irr-uh-TAYYY-ted!

[musiclady]

Yes, that is phonetically correct. :

I'm so irritated!!! My house is a freaking train wreck. My twin nieces came over today to help me clean. That was an absolute blessing from heaven.

Lilah has gotten into this routine where from 10pm-until she is up fussing and just basically being pissed off. DH is convinced it's gas, but why it takes her all day to *finally* have gas is beyond me. Or she needs more food. Seriously- I have fed this child ALL DAY, every 2.5 hours. Why would she suddenly need another bottle one hour later? Shoving food at her is not the answer.

So in the midst of all the crying and screaming, I ask him to pick up the paci and wash it off. Nothing. Ask him to pour her one ounce of milk (after nursing- but it just was going too slowly for her). Nothing. No response. No grunt. nothing. When I finally ask him if he heard me, he bites my head off. Probably not really, but hormonal me feels that way.

So I end up going into the bedroom and ask him to make bottles. He is having a serious case of "I worked hard and am tired" but duh- so did I. So I go downstairs to wash all the bottles only to find that he didn't do any of the dishes in the kitchen that I had to have help to clean. I specifically asked him to TWICE before I came up to pump.

I mean, am I speaking Swahili? German? French? Yiddish? Alien?

I absolutely hate it when I get annoyed with him. He is a great partner. But sometimes I guess everyone gets annoyed, right?

(did I mention AF is here in force? Nothing like AF without BC help)
:

[Erinz]

Originally Posted by musiclady

Or she needs more food. Seriously- I have fed this child ALL DAY, every 2.5 hours. Why would she suddenly need another bottle one hour later? Shoving food at her is not the answer.

I mean, am I speaking Swahili? German? French? Yiddish? Alien?

I absolutely hate it when I get annoyed with him. He is a great partner. But sometimes I guess everyone gets annoyed, right?

(did I mention AF is here in force? Nothing like AF without BC help)
:

LOL! Ummmm yup! Hey mommies aren't kick arse for nothing! We earn our titles as such because we realllllly are. NOt that the dudes aren't cool too, but mommies have something that most men just will never.... get.

Had to throw in --- watch the baby not the clock. 2.5 hours means nothing to an infant. Don't get locked into a prescribed schedule. I know you have been through hell and back, but remember that your baby can't read time and has no reference to it. Sometimes babies just want a drink, sometimes a full meal. Full access

[annekh23]

I don't know where you live, but here in the PNW yesterday was very hot, my usually dozy and infrequent nurser pretty much nursed all day.

[BoringTales]

Have you tried 'throwing food at her', and does it help? I wouldn't NOT feed a fussy infant at night just because I didn't think she was hungry.

When my babies are fussy I first check their diaper, then I offer a feeding. If the feeding is refused I try for a burp.

[phrogger]

I totally feel you on the not helping and just all around being a booger at times. My dh is doing the same thing, although after being with the baby all day, telling him that the baby was fussy and just wanted to nurse all day long, he gets home and was like "why isn't x,y and z done". UMMM cause the baby wanted to eat all day long, DUH.

Or best, I will say "oh the dishes need to get done" and he says "ok, I will hold the baby or put him in the swing". That isn't what I was saying, I was saying get off your ass and do it.

Or even better, the whole "is the baby going to go into his bed tonight, cause umm you know". While I am nursing a baby that has been eatting all day long as it is. YES I will put the baby in his bed and see if he will stay in it, but that is because I want to be left alone.

[musiclady]

Originally Posted by phrogger

I totally feel you on the not helping and just all around being a booger at times. My dh is doing the same thing, although after being with the baby all day, telling him that the baby was fussy and just wanted to nurse all day long, he gets home and was like "why isn't x,y and z done". UMMM cause the baby wanted to eat all day long, DUH.

Or best, I will say "oh the dishes need to get done" and he says "ok, I will hold the baby or put him in the swing". That isn't what I was saying, I was saying get off your ass and do it.

Or even better, the whole "is the baby going to go into his bed tonight, cause umm you know". While I am nursing a baby that has been eatting all day long as it is. YES I will put the baby in his bed and see if he will stay in it, but that is because I want to be left alone.

I can always count on you to make me laugh.

[mbravebird]

Yeah, I think these kind of partner challenges come with the territory. At least you know you're normal. It's part of figuring out parenthood -- figuring out how to make it work with your partner. And it's challenging as heck sometimes!! So sorry you guys had a rough night.

I would also say that the sleep deprivation, if she's been up a lot at night, is a huge contributor to the difficulties. I know that sounds like, "well, of course", but it's so, so true, and when the deprivation is really bad we forget what it's like to feel normal, and we think how we feel is our real selves. But it isn't!! It isn't. It's your sleep deprived self.

I have to chime in and say my kids eat more than every 2.5 hours. Not a full feeding more than that, but sips and snacks. And sometimes they do the cluster feeding thing, where it just makes no sense and it seems impossible that they could want more nursing/feeding. But they do. And sometimes they just spit it right up. But they want it still. Dunno, I just follow newborn directions. Other days it seems much calmer and more normal in the eating dept. Remember that even if she's getting a bottle, biologically she's programmed to feed like crazy during a growth spurt, in order to increase milk production in the breasts. So maybe she's going through a growth spurt??

Hope it gets better soon, mama... I'm sure it will.

[WeasleyMum]

I hear ya with the dishes. DH keeps *helpfully* gathering them up and piling them beside the sink, and I think, "would it be that much more trouble to just go ahead and wash them!?" I've been really undemanding re: him and housework because he works so many hours, and when he comes home he wants to hold the baby, reconnect with him. I get that. But when I come into the living room and see him kicked back on the sofa, baby cradled in one arm, beer in the other hand, watching TV... Sometimes I almost wonder if "I want to hold my son!" isn't code for "... so I can sit down."

ITA with the PPs about feeding; sometimes it's just what they need. I have the exact same issue w/ my DS-- he gets so fussy in the evenings. Sometimes, after eating every 2-3 hours all day long, he suddenly wants to be fed at 8, again at 9, and then at 10:30. If he's crying, I just see if he'll latch on... he won't if he doesn't want to. I know it's harder with bottles.