Leave your worries and anxieties here

[jenfl]

This is a place to leave your worries and anxieties so they don't have to rattle around in your head!

Well, I'm worried about splitting time and attention between 2, especially because we'll be in the early stages of Montessori home schooling when this little Sprout arrives.

I'm worried about the baby stage because DD was SO HARD as a baby (undiagnosed dairy allergy causing reflux and sleep issues).

I'm worried because things are so easy now -- DD is verbal, I get to sleep through the night! It'll be another 2.5 years before we're back to this level of stability!

I'm worried because PPD hit me pretty badly last time.

I'm worried because DD is gentle and nervous -- how will a crying baby and, eventually, a rambunctious toddler, affect her?

Reassurances -- we're living near family this time... I can recognize and treat the PPD... I don't have to work like I did when DD was a baby... DH is home a lot, so there's two of us and plenty of hands... I actually know what I'm doing this time!

I can handle this.

[rollergirl]

what good timing with this thread! i was having some freakout moments this morning and i didn't know what to do with them.. didn't want to blog -- friends don't know yet, didn't know if it was too soon to be posting about pregnancy crazies on here...

i think we have some similar worries, jen. i feel guilty whenever i am with DS but then remember i am making a NEW DS (i think he's a boy already. probably because i WANT a boy. and because of when we DTD. and just cause). and i just worry about my relationship with first DS. i KNOW we are doing the right thing. that having another baby is GIVING something to DS, not taking something away. but we are so close and such good buddies and that will change when we bring another person into the picture, even if for the better. and i am a bit worried about change

and i worry a little that i won't bond as much with the new baby while he's inside like i did last time since i'm already so distracted by DS. and i KNOW we'll bond pretty swimmingly once he's out, but i feel guilty that already i can't give him all the time and attention that i gave DS when he was in there.

ah mama guilt/worry!

reassurances -- well, i know we are doing the right thing. and at the right time. i know DS will be a GREAT big brother and i know they will have SO MUCH FUN together some day. and i know that probably most mamas worry about this the second time around. just like all the other worries i had the FIRST time around were pretty common.

whew. thanks for starting this thread, jen! i do feel a little better already

[Realrellim]

What a great idea!

I'm worried that I'll throw up for 37 weeks straight again, even on meds.

I'm worried that I'll be so exhausted that my poor DD will be stuck playing too many computer games or watching too many videos.

I'm worried that the LO won't stick.

Reasurrances: I did survive the last pregnancy, despite the m/s and I'll explore some new avenues for treating it this time if need be. Also, I'm teaching less than I was when pg with DD, so perhaps I can channel what energy I do have to her and it will all be ok.

[Riverbeauty]

I am working through residual birth trauma from my son's cesarean birth 2 1/2 years ago. I am afraid that I will be put on the birthing roller coaster and that I wont be able to stop it in time to get off! I am trying for a VBAC this time around and I am afraid that the only local doc who will even think about taking VBAC cases will think I am too high risk to take me on. If that happens he will send me to the University of Washington in Seattle and that means lots of travel time and I could STILL end up with another cesarean! I am worried that it isn't worth it to fight for a VBAC.

[finn'smama]

Good idea!

I am worried that I cannot handle three kids! Sometimes I have trouble with the two I've got...
I am worried about ppd again.
I am worried this bean won't stick.
I am worried about money and childcare when the baby gets older.

reassurances: There is more space between this baby and ds2 so I'm hoping it will be a little easier than it was going from one to two. I am no longer nursing anyone, I won't have to tandem, no one is sleeping in my bed. I think this pregnancy will be more restful. Plus my kids are going to be very excited when we finally tell them!
I will be on the look out for ppd and treat immediately.

[floiejo2]

I hear you Finnsmama, I'm also worried about having three! I almost lost it at Walmart yesterday trying to help both girls use the restroom and thought, what in the world am I going to do with three??

I'm scared that I'll MC again.

I'm also worried about money, now and in the future.

I'm worried about some major dental work that NEEDS to get done ASAP and now what am I going to do about that? I can't lose teeth because of this.

I'm scared of morning sickness again. I'm scared of the newborn stage, both our girls were super hard.

Reassurances: I feel like our family will be complete with this new addition. My girls have both been begging for a new baby so they'll be thrilled. My second is so much more easy going than first so having a new baby with her being 2 yrs 8 mos will probably be easier than it was last time.

[Mama2 '05'06]

I'm worried about what MIL will say when she finds out, which if I have my way won't be for a couple months yet! Why does she care anyway??? I know dh won't keep in under his hat so I haven't even told him yet.
Sometimes I worry that I'm crazy b/c after all, there are times that I really feel like loosing it when the others are doing ridiculous things and if I can't deal with the 3 I have, how can I add a baby to the mix?
But then, I'm do thrilled that if I don't think about those things, I'm fine- more patient with the others even. :

[kikidee]

I'm worried b/c I had a miscarriage in May and I don't want to go through that again.

I'm worried b/c I had a c-section w/ DD and I lay awake at night thinking about the big scar that's in my uterus and the scar on my skin -- it sounds crazy, but I worry that they will rip open as my belly grows.

I really want to do a VBAC and I also worry about the ramifications of that vs. another C-section. I will be doing a lot of research about that in the coming months.

I guess that's it.

[Riverbeauty]

Originally Posted by kikidee

I'm worried b/c I had a miscarriage in May and I don't want to go through that again.

