Chat thread: July 20-26th

[mags]

OK, starting a new chat thread, mostly for the benefit of those who are still babyless.

Don't know if anyone is feeling this way, but I am feeling very frantic and desperate. I've been having bloody show and for the past two days been losing big chunks of mucus plug. I had contrax 7-10 min apart ALL day Sunday, and then by the evening, they just went away. A few random contrax yesterday. Today, I am having some contrax, but nothing to make me want to time them. I'm feeling like this baby isn't going to ever come. I thought for sure I was going to have him last Tuesday. It's been over 2 wks now of this prodromal labor garbage. I'm not even excited to meet the baby anymore, I just want to NOT be pregnant anymore. I'm also in a super bitchy mood. I obviously do not have the ability to read my body signs very well, so feel like a food for having no instincts at all. DH took the day off yesterday to start his leave, and I sent him back to work today. My mom has been here since Sunday, and I feel bad for her, will probably send her home today. My sil is getting induced tomorrow and I'm actually JEALOUS of her, which I NEVER thought I'd be. My parents are supposed to drive out of state to visit sil and my brother this wknd. UGH, I'm so ready for this to be over with, what a nightmare of a pregnancy this has been, I'm just sooo done and now I am dreading having to go through labor, b/c I am stuck with the ob that I don't want.

[Knitgeek]

BIG HUGS!

I have been having prodromal labour for a few days so I can imagine your frustration.

I keep trying to remind myself to relax and let it happen. All anxiety and frustration act as barriers.

Hang in there!

[kellykins]

Also joinging the prodormal labor party I guess?
I have had a few half-days full of 20 and 15-min apart contractions, and nothing further....
ugh.

I know it is just a soemwhat random date but ther eis something so discuraging about being "past dates"....

[leighann79]

My prodromal labor has stopped and I'm just have occasional contractions now. My main problem is that I have no patience any more. Plus, my 3.5 year old is being horrible. I'm sure it's just that she is stressed about the changes about to happen, but I have very little patience left to deal nicely with her. I just want to have this baby so we can move on to the next stage and I can deal with it like myself again.
I'm 39 weeks on Thursday and find myself plotting how I'm going to get this baby out. Not that I'm going to do anything, but it helps me pass the time. LOL

[alicewyf]

I'm only 39w3d but I am totally ready to be done. I have a lot of pelvic pressure and pain and it is very difficult for me to get up from a sitting/ laying down position without a lot of "wailing like a banshee" as my husband so nicely puts it.

I lost my mucus plug over the weekend, but nothing else is really happening. A little loose stool this morning but I am prone to that anyway so I'm not taking it as a sign. I feel crampy, but they aren't contractions.

I have my 39 week appointment tonight and I am totally having the midwife check me. I thought I could hold out and not know my dilation/effacement but I totally failed at that last week! A week ago I was almost 2cm dilated and 80% effaced, baby at -1 station. I hope to have made a little progress compared to last week.

[Angelorum]

Hugs to all you mamas trying to be patient!

I had my 39 week appt today and baby has dropped! I was expecting it to feel a little more obvious, and while I did notice a change a couple of days ago, it was so slight I wasn't even sure about it. But, I lost 3 centimeters since 38 weeks, and the head is no long floating so high. I have no other signs of anything else going on yet, but it's encouraging to me that yes, my baby's head really does fit down in my pelvis! I think I better put all the birth supplies together in one box...

[mags]

Leighann79- I too have totally lost patience with my kids, I've just had it. My two have been acting rowdy since this morning and I have been in a really foul mood to top it off. I have yelled at them many times. Finally, my mom took them outside to play and gave me about an hr to decompress. They came back in, STILL hyper (where the hell are they getting this energy????), had to prode them to eat their lunch. After lunch, they went out to play again and then I put them down for naps. BOTH of them were goofing around, sneaking out of their rooms, running around the hallway slamming doors (my mom was in the guest room trying to rest and I was in my own room trying to rest as well). I was PIISSED. Came out of my room and yelled at both of the kids. DS2 finally fell asleep after crying b/c I yelled at him, DS1 continued to screw around, then my DH tried to call me. It was obvious I was NOT going to be able to lay down to take a nap. I just got fed up and decided to take a bath. The bath sucked, our tub is not big enough that I can even cover my belly, which is something I tried, b/c a friend suggested it to help me relax, so I had a cry in the bathtub, b/c I'm just not happy right now with my situation at all.

Now I'm back to having contrax every 6-7 min, but quite honestly I don't know if I should even take it seriously, b/c my body has been playing one big joke on me for the past two wks, I feel like I don't know what to think anymore. At least my DH is home from work. What a crummy day. I hope that those of us dealing with the prodromal labor get some relief soon. I'd rather have absolutely NO signs of labor, than deal with the prodromal labor junk, it just gives you false hope and it's like mind games. I haven't talked it over with my mom whether she should try to stay one more day or not (she lives an hr away). With my luck, I'll send her home and then labor will come on suddenly and I'll have to drag my other two kids to the hospital with me. What a sucky day.

