17mo biting--how to discipline?

[luckygreen713]

My 17 month old dd is a biter. She has been biting since she was an infant. She started at around 4 or 5 months old, before she even had teeth. She's always been really intense about it. She gets this sort of crazed, determined look in her eyes when she's going in for a bite. When she's tired or frustrated or in pain, she bites. HARD! At first, when she was a little baby, she would bite me in my face, usually my chin. I was always holding or wearing her, so I was the only she bit for a while. Once she became mobile she started biting my older dd and my dh. When she bites, she really grabs a good hunk of flesh and tears at it, shaking her head. It really hurts and leaves teeth marks and bruises. She reminds me of a puppy and sometimes I'm tempted to laugh, even though it hurts like heck. I don't laugh because I know that'll just encourage her to continue. It's really become a problem. Now, whenever she gets mad at her sister (which is oh...about 35 times a day)she bites or tries to bite her. I notice it gets much worse when she has teeth coming in. Right now she has 1 more molar that still needs to come down a little and I think she's getting another 1 or 2 teeth. I've given her lots of different kinds of teethers. I've encouraged biting safe objects. I try to redirect her to another activity. It doesn't help. She knows it's wrong, I can tell from the look on her face after she bites. She looks satisfied with a little smirk. I tell her "I know your teeth hurt/you're sleepy/you're hungry/you're angry, but we don't bite each other. That hurts and teeth are not for biting people." At this point I give her something that is ok to bite and try to solve the problem (feed her, lay her down for a nap, etc). Is that all I can do at her age? I feel bad for my 3yo dd, who doesn't deserve to get bit. I think it's time for discipline, but I really don't know how to go about it. I mentioned it to a lady I've known for years, a family friend, and she suggested I bite her back!! She was serious. I WILL NOT BITE MY BABY!!! So, what can I do, if anything?

[foreverinbluejeans]

Many people will suggest biting back. Of course not a good idea!

I had a son that bit, not to the extent of your daughter, and it turned out part of it was he had a jaw problem. He had TMJ and arthritis in his jaw and heat and massage helped. He had more treatment as he got older including sleeping with the bite guard and other therapy. He is now 29 and still has problems.

Obviously even if your daughter had a physical problem that is not the only thing going on. It may have been what started biting and then she saw how great biting is for her. I encourage you to get her jaw checked out. I always felt bad when I was upset at my kids and something turned out to be a medical problem.

We lived in a mobile home park and the neighbor girl was a biter. She was only about 2 but she would hide and run and bite people. I would have to stay outside with my kids and watch for her.

One day I was sitting in my lawn chair and I had a bat by me because my boys had been hitting balls in the field. Her father thought I had the bat because of the girl. He picked up the bat and swung it at me without saying a word to me. I ducked and he hit my mobile home causing damage. The police were involved. The girl went to foster care for awhile and they were evicted. Parents of other kids that had been biten filed police reports.

I don't want to scare you but if she can't stop biting you can't be around other people. If she bites multiple people you could be in trouble.

[mom2grrls]

I would shorten your response to "biting hurts" and then "bite this" when you hand her what she can have. they really won't understand or pay attention to long sentences at this age. I would just stay close by while the girls are playing, perhaps even getting involved in the play so you can perhaps stop the biting. it will pass

[luckygreen713]

Thanks for your advice, pp's! Luckily she only bites me and my older dd and sometimes dh. She has never bitten another person's child, even though she has had plenty of opportunities. So hopefully she won't be the kind of kid who can't go out and play because she bites. I really think she'll grow out of it. I can already see that it has peaks, when she's getting new teeth. Hopefully when her mouth doesn't hurt anymore she'll stop. But I'm still going to look into TMJ and other jaw probelms that may be causing it. I will definitely shorten my response to her biting, instead of trying to explain why she shouldn't. And although I usually stay pretty involved with my daughters' play, I'll still keep trying to prevent it as much as I can. She's sneaky though. Again, thank you both for your advice!!