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Neighbor called the cops on me- VENT - Page 3

post #41 of 112
Purplemoon-about a month ago I took my toddler and baby outside so ODS could play in the yard. I watched him SUPER-carefully because the yard is not fenced in. He was playing on the steps dragging his tractor up and down, and I turned away to set the baby in his bouncy seat. When I turned back around, he was RUNNING UP THE ROAD! The road and the steps are around 200 feet apart. Kids move fast!! Don't beat yourself up about it.
post #42 of 112
I've not read the replies.
We also had gate problems, and I went to the local farm store and bought a short lenght of chain, and a snap, like what's at the end of a horse's lead rope. I put the length of chain around the gate and its post, high enough up that no child could reach it, and closed it with the snap. We can still take out the trash, but no kid is going to escape from that gate. If you thought that your kids could reach the snap you could use a combination lock instead. We've had this set up for about two years, and it's worked without problems.
Good luck.
post #43 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties View Post
Why would CPS come if she called the cops? Wouldnt the cops come out and you tell them what happened and then they shrug and leave because the whole situation is ridiculous?????????????
:
Or go over there and lecture them about calling the cops for something they should've handled themselves.

Kid gets hurt when no one's watching it's a horrible accident. Kid gets hurt while some whines to the cops instead of acting, it's their fault.
post #44 of 112
We just moved to a new house with a big front porch and for a while I'd let my kids (5 and 2.5) hang out there while I kept my eye on them from the LR window. They never ran or even gave any interest in leaving the porch.

One day though my 2.5 year old got a wild hair and in about 10 seconds flat ran off the porch and into the street where he proceeded to do a little dance. WTH? I was FREAKING OUT and my neighbors were out front on their porch too, about to go get him as there was traffic.

I was sooo mad at myself and also kind of worried someone was going to call CPS on me, but they didn't. (There were numerous witnesses.)

All this to say that your neighbors suck.
post #45 of 112
A couple of years ago DH and I were working in the front garden when we noticed the 2 little girls who loved across the street dismantle the basement window, help each other climb out, and start walking down the sidewalk.

I kept an eye on the girls (they weren't in any hurry.... just moseying around) while DH rang the bell and told mom "Ummm.... did you know that your girls just climbed out the basement window?" She had been cooking dinner and was MORTIFIED!!! And so thankful to us after her heart started beating again.

It never even occurred to either of us to call the cops or DCFS!!! The girls were just being kids, doing what kids do... our biggest worry was making sure mom knew there was an issue.

So, yeah..... unless there's more to this story.... those neighbors = yuck.
post #46 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalimay View Post
"It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal."

I would be careful expressing this mentality. I think CPS can deem many things as neglectful that are not necessarily illegal.
Yep.

My kid taking off his diaper outside being one of those things. Naked kids and even wiping naked kid butts is fine on tv but somehow neglect when in front of neighbors

OP-
post #47 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madders View Post
Why exactly would they check your fridge for something as simple as your child running away? I was under the impression they needed a neglect complaint or something to walk through the house.
A neighbor saying that her child is "always" outside unattended (you know they said that even though its not really so) qualifies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouKnowMe View Post
I am so sorry!!!

Moobie, I am sooooooooo sorry!!!

I have never understood that: why do adults hold the door open for toddlers in the first place? We have had that happen so often! What are they thinking?!
I know! Ive had kids try to get me to open doors for them at the mcdonalds playland. Um, NO.

Ok, gotta tell you, I saw this happen once and never even occured to me to call the cops! I was walking toward my house, saw a woman leave one house and dart really fast across the street to another house, almost immediately, a toddler comes out and, not seeing her, begins to RUN in the opposite direction, toward me! I intercept the child, all the while pointing and telling him, "mommy when that way" and by the time I touched the child, the mom was already running out of the house towards us. She thought he was distracted in his room and was only running across to her friends house to grab something quickly (I forget what) AND had an older child who was in the house, and was suppose to have latched the screen behind her. The older child was watching the entire thing from the doorway, apparently he thought he HAD latched it but didnt do it correctly. The mother was mortified. But by no means neglectful

Heres what I dont get: the cops are being called out because a child ran out of his yard, with his mother hot on his trail? I mean, had he been out wandering around the neighborhood with no parent in sight and you didnt know where he belonged, then i'd call the cops. But your neighbors are ridiculous!

Once my bil and sil came by my apt and found my neighbors two year old in the parking lot (and we were on the second floor!), all they did was bring her home, as they knew her. Kids are fast. I had a client who told me her kids escaped and while she was frantically searching, the apt manager brought them home...they had headed straight for the pool!! Another person I know woke up to find her two year old outside at two am, she had dragged a chair from the kitchen to reach the lock that had been installed at the top of the door specifically because she was an escape artist! In none of these cases were the cops called!!

