the idea that maybe they should try to get my son escapes them?? They are so worried they just let him run past?
this is what is most frustrating. people are morons. so quick to report, but so slow to act and just help the child (and you).

so sorry this happened to you.
post #16 of 112
Do you think that maybe because you were in your nightgown they thought you had been sleeping when your son got out?

I'm sure if you just show CPS the back yard and the lock they will understand. They have much bigger things to worry about.
post #17 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evergreen View Post
If you saw a two year old running down the street would you just say, "he went that way?" Seriously? he knew that the child was yours and he still let him run away. I would have attempted to return him. I hope they get twin runners next time.
Seriously. Who watches a toddler run by, watches mom frantically chasing and stands there talking on the phone to the cops? What is wrong with people?:

Just wait until theirs is mobile. That's all I have to say.
post #18 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by elisent View Post
Do you think that maybe because you were in your nightgown they thought you had been sleeping when your son got out?

I'm sure if you just show CPS the back yard and the lock they will understand. They have much bigger things to worry about.
Hmm....maybe. Also they reported how my son was half naked. He's always half naked outside because he is being potty trained.

The cop was very nice. I was scared to let her inside when she asked but I did and she checked their room, the living room and the kitchen and fridge. She said she would put all of that down in her report to CPS so she thinks that it will be more likely they won't follow up. As in, she did what they would do and everything is kosher.

But I am having to work very hard on not hating my neighbors right about now. Very hard.
post #19 of 112
I had something similar happen to me today too.

We live next door to a pizza shop. It gets really busy at lunch time. We walked over there to get a slice of pizza. Ds ran out the door. Two cops sitting at a table eating sees him run out and yells "he's out the door". Three adults were holding the door open. The one in the front yells back at me "do you want him out here?" I say "NO", but really I'm thinking why would I want a 2 year old running out into a parking lot unsuprivised? Then he runs up some steps to a second story deck. A teenager tells me that he can't go up there. I say to him that he can't go anywhere up there and he'll come down faster than I can get to him so I'm just gonna wait for him to come down. Now mind you I am 39 weeks pregnant and can not run after a 2 year old, but no one will help me stop him from running. They all must think it's funny to watch a very pregnant lady chase a toddler.

I know how frustrating having a runner can be.
post #20 of 112
I am so sorry this is happening and now there is bad blood between you and your neighbors. If they saw your son getting out, they should have helped you and not called the cops. Stuff happens, and you were dealing with it. You tried a lock...now the rocks. You are taking care of business.

Unfortunately they will not understand your situation until their infant is a bit older. Stuff happens. To all of us and our kids. Hugs.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Neighbor called the cops on me- VENT