I read the other posts about mother and I felt like I am not the only one. I am glad to join this forum b/c currently I am very stressed and I was about to tell my sis who is very far. Thanks to this forum I dont have to worrry her.
I am very disappointed with my mother. she was not really there when I needed her. She always undersmines and I think she may do it unconcously but tries to prove me wrong. she almost alwalys so things that makes me feel down. I am married last year and I have a very beautiful baby girl (one Year) and I am 3 month pregnant. I feel my mam very unsupportive. But she wants to act as if she is very supportive and helpful and I know sometimes she feels guilt. Even most of the time she just says I wanted to support you or other but I am busy etc.... and she wants me to say no it is okey so that she will not feel guilty. Even when I give birth she come most of the time but does not stay for 2 or max 4 hours (for your information almost 4 month she was on leave). The sadest thing is she used to support and take of the maid (who is also my baby sitter) rather than taking care of my baby and me. she used to talk and work with her leaving me and the baby alone. Anyways I never slept not even for one day while I was in maternity leave ( for 49 days) and the last day before I go to work I wanted to have a day rest so I told my brother's wife that I will come with my baby and my babysitter and that I will sleep to your suprise my mam told me that my brother's wife said she will be troubled if we go there. Then I never forget that day I cried like a baby. But what was suprising was my brother's wife was very sad that I did not come and told me it is not troubel at all. It was my mother's perception. She was worried about my brother's wife worring offering us some foods rather than me sleeping and taking a rest of the last day of my maternity leave. To my surprise after few minutes she left me she even did not want to see my baby and let me sleep the last day even after she saw me how unhappy and disappointe and strssed I am.
she is not really supporting me and assisting me but acts as if I am a burden to her and that I cant take care of my self. Even when I fire the babysitter which were not taking care of my baby properly and which I was no more think that leaving the baby with her alone is no more safe, she shouted me like heal telling me that she is very busy and can not take care of my baby. Of couse I told her that I know what I am doing and I can take care of my problem. She even did not asked me if I have hired another nani which I did. even for one day guess what I did not realy on her on the first place b/c before a month or so this happened I asked her to wactch the baby as the baby sitter was not around and that it is diffucult to take for me to take 3 days leave consiquently. Guess what she even did not think twice she said she cant.
Know a days I am getting someting that my mother dose not have much love for me. she loves my sisters and my brothers more and it is soo obvious. Once she told me that she never really like me and that she is not confortalbe with me and that she wants and loves my sister more. She alwalys reflects this most of the time. Even last time it was my dauthers birhtday I show her the print out of her brithday celebration immediatly she asked me when my brither's dauther is immediately. I was disappointed. Seh always do that with my sister when something is about me she wants to stress more on my sister. I love my sister very much I am happy that she is kind and good mohter to her. B/c my sister is not only my sister she is my best friend, she is my mother , my advisor she is my everhyting but now she is very far away and I dont want to distrub her by e-mail.
anyways right now I am trying not to expect anything from her b/c it is my ecpectation that is hurting me. if I make my self belive that I have not caring, unspportives, judjmental, selfish, egostic mother then I will be at peace I will not be suprised what ever she did.
Thanks
I am very disappointed with my mother. she was not really there when I needed her. She always undersmines and I think she may do it unconcously but tries to prove me wrong. she almost alwalys so things that makes me feel down. I am married last year and I have a very beautiful baby girl (one Year) and I am 3 month pregnant. I feel my mam very unsupportive. But she wants to act as if she is very supportive and helpful and I know sometimes she feels guilt. Even most of the time she just says I wanted to support you or other but I am busy etc.... and she wants me to say no it is okey so that she will not feel guilty. Even when I give birth she come most of the time but does not stay for 2 or max 4 hours (for your information almost 4 month she was on leave). The sadest thing is she used to support and take of the maid (who is also my baby sitter) rather than taking care of my baby and me. she used to talk and work with her leaving me and the baby alone. Anyways I never slept not even for one day while I was in maternity leave ( for 49 days) and the last day before I go to work I wanted to have a day rest so I told my brother's wife that I will come with my baby and my babysitter and that I will sleep to your suprise my mam told me that my brother's wife said she will be troubled if we go there. Then I never forget that day I cried like a baby. But what was suprising was my brother's wife was very sad that I did not come and told me it is not troubel at all. It was my mother's perception. She was worried about my brother's wife worring offering us some foods rather than me sleeping and taking a rest of the last day of my maternity leave. To my surprise after few minutes she left me she even did not want to see my baby and let me sleep the last day even after she saw me how unhappy and disappointe and strssed I am.
she is not really supporting me and assisting me but acts as if I am a burden to her and that I cant take care of my self. Even when I fire the babysitter which were not taking care of my baby properly and which I was no more think that leaving the baby with her alone is no more safe, she shouted me like heal telling me that she is very busy and can not take care of my baby. Of couse I told her that I know what I am doing and I can take care of my problem. She even did not asked me if I have hired another nani which I did. even for one day guess what I did not realy on her on the first place b/c before a month or so this happened I asked her to wactch the baby as the baby sitter was not around and that it is diffucult to take for me to take 3 days leave consiquently. Guess what she even did not think twice she said she cant.
Know a days I am getting someting that my mother dose not have much love for me. she loves my sisters and my brothers more and it is soo obvious. Once she told me that she never really like me and that she is not confortalbe with me and that she wants and loves my sister more. She alwalys reflects this most of the time. Even last time it was my dauthers birhtday I show her the print out of her brithday celebration immediatly she asked me when my brither's dauther is immediately. I was disappointed. Seh always do that with my sister when something is about me she wants to stress more on my sister. I love my sister very much I am happy that she is kind and good mohter to her. B/c my sister is not only my sister she is my best friend, she is my mother , my advisor she is my everhyting but now she is very far away and I dont want to distrub her by e-mail.
anyways right now I am trying not to expect anything from her b/c it is my ecpectation that is hurting me. if I make my self belive that I have not caring, unspportives, judjmental, selfish, egostic mother then I will be at peace I will not be suprised what ever she did.
Thanks
