I have an almost 4 year old (OCT bday). She is the most creative and sweet little thing a good majority of the time 
. However, when she is frustrated, angry or just mad because things don't go her way, she kicks or hits us. If she is laying in bed or lying down anywhere she will thrust her legs up and onto the bed or onto us. I don't understand why she is doing this. We are absolutely lost as to how to guide and discipline when it comes to this behavior. We of course have always encouraged her to use her words and express her feelings, but that only goes so far when she is angry and isn't going to get her way with something. I have tried holding her in the past or using phrases such as "Mommy loves you and wants to be close to you and play, but I cannot do that until you are able to settle down and be kind to me". Sometimes I think she has no idea how to do that. I try to help her by suggesting to take slow deep breaths or try to talk about something else to get her mind of of the anger inducing problem. Once she settles down eventually, she is able to talk things out. So many times though, she will make noises when frustrated such as "EH, EH, EH!" while kicking or hitting. I don't know why she does this and it makes me so sad that she does do it.
Example: Lunch time today was the last time: She was eating lunch and took a few bites and told me she was done and ready to eat a piece of chocolate. I explained that she needed to put some yummy healthy food in her body first before she eats any chocolate. She then insisted that she ate enough and that she was done and wanted a piece of chocolate. Of course my answer was going to be no....but I left it open ended, I told her that if she ate her lunch then she may have a piece of chocolate afterward. I told her that I was sorry that she was frustrated but Mommy knows what is good for her body and that she needed to eat lunch. This resulted in her hitting me. I explained that hitting hurts and that we may not hit each other, that she needed to use her words. She disappeared and came back with a small ball and threw it at me. I then took her to her room and closed the gate at the top of the stairs and told her, "I am not going to allow you to hit me, hitting hurts my body. When you can be calm and kind to me, then we can be together". All the while I am not far from her. She did settle. But, when I went up to talk with her she would just make frustrated noises (EH, EH, EH). If I tried to talk to her she would ignore me. I am really not sure what the best route is.
Please tell me this is normal. Has anyone else experienced this and come up with a good solution to guide this behavior in a better direction?
J.
. However, when she is frustrated, angry or just mad because things don't go her way, she kicks or hits us. If she is laying in bed or lying down anywhere she will thrust her legs up and onto the bed or onto us. I don't understand why she is doing this. We are absolutely lost as to how to guide and discipline when it comes to this behavior. We of course have always encouraged her to use her words and express her feelings, but that only goes so far when she is angry and isn't going to get her way with something. I have tried holding her in the past or using phrases such as "Mommy loves you and wants to be close to you and play, but I cannot do that until you are able to settle down and be kind to me". Sometimes I think she has no idea how to do that. I try to help her by suggesting to take slow deep breaths or try to talk about something else to get her mind of of the anger inducing problem. Once she settles down eventually, she is able to talk things out. So many times though, she will make noises when frustrated such as "EH, EH, EH!" while kicking or hitting. I don't know why she does this and it makes me so sad that she does do it.Example: Lunch time today was the last time: She was eating lunch and took a few bites and told me she was done and ready to eat a piece of chocolate. I explained that she needed to put some yummy healthy food in her body first before she eats any chocolate. She then insisted that she ate enough and that she was done and wanted a piece of chocolate. Of course my answer was going to be no....but I left it open ended, I told her that if she ate her lunch then she may have a piece of chocolate afterward. I told her that I was sorry that she was frustrated but Mommy knows what is good for her body and that she needed to eat lunch. This resulted in her hitting me. I explained that hitting hurts and that we may not hit each other, that she needed to use her words. She disappeared and came back with a small ball and threw it at me. I then took her to her room and closed the gate at the top of the stairs and told her, "I am not going to allow you to hit me, hitting hurts my body. When you can be calm and kind to me, then we can be together". All the while I am not far from her. She did settle. But, when I went up to talk with her she would just make frustrated noises (EH, EH, EH). If I tried to talk to her she would ignore me. I am really not sure what the best route is.
Please tell me this is normal. Has anyone else experienced this and come up with a good solution to guide this behavior in a better direction?
J.
