7.5 Year old non spanked child joking about spanking

[Stormy8]

I have never spanked ds, now 7.5. He witnessed it once at a doctor's office and was horrified, I told him in a loud enough voice for the mom to hear that I would never hit him like that.

Up until last year, he didn't know what the work 'spank' meant, when he asked me, I told him.

Last school year (1st grade) he'd come home once in awhile and playfully 'spank' himself and say, "Spank spank spank!" I gather that he learned this from the playground, where possibly some children and getting "Spank spank spanked"! and are acting it out.

I was horrified! I reiterated that we would never do that to him, it was never acceptable. But he 'liked' my reaction and would continue to 'spank' himself once in awhile (all in 'fun', he didn't try to hurt himself) to get my reaction. This still makes me so uncomfortable!! Do I just ignore it and hope it is ingrained that is never acceptable?! Thanks!

[sapphire_chan]

Drop it. He'll get bored and move on to something else disturbing, like fart jokes.


The fact that he's so obvious about it and so obviously doing it to get your goat is actually reassuring.

[denimtiger]

I would ignore it. Acting out behaviors is really normal as kids try to process what they see in the world. And you reacting only adds another element for him. I teach second grade (so 7.5 year olds are my world :-) ), and I see kids work through and process all kinds of things. It is especially an age for being fascinated with rules and regulations and the enforcement of them. It is a time of justice-seeking, and your son is probably processing how the idea of spanking fits in with his own ideas of justice and how things should be handled.

When you react, you give more power to that particular act.

My two-year-old, btw, is utterly fascinated with time outs. She loves the book Olivia because Olivia gets a time out for painting on the wall.

These are real things in the worlds and lives of our children, and I think sometimes we need to give them the space to explore them and decide for themselves where the idea fits and what they think of it.

You disagree with spanking - he has noted this. He will carry this with him. He is probably also seeing children he likes and parents he thinks are nice who do not disagree with spanking. He needs to make up his own mind. Chances are that his own background of a loving relationship with you and not being spanked will be the cornerstone that he ultimately launches from. But you reacting every time he mentions it will drag out his personal process of making sense of it.

At some point, though, when the novelty wears off, and he's moved on from acting it out in his processing, he might be able to have a thoughtful coversation with you about it. I'd mentally prepare for being able to discuss it with him in a rational way.

[Gray's Mommy]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Drop it. He'll get bored and move on to something else disturbing, like fart jokes.


The fact that he's so obvious about it and so obviously doing it to get your goat is actually reassuring.

This is what my 8 1/2 year old did! It makes a mom so proud!

[mommysarah5]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Drop it. He'll get bored and move on to something else disturbing, like fart jokes.


The fact that he's so obvious about it and so obviously doing it to get your goat is actually reassuring.

[Spirit Dancer]

LOL. I actually think it is funny. It is really no big deal. He will stop when the thrill of your reaction wears off

[zinemama]

Wait till he starts firing pretend missiles and dropping pretend bombs on his lego guys - or on you. You'll yearn for the days when he was only shocking you with play spanking.

[phathui5]

Another vote for ignoring it altogether.

[One_Girl]

I think you should ignore it. It is something that even kids who are spanked laugh and play around about. He probably sees it as a funny game, especially if he has learned this from kids who are spanked. As he gets older he will begin to understand that spanking isn't a funny game just as kids who pretend to kill with guns and other weapons will come to realize that killing isn't a funny game.

[karemore]

My daughter smacks herself on the butt at least once a week. I think it's odd but I don't worry about it too much.

I know that nobody has spanked her and she'd scream bloody murder if anyone ever did.

Is this dredging up memories from your own childhood?