who/when are you telling?

[rollergirl]

so we told our parents yesterday, and we're telling our siblings later this week, but we're holding off telling our friends yet. we are excited, but nervous about the baby sticking. we had a bunch of friends over this afternoon for a cookout and it was pretty hard not to bring it up in conversation for each of us about 10 different times! so i don't know how long we're going to wait.. a couple of more weeks, i think. we told everyone at around 9 wks last time, although we had intended to wait until 12 wks or so.

what about your other mamas? what are you thinking??

[Luv2bemommy]

We just found out last night.. I'm thinking we are due end of March but I'm gonna stick with April because I always go overdue.

I've told a few people online. No family or friends yet. I'm sure it won't be positive reactions since this is our 6th child and our last one is only 6 months old.

Not sure when, I bet it gets slipped up. I'm having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. lol

[jenfl]

We immediately told my parents and DH's mom and sister. We decided to tell the people whose support we would want if we had a loss.

I'll tell my close friends and other family through my private blog around 6 weeks, then tell Facebook and everyone else around 12, probably. DD will find out sometime after that.

With my first, EVERYONE knew from just a few days after my BFP. I just couldn't keep it quiet, it was on my mind all the time! With the toddler and me even forgetting I'm pregnant some times.... I don't think this will be too much of a problem.

[slowtime]

I'm telling my parents and sister tomorrow. My sister and I are flying in to visit my parents for a few days - the first time we've all been together in one place in four years.

My husband is telling his family tonight or tomorrow. He's flying in to see them for a family funeral.

We're not telling anyone else until I start getting morning sickness or we see a heartbeat. I didn't get to experience either one of those things last time, and we'd told way too many people. Un-telling was terrible.

Even then, it's just our closest friends. No one else until the second trimester.

[Riverbeauty]

We told EVERYONE as soon as we found out!

We called parents, grandparents, my sisters, and several friends... I posted on Facebook, my local AP board, and ICAN...

[ryleeee]

i told my friend whitney who is a doula, my buddy kalvin...an old friend alison, a couple girls from my first DDC on here (oct 05), and ...hmm...maybe nobody else. i'll tell my mom tomorrow if i still have a BFP after POAS in the wee hours of the morning, and then i'll try and get ahold of my sister and derek's family. (he has like 6 brothers and sisters and most of them have families)...so yeah, busy! i'll tell my family, my grandparents, blah blah blah...closest friends...
oh yeah i told my starbucks barista! he was excited

[ivymae]

I told my best friend the first day, mostly because she was in town on a rare visit, and I wanted to be able to tell her in person this time. I'm debating telling a few other friends at our weekly playgroup today, since they knew we were trying and are the people i will lean on if something happens, but telling people always embarrasses me. I'm not keen on being the center of attention, so something like this feels like waving a big flag, "Look at me! I'm creating a miracle!"

DH wants to tell his parents right away, but I feel even less inclined to share with them this early, since they have been pretty adamant this last year that we should stop at two. I just want to bask in the happy secret for a while, before i have to justify it.

[finn'smama]

I've told some close mama friends, all who I will want support from if this doesn't work out. I've told my mom and sisters too. We haven't told dp's family yet, but we will next time we see them, I'm sure. They'll notice when I decline a beer anyway, lol!
I'll tell people at work sometime after 12 weeks and facebook announcements will go out after that I guess, hehe.

[chubbycheeks]

I've only told my old DDC members. We won't be telling till we see a heartbeat at the earliest, and may hold off till 12 weeks. We've announced all of the pregnancies around that time. We tell immediate family first, then a general announcement to friends. I guess I have to consider Facebook this time too!

[aylaanne]

I've told the internet, via my twitter, my blog, and my DDC. There is one person IRL who found out through my twitter, and one person who I told. We're not telling anyone else for a while, because I don't want to. I like having the secret.

[floiejo2]

We haven't told anyone yet. It's just so early. We waited till the 12 week mark with our first and then told everyone right away with both mc's so I'd rather not do that again. I'll probably tell my mom this weekend, she's coming for a visit and maybe a really close friend soon, but otherwise we'll wait until at least the heartbeat visit.

[ivymae]

Ha! Well so much for the plan of just telling a few people - my three year old walked into our Mamas group today and told a room full of people that her mama was pregnant, and that she thinks it is twins, and that she wants it to be one girl and one boy, and that their names should be Pippo and Skippy, and that she will change their diapers, and on and on and on. We hadn't even told her yet! That is what i get for underestimating her though - I know she's heard us say a few things, but i didn't realize she could stitch it all together. So, the word is out around here.