I'm worried b/c I had a c-section w/ DD and I lay awake at night thinking about the big scar that's in my uterus and the scar on my skin -- it sounds crazy, but I worry that they will rip open as my belly grows.

I really want to do a VBAC and I also worry about the ramifications of that vs. another C-section. I will be doing a lot of research about that in the coming months.

I guess that's it.

check out ICAN

and the ICAN forum

[blue butterfly]

i have three miscarriages in my past so i am just super worried with every cramp and every time i swipe that toilet paper or if im not feeling enough symptoms. i know i just need to think positively but it can be so hard especially right at the beginning.

[slowtime]

I also worry about miscarriage. It's hard not to. I monitor my symptoms obsessively, I pray for morning sickness, and I check for blood every time I go to the bathroom.

I just want to fast forward to the second trimester.

[rollergirl]

Originally Posted by slowtime

I also worry about miscarriage ... I check for blood every time I go to the bathroom.

ugh! i do this too!

[ivymae]

I check for blood every time also, and need to stop checking my cervix, because it freaks me out.

I am also on edge because I did not sense this pregnancy the way I did the last two. With my girls, I sensed their presence before I ever thought to test, but this time I tested to prove to myself that i wasn't pregnant... and I am. I know I am busier now (x936736), and that I do not have nearly as much quiet reflection time, but hearing the heartbeat will be a relief. 8 more weeks to go

[tri31]

Hi, I am so stressed. My older kids are coming home from their Dad's tommorrow. They are gonna be bummed. Eventually they will come around and be excited about the baby, but not this week. It is hard to hide this sort of thing from people you live with, especially curious teens. Dd will "know" something is up. Dh has me laughing about it right now. Sigh..Life is complicated.

[blue butterfly]

to you tri31

[chubbycheeks]

Originally Posted by rollergirl

ugh! i do this too!

Me three!! And I thank God everytime I see nothing. Ugh, the stress and joy of being pregnant.

[SkyGrrl]

Originally Posted by ivymae

...
I am also on edge because I did not sense this pregnancy the way I did the last two. With my girls, I sensed their presence before I ever thought to test, but this time I tested to prove to myself that i wasn't pregnant... and I am. I know I am busier now (x936736), and that I do not have nearly as much quiet reflection time, but hearing the heartbeat will be a relief. 8 more weeks to go

I am probably (not entirely convinced yet) pregnant for the second time after a M/C in March (@ 6 weeks). I have the same concern as Ivymae because with the first one, I *knew* I was pregnant well before the test. I have such different feelings this time, but the home test (ClearBlue taken on Wednesday) was truly a BFP, and I'm definitely feeling tired. Plus, the first one ended in M/C, so maybe different is good.

I can't wait to pass 6 weeks and will probably see the midwife around 8.

[DoulaAlicia]

OK! I was trying to avoid this thread. Trying to leave my anxieties and worries in such a far away place that I didn't need to verbalize them. But - that isn't working at all.

Honestly I trusted my body thoroughly through three pregnancies. And then a m/c. A very early one indeed. But still a loss. And I didn't want to be "that woman" that I see out there on the internet talking about her losses. But I am. And now only 2 months later I'm pregnant again. But now instead of trust I have utter worry pretty much every moment of the day.

Since my m/c seemed to happen overnight - one day sore bbs and swollen "water weight" stomach and the next ALL of that gone along with every other symptom I know it can happen fast.

I'm worried when my bbs aren't so sore. I'm worried if I get loose stools. I'm worried when I don't feel tired for an hour. I'm worried when I feel a pinch or cramp. I'm worried if lots of hair falls out in the shower (usually when I'm pregnant I lose hardly any hair during washing). I'm worried when I go to the bathroom that there will be blood on the toilet paper. I'm worried it could be worse and I could have a late pregnancy loss or a traumatic birth. I'm just so darn worried.

Reassurances: I am strong. I feel like this pregnancy is strong. I love my kids and my life. I think my baby will stay if he/she was meant to stay. I have faith in my midwife to help me through whatever happens. I've done this. I can do this.

Today 4w4d - tomorrow will be the day I lost the pregnancy last time. I just want that day to come and go and I hope to emerge from it still with with a healthy life inside of me.

[jenfl]

DoulaAlicia -- First off, .

Having not had to suffer through a miscarriage, I have no words of insight or comfort. I can't even imagine what it must be like. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and sending good vibes for it to pass uneventfully. I hope that afterward you can find a bit more confidence and enjoyment in your pregnancy.

[jenfl]

I'm finding myself concerned about whether this is a viable pregnancy. My symptoms are not nearly as strong as they were with DD. I could write them off individually -- less nausea due to B6, less exhaustion due to not working full-time -- but together, it concerns me.

Add in that I'm having vague cramps again (which could be stretching) and that my cervix seems more open than before my BFP, and all together I'm not sure where this is going to end up.

I talked to DH today, and he said he'll support whatever decision I make about my care. If I want to stay hands-off and see what the future brings, he's fine. If I want to see a midwife or OB to have levels drawn or an ultrasound done, he's fine.

For right now I'm going to let things go. DH is having some minor surgery tomorrow, so I'll probably avoid doing anything for a few days until he's recovered and things are more normal. I don't have an OB/GYN or a midwife, so going anywhere is going to require all of the new patient mess. I'm not really looking forward to that.