Makes me glad I live out in the country, no neighbors to see my naked kids running in the yard and barn!!
post #48 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemoon View Post
But I am having to work very hard on not hating my neighbors right about now. Very hard.
nak

good for you- i was just hating on your behalf. stopping hating now. i hope they have a runner! mine is a wanderer, a darter.

reporting toddler nudity, gmafb.
post #49 of 112
Ds1 was 4 when he got out. we had the windows open b/c it was a nice day. he pushed the screens off and got about 1/2 mile away in 5 minutes. He's FAST. He was also naked from the waist down. He also has autism and is not verbal. A neighbor about 5 houses away told me some women had stopped him and the police were already there. I called 911 to let them know I was on the way- I ahd to get my other 2 in the car, they were 6 and 2, couldn't leave them home alone. The dispatcher said they had a 2 year old hispanic boy. I told him that was my son, but we aren't hispanic. My ds has dark coloring- from the italian side of my family- and in the summer he gets very dark from being in the sun. I needed to tell them so when I showed up - all white- that they would understand. I think they assumed he was hispanic because he was so dark (dark skin, hair, eyes) and didn't seem to speak english. Anyway, I'm terrified they're going to take him to the station and I'd have no way to find him- so I'm trying to get off the phone. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally get there and break down- explain to the cops what happened. They escort me back to the house and see where he got out.

Nothing happened past that- but my ds1 is now 7 and that window (or the other that opens to the front of the house) hasn't been opened since that day. The back yard has a 7 ft block wall- so safe there. But, if it hadn't been for the 2 women otu for a walk, who grabbed him *before* calling for help- ds could have ended up in a very busy road- he was almost there. I almost killed myself with all of the 'what if's', as I'm sure you have also done.

Basically, if CPS shows up- you will not have any issues. things like this happen. everyone is safe. I don't think CPS will show up- but you will be fine if they do.
post #50 of 112
Okay....I'm COMPLETELY puzzled here.


Who here would say, that they would honestly get ANGRY, because her neighbors 2.5 yo escaped the back yard and ran down the street a ways? I just don't understand why the reaction to that is ANGER?

I would be laughing my PANTS off...would scoop the kid up and when the poor frantic mother arrived, would probably say something like "this kid needs a medal, I've never seen anyone under 3 run a quarter mile that fast!" - it's simply NOT something yo uget angry about!

Why is it so annoying to her? Where on EARTH do you live, mama, that people could do ANYTHING but laugh, to see a crafty escape artist, flailing down the street, in that cute baby run...with that cute baby weewee and bum wiggling along in the breeze as they hustle!! That's life! That's fun...that's a little boy busting out on his own...no idea where he's running, just seeing the world from a new perspective, sans mama...FREE!

Look...having a child espcape, is the most frightening thing a mama can experience...up until the very moment the kid is found. That's when you can laugh at the insanity of having children and coping with those crazy, flighty years they hit in between being a baby and being a child....but you HAVE to laugh, or you will most certainly cry out of frustration.

Purplemoon....don't you worry yourself and I demand that you let the stress of this event slip from your mind. You did nothing wrong. The true misfortune in all of this, is that you live next to a woman who, apparently, is blind to some of the simplest joy and sweetest pleasure in life. A mother cannot feel much but gripping fear in losing sight of her little one, if only for a few moments....but the neighbor who happens to spot the kid coming...has a truly marvelous vantage point...a window into a time past for them. For they can soak in the spirit of the escapee, they can feel joy at the expression of a young one, struck out on his own! See him satisfied in his unhindered movement and thirsting for adventure. It's NICE to see that..it's fun to see that, it's lucky, for that few minutes, to relive a bit of that....never again in a humans life, will the world seem so large and safe for that sort of exploration, never again will it feel so exhilerating to just RUN! An adult should try and recapture that feeling as many times in their life as they can...keeps you young.

But...in this neighbor of yours, we see a classic example of a woman who is on the very cusp of a time in her life, where she will see the error of her ways. You said her son is only a few months old? What, like six months??? Yeah...we here all know how quickly that year and a half is going to go by, don't we? One moment, holding a happy six month old...tisk tisking that silly unfit mother down the way..."Shame on her, losing track of her little one like that, and TWO times, no less....I have never lost sight of mine!" - well, let's hope the universe is kind to her and that when her wild child discovers his running feet and puts them under him....he ends up running down the street to YOU....so you can help her see the comedy in it...I say something in the way of "Haha, don't worry, he just ran a few houses down, I caught him no problem...wow, they get out quick, huh! Gee, do you think he's okay...I mean, should we call the police? Oh my, I see you're in your night gown, that's not very good for outside, is it!"

You're fine mama....this is life with children. I don't know what the world is coming to, that anyone has neighbors like that...unbelievable....
post #51 of 112
The only time I have ever called the cops on a parent was when a little girl showed up at my house saying her mother was "gone" and when I took her back to her house to look, her mother was in fact "gone." Why r u going to call the cops when the mother is standing right there?
post #52 of 112
I was helping a friend put her baby in her back carrier at a park this morning and ds (3) and one of her boys (2.5) took off on us. As soon as the baby was safely settled (a few seconds, if that), I took off running after them, but by that point, they had covered the entire distance from the benches where we had been sitting to the parking lot. One was halfway across the lane and my son had crossed the entire lane and was standing next to my van. I was HORRIFIED. I knew they were fast, but they were REALLY fast. I knew ds might forget the rules we've worked so hard on, but I didn't think he'd forget them that badly, especially with me chasing after him and shouting to stop.

