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Neighbor called the cops on me- VENT - Page 5

post #81 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemoon View Post
I just have to say on top of the fact that I had the police in my house and now a case number, the fact that the whole town knows is just super cool.
If I were you, I'd make sure the whole town knows exactly what happened. Firstly, because you don't want anyone thinking the cops were called for something real. Secondly, because it's not fair to let other parents miss laughing about your UAV neighbors.
post #82 of 112
That's ridiculous. The utter stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me. I really cannot imagine CPS coming because your kid ran out of your yard. I have neighbors with 2 kid, 5 and 3, and those kids are all over the neighborhood. They climb over my chain link fence into my yard to pet my dog, they opened the neighbor's gate in the back when they were having a birthday party for their daughter and just walked right in and jumped on the swing set, throwing all the other kids off (that were the family and friends of the little girl and her family......????)---in fact, a couple weeks ago, I was standing in my porch looking out the door, and I see the 5-year old boy standing ON TOP of the father work van, jumping up and down!!! Now if CPS isn't coming to their house to check out the safety of those kids, I can hardly see CPS coming to your house because of your "stray" child.

But, one thing I can say----PADLOCK. You need locks that your child CANNOT open, under any circumstances!! You keep the key and hide it. This way, you can get the key and open the gate when you take out your garbage, and then shut the gate and lock it up again. This will take a lot of worry off your mind. I am of the opinion that a child could probably figure out how to work a nuclear reactor, and the parents would struggle to work the microwave!!!
post #83 of 112
I definitely would not have called CPS (nor would it have crossed my mind) but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have grabbed the kid either unless there was imminent danger (kid about to run out onto a street with traffic, for instance).

Everything I've experience in real life, and everything I've read here on MDC, reinforces the point - you do NOT touch or interfere with another person's child.

Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.
post #84 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.
Like you, I'd suffer the yelling, actually even if danger WASN'T imminent because we all know how fast toddlers can be and how quickly situations can change...
post #85 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swan3 View Post
Like you, I'd suffer the yelling, actually even if danger WASN'T imminent because we all know how fast toddlers can be and how quickly situations can change...
Yeah, perhaps. I don't know for sure what I'd do in that case but for sure, it wouldn't be a given that I would grab the kid. I would LIKE to grab the kid, but I'm not sure if I would ...
post #86 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Yeah, perhaps. I don't know for sure what I'd do in that case but for sure, it wouldn't be a given that I would grab the kid. I would LIKE to grab the kid, but I'm not sure if I would ...
Mine's a runner and just the other day took off on me, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and COULD.NOT.KEEP.UP. I did run (sort of run) past lots of people pointing and laughing though. Grrr. In that case if someone had physically stopped her I probably would have thanked them profusely, but that's me!
post #87 of 112
I just had CPS called on me also, my 3 yr. old crossed the street in front of our house while we were coming in from the car. I was bringing in groceries and thought she was right behind me. By the time I had put the groceries down in the kitchen and was headed back to the front door, a neighbor had her there and was yelling at me. I thanked her for getting her and said good bye so I could have a nice long talk with my dd. A few days later CPS called and wanted to stop by for a visit. I could not believe it. I told them, sure, come on over and see how well I take care of my kids! I had to waste half my day chatting with them about everything in our family life.

I'm so glad I have helpful neighbors.

I know exactly how you feel purplemoon.
post #88 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
I definitely would not have called CPS (nor would it have crossed my mind) but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have grabbed the kid either unless there was imminent danger (kid about to run out onto a street with traffic, for instance).

Everything I've experience in real life, and everything I've read here on MDC, reinforces the point - you do NOT touch or interfere with another person's child.

Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.
I saw a woman yesterday running after her toddler with an infant in arms. There was no imminent danger, so I asked if she needed help, such as for me to get him as he ran past. (Had there been imminent danger, I would not have asked before acting) She said he was just running off energy, so I let him go past. (My husband and kids were with me, too.) But I have a runner and a baby, so I understand and sometimes would appreciate help.
post #89 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
If I were you, I'd make sure the whole town knows exactly what happened. Firstly, because you don't want anyone thinking the cops were called for something real. Secondly, because it's not fair to let other parents miss laughing about your UAV neighbors.
: Sorry you had to go through this OP. What jerks for neighbors!
post #90 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemoon View Post
Hmm....maybe. Also they reported how my son was half naked. He's always half naked outside because he is being potty trained.

The cop was very nice. I was scared to let her inside when she asked but I did and she checked their room, the living room and the kitchen and fridge. She said she would put all of that down in her report to CPS so she thinks that it will be more likely they won't follow up. As in, she did what they would do and everything is kosher.

But I am having to work very hard on not hating my neighbors right about now. Very hard.
So a toddler being half naked is abuse??? These people sound awful. You did nothing wrong. It is so hard for me to get past situtions like this. I hate to feel like ANYONE thinks I am a bad parent. They just don't really understand what having a toddler is like, they will learn the hard way. I agree with previous posters, when their little one is mobile, I would offer them the same "protective" services they offered you. he he.
post #91 of 112
the week after thanksgiving, salem who at the time was 14 months, somehow got out the front door, down the steps and was "chatting" with our neighbour who was putting up xmas lights, i had been doing the dishes, it got ya know QUIET and i looked for her.
when i saw her outside, (with just a glance out the window, cuz why would she be out there?) i saw her...
ron was great..he said, "she is a good helper!" she was "safe" we live on a small cult-de-sac with only 3 houses way off the road but still!.

but lots of people suck
post #92 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
If I were you, I'd make sure the whole town knows exactly what happened. Firstly, because you don't want anyone thinking the cops were called for something real. Secondly, because it's not fair to let other parents miss laughing about your UAV neighbors.
I agree!
post #93 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunanthem View Post
I just had CPS called on me also, my 3 yr. old crossed the street in front of our house while we were coming in from the car. I was bringing in groceries and thought she was right behind me. By the time I had put the groceries down in the kitchen and was headed back to the front door, a neighbor had her there and was yelling at me. I thanked her for getting her and said good bye so I could have a nice long talk with my dd. A few days later CPS called and wanted to stop by for a visit. I could not believe it. I told them, sure, come on over and see how well I take care of my kids! I had to waste half my day chatting with them about everything in our family life.

