do i have to tell everyone??

[larzanna]

Hi:

So i have a DS. He is almost 11 weeks old now.
I left him intact, even though i was unsure....my reasoning, its not my penis.
Anyway, i am just now getting to where i MAY leave him with a friend, relative, babysitter at the gym ect...for an hour or two.

Do i really have to tell everyone that i leave him with that he is intact, don't retract, clean it like a finger, its fused bla bla bla. This was the main reason that i was so unsure about leaving him intact in the first place, was that i did not want to have to always be on "penis patrol" as i call it.
Watching and warning everyone like a hawk.

It feels weird to have to mention it, like its MORE difficult, or weird or somthing. I mean if he was cut i would not say anything, so it seems weird to have to tell people about his penis.
So what do i do? Do i really need to tell people who may change his diaper?

And what do i say that is simple to the point and does not make people think that it IS weird, and does not make someone feel bad for not knowing, but gets the point across that IF you retract you can hurt him even if you think you are just doing a good job of cleaning.

I'd really rather not mention it at all though.
Thanks for your thoughts on this......

[elisheva]

It may be different here in Canada, but the majority of boys are intact - I think it's considered the norm here now (at least in my corner of BC...). I wouldn't say anything. They can call you if they have a problem. If there's anyone you think might try to retract his foreskin, then I'd say something for his protection.

[JamieCatheryn]

I don't think to tell people when I've left my kids with others while in diapers, it's a rare occurrance anyway, but it's probably a good policy to briefly point out that foreskins are not to be retracted, especially if they may have been told otherwise before.

[Sasharna]

I would explain. Better safe than sorry.

I live in a low circ area if the states and even here, it is exceedingly common for people to be under the impression that an intact penis requires cleaning under the foreskin. I would consider it dangerous to assume anybody knows about retraction and why not.

I say something along the lines of: "Oh, by the way, his penis is intact. I just wanted to make sure that you're aware that the foreskin shouldn't be retracted for cleaning. That used to be taught but now we know it can cause tearing and infection. Just wipe like a finger if it gets dirty. Thanks!"

[dogretro]

I would definitely tell the caregiver if they did not already know. Like Sasharna said, better safe than sorry. And, really, is someone going to suggest that you take a three-month-old baby in for cosmetic surgery at this point? A simple, "He is not circumcised, please do not pull his foreskin back when you clean him, it could hurt him," would suffice I think

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It is a lot easier to tell them not to retract than it is to repair damage done by forced retraction

I know it is akward but make it light and airy like "Oh, while I'm thinking about it. ds is intact, not circed so when you change him just wipe it like a finger"

Dont make a big deal about it but if they have questions you can then go into more detail.

[PuppyFluffer]

I think I would tell them. I would make it a point to say that the foreskin is attached to the penis like fingernails are to a finger and that nothing can get "in there" to need to be cleaned out. Some people are so certain that they know you need to clean in there. I would make certain that I said to pull back the foreskin would tear the skin and hurt the baby a lot! The infant foreskin is an immature organ.
This bit of instruction might open up a conversation with someone who does not have a baby boy yet and it will plant a seed and......we know that seeds planted often some day grow and develop into educated people!

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by larzanna

It feels weird to have to mention it, like its MORE difficult, or weird or somthing. I mean if he was cut i would not say anything, so it seems weird to have to tell people about his penis.
So what do i do? Do i really need to tell people who may change his diaper?

I don't find the bold statement correct. About 70% of circ'd boys develop adhesions and in this case, just like with an intact boy, you need to tell everyone (including doctors, nurses) to leave it alone, otherwise you baby’s adhesions will most likely be torn by an ignorant doctor or child care worker. Of course you don't "have to" tell, but then there is a reasonable chance that sooner or later your baby will be harmed (especially if you live in high circ area).

I'd rather care about safety and well-being of my baby than being worried about what some people may think about me. Anyone who got anywhere near my son's penis (including doctors, BEFORE the diaper comes off) was clearly inform to NOT push his foreskin back under ANY circumstances, not even a little bit and it paid off, my son was never retracted by anyone.

[SuzyLee]

To em it depends on the age. My sister, I wouldn't say anything. She has no reason to think it is a big deal.

My mom (who didn't circ my brother against doctor reccomendation) was taught to retract teh foreskin to clean @ every diaper change. So I now worry more about older people than younger people.

[njeb]

Originally Posted by SuzyLee

To em it depends on the age. My sister, I wouldn't say anything. She has no reason to think it is a big deal.

My mom (who didn't circ my brother against doctor reccomendation) was taught to retract teh foreskin to clean @ every diaper change. So I now worry more about older people than younger people.

:
I would be especially concerned about older people. I left my sons intact at a time when that was rare, and I WAS instructed to pull it back. I didn't know that that was not called for until I started posting here 4 years ago! :

So, you *should* instruct us. You can keep it simple.

Anyhow, my sons survived. They're now intact adults.

[sept15lija]

I was worried about telling my daycare provider too. I worked up my nerve (lol) and just told her that he is intact and all you need do is wipe it like a finger and not to retract him, she said she appreciated me telling her as she is not used to changing a boy's diaper (she runs a small daycare in her home and he was only with her a few hours a week - the other couple of kids she has are out of diapers).

I definitely told my MIL though because she was the one who was encouraging circumcision. Unfortunately until normal penis care is the norm, people will have to be told in order to protect our little guys.

[skylarsmom08]

For me, it would depend on who you leave him with. I'd tell family and friends all about intact care, esp if you will leave him on multiple occasions. They're going to need to know eventually. However, if I was just going to the gym (my max workout would be an hour) I'd ask them not to change him at all...I'm not comfortable with strangers handling my children's body parts. Change him before you leave and tell them to come get you if he poops.