[lindsayjean]

gah- I'm 40wks 2 days and I am ready to be done, but not really feeling "labor-y" at all. I just want to have this baby!!!! I went to prenatal yoga this morning, which DID help me feel more peaceful and calm about the fact that i am still pregnant. Maybe it's because my DD was born at 40wks1day so this is the most pregnant I've ever been and I don't really FEEL like it's going to be soon. Oh man I hope this is my last week being pregnant or I am going to break down.

[paintedpictures]

I hear you! I am 40 wks 1day. My midwife checked me this morning and said I was effaced (forgot to ask how much) and soft and dialated a fingertip. A FINGERTIP!!!!! LOL! It's almost like she felt bad so she said a fingertip so I wouldn't give up. Honestly, I don't feel all that bad but dealing with my 3yo has been a little difficult if only because my energy level isn't at it's peak.

The hardest part of all is that I'm having a VBAC and every day is one day closer to a c-section. Luckily I have until 42 weeks to have the baby on my own (and I did go into labor and my water broke with my son) but it's hard not to feel like there is a guillotine hanging over my head.

I am sending you all labor energy! Let's ry to think positive thoughts and visualize our babies being born! :

[leighann79]

Mags--- ((((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry you had such a rough day!

[Angelorum]

Forgot the other update from my appt today. After a quick pinch test on my nipples we decided I should wear breast shells to help draw them out better (they retract a bit). I've worn them all afternoon now, they don't hurt, but they are making me sweaty, and leaky! Anything I leak just collects in the bottom, I had to dump one of them out at work. Ah the crazy things that happen to our bodies during this whole trip.

[alicewyf]

Angelorum: I'm glad that your care providers helped you w/ the breast shells and stuff before you deliver! That is awesome. Mine have not looked at my breasts once, but I don't think I have any retraction issues. Anyway, it is great that they are looking out for you like that.

At my appt. last night I was "a loose 2cm" dilated, still 80% effaced, bulging bag of waters, anterior cervix, and had some bloody show during the exam and have continued to have it since getting home. They are SO surprised I haven't already given birth yet! I've had regular contractions since the exam, but they haven't picked up or gotten REALLY regular...more like 10-20 minutes apart, all night. I haven't been able to sleep more than an hour at a time because I have to get up to pee...which is why I am up so early right now. I'm also having terrible dreams, and I have no idea why...probably due to stress. I think I might try to sleep a little more before DH leaves for work this morning.

I hope everyone's babies are ready to come out soon! This waiting is really hard.

[Angelorum]

ugh. Just received a certified letter from my landlord. It came right as dh was headed out the door, so we haven't opened it yet. He'll be back in a couple of hours, and then we'll see what's in it. I was hoping this whole thing was just going to blow over, but now I'm sitting here anxious about what on earth good he could have to say in a certified letter.

[moonygoony]

Man, I am so glad I'm not the only one having waiting irritably and anxiously for labor! I'm taking solace in the fact that DH is home from work today and tomorrow so he can take care of the boys while I try to be less of a crazy mess.

I've come up with two resolutions though to help curtail my impatience.

1) Until my cold is gone, I need to stop begging my body and baby for labor. Being sick while laboring and postpartum sucks, why am I wishing it on myself?

2) No more cervical checks and no pot stirring until I hit my due date next week (30th). Out of a spirit of professional curiosity, I've been checking my cervix frequently throughout pregnancy (in the midwifery practice I work in, we rarely do exams). I think that has driven me more crazy than I could have anticipated. Who knew a cervix changes so much day to day and sometimes hour to hour!?

[BlessedEarthMother]

My EDD is Friday. So far no signs of labor. Baby is dropping lower so I finally feel like I can breathe I am dealing with low hemoglobin that I just haven't been able to get up no matter what I do. It's not extremely low but it is low enough to make me feel exhausted from daily activities.

I am not dealing with any impatience over going into labor or anything like that. But I have been feeling anxious about the fact that I am about to be a mother of 2!! I feel like I must have been crazy to want to have another baby.