It happens. It's scary as hell, but it's one of those split-second things. I can't even imagine calling the police instead of stopping the child and keeping them safe. Anyone who's ever had a child of their own, or babysat, or just observed other kids, should know how quickly kids can act, and how sometimes they act suddenly and out of character. (My mother calls it "taking a wild hair.") The police and CPS are resources for a neglected or abused child, not a sudden runner.

(And you better believe ds spent the rest of the trip either in a mei tai on my back or holding my hand. Good freakin' god, I just about had a heart attack.)
post #53 of 112
I am with Averysmama.

Your kid ran down the street and now you have to deal with all this shit? If so this is the stupidest thing I have seen. Those neighbors have it out for you, but why?

AND .... that is the main reason why this article is soooo never going to be reality.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1079733

I am so grateful my mom is visiting me. Instead of using that downtime to relax and enjoy my life, I will now clean because gawd only knows I am not a perfect parent. I let my kid play barefoot in the backyard the other day!!!!!
post #54 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties View Post
<snip>I let my kid play barefoot in the backyard the other day!!!!!
Oh yeah? Well, my baby girl got a messy ham face for lunch the other day...and then she was sleepy...so, I just let her go to sleep with ham sludge and rice stuck to her face.

Man...some of us MDC mamas are bad to the bone!! :
post #55 of 112
Oh my goodness.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that crap!

Just last week we were visiting my parents in WV. They live in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. It's beautiful! They're a couple miles from town, they have 2 neighbors in sight, that's it. Their road gets busy and cars tend to fly around the bend, but it's not a constant flow of traffic at all.

I was doing yard work while my dad looked on (he's disabled and was directing what needed to be done) and my older kids played in the yard. The baby, 20 mos, was on the deck w/ my dad. Never did I think he would come off the deck, and if he did, I'd just redirect him. No big deal.

I had my back turned to my dad and ds2, the big kids were playing, my brother had just pulled in and was getting out of his car, and the next thing I know, a car is stopping and my dad is SCREAMING ds2's name over and over again.

I looked and ds2 was IN THE ROAD.

He had zipped right off the deck, past me, and none of us had even noticed.

I scooped him up, shaking, of course, heart pounding out of my chest, and waved at the lady who stopped (thanking her!) and walked to the deck. My dad has had a couple heart attacks and strokes. He damn near had another one. *I need a melting in utter shock and terror smilie*

I put ds2 in my baby carrier on my back and continued the yard work. Eventually. We needed to sit and relax after that panic! And then we went to buy some gates for the deck!

Nobody called Family Services or the police over it.
post #56 of 112

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Edited by Cascadian - 6/2/11 at 9:58pm
post #57 of 112

*


Edited by Cascadian - 6/2/11 at 9:59pm
post #58 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
I'm CPS. Get calls every day about escape artists (some terribly scary situations...kids crossing lanes of traffic, or found at the edges of lakes). Unless the parents were passed out drunk, high, or leaving a 6 yr old as a babysitter, I chat with them about how scary that was, tell them it's a routine practice to check out the situation, talk about locks, laugh about how this age is so tricky, end of case.

My 3 yr old DD took off. Dh and I were cleaning the garage, BOTH watching her in the driveway. Both our backs were turned for maybe 7 seconds as I asked him a question about something to throw out, and she was in the middle of the street putting out her riding cones.

I do think it was crummy of your neighbours as they obviously know you a titch better than a random stranger on the street.

Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.

I never ceased to be amazed....it would just never ever in a million years, EVER occur to me to call CPS for less than actual abuse...I would never do it and can't manage to cram my brain into that frame of mind. :
post #59 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post
Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.

I never ceased to be amazed....it would just never ever in a million years, EVER occur to me to call CPS for less than actual abuse...I would never do it and can't manage to cram my brain into that frame of mind. :
IME when I screened calls, typically middle class, white collar, educated, professional people call CPS, so it makes sense it's coming from the better neighbourhoods. Some are mandated, some have blinkers on as to anyone living outside of their comfort zone. Many callers in the 'worse' part of town are either hell-bent on some kind of revenge on neighbours or in custody battles. Otherwise, they don't go poking beehives with sticks as it could swing the lens on themselves.
post #60 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post
Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.
I don't get it, either. My sister had someone call on her once. She was a single mom, and my then 2 year old nephew woke up from his nap, pulled a chair over to the apartment door, and undid the chain. She didn't hear him, because she was in the kitchen doing dishes with water running. The first she knew, someone was knocking on her door. She opened it, and a woman yelled "is that your child?" in her face. (My nephew had run back in when the woman yelled at him.) When my sister confirmed that it was her son, the woman ranted at her about her irresponsibility and how they shouldn't "let" people like her be parents. CPS (Canadian equivalent) showed up a couple hours later to do an assessment. It just blows my mind.

I wonder if these people never had kids, or didn't have escape artists, or what...
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