I'm so glad I have helpful neighbors.

I know exactly how you feel purplemoon.
That is frustrating :

When I was in school there was a case about neighbors that hated each other ... they said never get on your neigbors bad side because that one neighbors house caught fire and the other one didnt call 911. I have always lived by that as a kind of golden rule. Wish others would follow.
post #94 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunanthem View Post
I just had CPS called on me also, my 3 yr. old crossed the street in front of our house while we were coming in from the car. I was bringing in groceries and thought she was right behind me. By the time I had put the groceries down in the kitchen and was headed back to the front door, a neighbor had her there and was yelling at me. I thanked her for getting her and said good bye so I could have a nice long talk with my dd. A few days later CPS called and wanted to stop by for a visit. I could not believe it. I told them, sure, come on over and see how well I take care of my kids! I had to waste half my day chatting with them about everything in our family life.

I'm so glad I have helpful neighbors.

I know exactly how you feel purplemoon.
Are you serious? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?!

Holy crap.
post #95 of 112
my son got out a few times when he learned how to open the doof before i got into the habit of locking it. usually i heard it open, but once i was in the kitchen and someone rang my doorbell.... i went and saw the door open and though "oh crap!" he had opened the door and was playing in the grass in the rain!

the lady was driving by and saw him and saw my door open and put 2 and 2 together

i about had a hear attack. he was about a year and a half or so
post #96 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Yeah, perhaps. I don't know for sure what I'd do in that case but for sure, it wouldn't be a given that I would grab the kid. I would LIKE to grab the kid, but I'm not sure if I would ...


I understand your concern, but honestly.. I am always helping other moms with their kids. .. ESP at stores! I'll see a child running away and a mom far behind so I'll just semi block the child and make eye contact with the mom to let her know I'm friendly. LOL I live in a southern town, and the attitude is pretty laid back here. If a child is alone, looks like it could be in danger, etc I always try to help out. If the parent gets mad.. well, I won't loose sleep over it. I just believe Children are precious, and that maternal instinct kicks in.
post #97 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties View Post
That is frustrating :

When I was in school there was a case about neighbors that hated each other ... they said never get on your neigbors bad side because that one neighbors house caught fire and the other one didnt call 911. I have always lived by that as a kind of golden rule. Wish others would follow.
Haha! I am chuckling at your point of view! I am pretty angry, though I still think I would call 911 if a house was burning.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta View Post
Are you serious? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?!

Holy crap.
I am totally serious. You should see our street too.. its a small residential street, its not 2 lanes, doesnt have a light, our front door is about ten paces from the street.. we ride our bikes in the street all the time, and there are tons of families on the street whose kids are always out and about, its a walking neighborhood, so you see dog walkers, strollers and bikes all day long, AND we have a sign on our front lawn that says "SLOW HILL 15 MPH".
CPS seemed to understand but wants us to ask our landlord to put up a fence, so that it never happens again. I am aware that it isn't safe for her to be crossing the street alone, and have always taught her to look both ways, and don't play in the street w/o an adult- but that day my dd simply told me she "wanted to cross the street". Kids are darn fast, and we can't have eyes on them every single second of the day, ya know?

I just wish my neighbor would have talked to me a bit more about it, instead of yelling or calling outside folks for help.
post #98 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.
All these things really make me sad here in America. People are frozen with fear, paranoid and over protective. I am originally from Russia and children run free with other kids playing in the street. neighbours talk to neighbours and help each other out.

I recently read a sad real story that had happened in GB, I believe. A toddler girl walked away from the kindergarden. The farmer passed by in a truck and didn't stop. he feared people would think he's a pedofile. The girl walked right into the pond and drawned. This is what happens when we are afraid to do the right thing because the culture tell us the opposite.

In my opinion, CPS is given too much power. i have heard of families ruined because of CPS intervention, children taken away from wonderful parents, parents on trials because of the CPS allegations. This system is not working well, something has to change.
post #99 of 112
When the cops show up ask *them* to help you fix the gate... Seriously. They'd help. Most cops want to keep kids safe and if they're is something to judge, it wouldn't be you. Cops usually see some messed stuff, even in small towns, so when they see a mama who wants to keep her kids safe and needs some help, they'll help.
post #100 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swan3 View Post
Mine's a runner and just the other day took off on me, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and COULD.NOT.KEEP.UP. I did run (sort of run) past lots of people pointing and laughing though. Grrr. In that case if someone had physically stopped her I probably would have thanked them profusely, but that's me!
And that's how it has always gone for me when I've helped catch a kid.

I do think, briefly, about what if the parent gets mad, and then I think "well, UAV like that deserves to be POed, them"

Mind you, I do say stuff like "wait for your grown-up sweetie" and generally make it clear that I'm catching the kid for the mom/dad/babysitter.
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