I am very concerned about how my 2 year old is going to deal with the change. He has been through a lot this year. First we moved from NC to OH to live with my parents when my husband lost his job. The move was rough on him and just when he was getting comfortable we moved out of my parents and into our own place about a half hour away. He has been having a hard time adjusting to not having Marmie and Pop Pop around and tells me all the time that he wants them to live at our house. Now he is about to face another huge change with the birth of his little brother. We have tried to do as much as we can to prepare him for being a big brother but there is only so much explaining you can do with a 2yo. He is a sweet boy but he has an aggressive side that scares me. I am so afraid of him hurting the baby! I have a feeling that I am going to be completely on edge for at least the next year. I am nervous about how he is going to deal with the bed sharing and if it is even going to be safe to have everyone in bed together. He quit nursing in February but still needs to snuggle close to my breasts to fall asleep. Today he told me that my ninnies belonged to him and not the baby and the baby is not allowed to have any. I am so scared. I want this transition to go as smoothly as possible for everyone but it's not looking too good.

Right now I am so worried about DS1 and I was talking to a friend who has two girls. She told me that after her second daughter was born it was just the opposite for her. She was so worried that baby #2 wasn't getting the same kind of attention that her first daughter did. Who knows how it will all play out once the baby is finally here. I guess that millions of other kids have adjusted to new siblings and lived to talk about it and my son will too. I just can't believe how nervous I am about all of this and I didn't even really think of any of this when we decided to get pregnant again!

[paintedpictures]

Originally Posted by BlessedEarthMother

Who knows how it will all play out once the baby is finally here. I guess that millions of other kids have adjusted to new siblings and lived to talk about it and my son will too.

I am nervous too. My son (3yo) has been so emotional lately! He cries at the drop of a hat and gets so angry at the smallest things. I can't help but feel that I am dropping the ball at meeting his needs during the day. I know that I have not been able to play with him like I used to (we are a very physical bunch) and I can no longer hold him. I always offer him a hug or to sit on my lap instead of a hold but I still feel guilty.

My husband keeps telling me he will be fine and that this is temporary and that lots of kids go through this all the time but it still hurts to think I may be letting him down in some way.

[Angelorum]

Well, we just read the letter. Our landlord is essentially kicking us out, and we have to be fully moved by August 22. My due date is on Sunday, and I'm not looking that ripe yet, so this could potentially be 3 weeks or less after having baby. Honestly, while I know this is going to be stressful, I am somewhat relieved. We were strongly considering moving next month anyway, because we don't feel safe living here anymore under the thumb of someone we've discovered to be so nasty. And now that us moving is his doing, nobody in that side of the family can give us any flack about leaving him without renters and putting him in a bad situation financially. I still think he's shooting himself in the foot by kicking out reliable renters from a house he wants to sell, but I don't care anymore. At least I don't have to wonder anymore about when/if we are moving.

[kellykins]

ugh, Angel- sounds like it is all for the best in the end!!!

[BlessedEarthMother]

angel- i am so sorry you have to deal with this situation with your landlord. I have had some terrible landlords in the past and I know how awful it can be. I am a firm believer that everything we experience is ultimately for our highest good. It sounds like you are seeing that in this situation- good for you Hopefully you can find some friends and or family to help you out so your move is not so stressful. Good Luck!

[Angelorum]

My MIL is down here and offering all kinds of help, from paying for movers, to helping us front the cash to cover the security deposits (not sure we're going to be able to get anything back from our current landlord), and packing some boxes now of the unessential stuff. She really doesn't want me to stress about having to work too much to make this move, and dh is currently trying to finish up a big project for his dad's business, so they have good reason to want him to be able to work as much as possible on work stuff instead of moving. I'm really grateful we have so much help being offered.

We looked at one apartment tonight, and are going to see another tomorrow morning. The one tonight was ok, but for some reason I have a lot of emotions tied up into what kind of place we end up moving to. I really doubt we'll be able to find as much space as we have now for the same price we've been paying. This is ok, as we really don't need this much, but now I've been spoiled. The other thing is light. The apartment we saw tonight was a basement, and so all the windows aren't really above ground.

Our first apartment was kind of dark, it had a window in the bedroom and a sliding glass door in the living room to a patio and that was it. They faced North/South, so not a lot of sunlight could make it in, and this was in the seattle area, where there's just not a lot of sunlight to be had. I had a really hard time adjusting when we moved there, I was all of the sudden home alone all the time, and pretty isolated. I fell into this unmotivated/depressed funk, and it took me a long time to get out of it. I'm scared that I'm going to have the same problems with a newborn and being isolated and the thought of living in a dark, cramped space just makes it seem that much more overwhelming.

I really did notice the difference when we moved here. We have lots of windows, they face east/west, there aren't any trees or anything blocking them and it's a much sunnier climate.

I was in a much different emotional space when we moved here, just started going to school again, worked outside the house with other people etc. Maybe I just associate those positive emotions with living somewhere brighter and airier and that's why this feels so huge to me.

The apartment we're going to see tomorrow was advertised as a "bright basement" and is bigger than the one today. Depending on how the utilities work there, it may be too much though. I'm crossing my fingers we find something that we can afford and doesn't feel gloomy.