[rollergirl]

that is HILARIOUS ivymae!!! i keep expecting sir to spill the beans on us -- he got to tell one of his uncles and one set of grandparents "I'M A BIG BROTHER!!" but it hasn't occurred to him to mention it around friends. we've been slowly telling folks here and there. we wanted to wait awhile, but it looks like neither of us has the patience. and well, if things don't work out, well, the don't. at least, that's how i'm trying to feel about it.

[floiejo2]

That is funny. I'm positive H will tell everyone she comes across as soon as she knows. It's been harder than we thought though not to tell her yet, we basically can't talk about it until kiddos are in bed. And I want to tell her daily, she's going to be sooo happy and excited, she's been begging and wanting a new baby for over a year now. We've had to explain the life and death cycle a couple of times lately because of a grandpa and our dog so I don't want to add to that if anything happens.

[sew_crafty_girl]

I've just told my sister and my internet friends. We'll probably say something after the 7wk u/s because I have trouble hiding the tummy early on. It's tough though because we've lost a few babies after everything felt safe. It's awful for the kids to get excited and have to tell them the bad news, but it's also awful to keep it from them because they're older.

[Carley]

I saw my little peanut's heartbeat this a.m. - everything looks wonderful and healthy, so I posted the u/s on my Facebook. I still need to call some family - but we're definitely "telling" at this point.

I just heard from a really close friend of mine - she's almost 5 months pregnant. I understand it's everyone's choice to tell when they feel comfortable, but I have to admit it feels jarring to be told so late in the game. It's her preference - I totally get that - it just feels odd to have been kept in the dark about something so important.

We had only told a few people prior to today - my IL's, my mom & my aunt - I just told the people who I'd want to have right there if something didn't go right. My IL's & Aunt were a wonderful support for me in my previous unsuccessful pregnancies. I do understand wanting to wait until it feels "safe," but in a pregnancy - when does that really happen?

[HisBeautifulWife]

Originally Posted by Carley

I just heard from a really close friend of mine - she's almost 5 months pregnant. I understand it's everyone's choice to tell when they feel comfortable, but I have to admit it feels jarring to be told so late in the game. It's her preference - I totally get that - it just feels odd to have been kept in the dark about something so important.

Might I ask why?

We have told our parents but I really don't plan on telling anyone else. My husband is trying to get through to me that I shouldn't feel that way but I don't really get it. I just feel really protective over this time. Why do I have to tell people if I don't want to? Why can't I enjoy my secret without having every person in the world in my business giving me advice and commentary that I really don't want to hear?

I know I'm weird but I would like to get another perspective on this. Maybe something will click and change my mind.

[rhiOrion]

Maybe it has to do with how private a person you usually are?

I'm SO not private. I mean, I'm not one of those people who walks up to total strangers and starts talking about my personal life. But I generally don't have many secrets, and I tell my friends just about everything.

So to me, the idea of keeping this a secret just blows my mind. If it wasn't for my DH, I would've already told facebook. But I agreed to just tell my friends personally for now, and not tell the whole world wide web (you know, except MDC!)

Most of my friends are equally un-private- so I would be really hurt if one of them didn't tell me they were pregnant until they were already 5 months. I did have one friend who I didn't find out about until she was at least 6 or 7 months, but she wasn't really a close friend anymore, and I found out later that there were issues with the baby, and they weren't sure for a while that he'd even make it (he's perfectly healthy now, luckily).

So I think a lot of it just depends on the person and on the people around that person. But ultimately, it's each couple's decision to make, of course.

[HisBeautifulWife]

Originally Posted by rhiOrion

Maybe it has to do with how private a person you usually are?

Ah, yes, that may be it. I am a very private person.

DH isn't so much so he thinks I am purposefully being strange when I'm not. It's just how I feel.

[ivymae]

Originally Posted by HisBeautifulWife

Might I ask why?

We have told our parents but I really don't plan on telling anyone else. My husband is trying to get through to me that I shouldn't feel that way but I don't really get it. I just feel really protective over this time. Why do I have to tell people if I don't want to? Why can't I enjoy my secret without having every person in the world in my business giving me advice and commentary that I really don't want to hear?

I know I'm weird but I would like to get another perspective on this. Maybe something will click and change my mind.

I think it also depends on the kind of friendship it is. I have two friends I see almost daily and who know most of my inner thoughts, haha. They knew right away, but otherwise, I felt extremely embarrassed telling people (my daughter did most of the telling, while i stood with my jaw at my feet). Even telling family feels strange to me - it's a sort of "Hey everyone, look at me, I'm making a miracle, I am special!" Which, yeah, we are, but I don't want to be treated any differently than I always am, and I know people get weird around pregnant women.