repetedly breaking the same rules

[pomplemoose]

DS,5, has been constantly riding his bike in the street, he has had it taken away 3 or so times, grounded from it from weeks, and told how dangerous this is. we live in an apartment complex and the parking lot is safe to ride in but he just always goes past where he is supposed to. When he was playing tag at his grandmas (we werent there) he got hit by a slow moving car so you would think he would understand how dangerous cars are. Today while i was standing there watching him he went into the street again. I told him to get off the bike and asked if he knew what he did wrong. He told me i rode in the street and im not supposed to. So he knows the rules without question.

I almost just want to get rid of his bike to show that im serious, but DP seems to think thats extreme. what would you do in this situation?

[earthmama369]

In that situation, I would put the bike away for a long time. He's clearly demonstrating that he's not ready to follow basic safety rules yet. He may have the physical skills to ride the bike, but he doesn't have the decision-making skills. DS has done this with a few different things, and after repeatedly breaking the rules, it just goes away. We might try again in a month, but he only gets one chance the next time and the first time that safety rule is broken again, it goes away again.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I think that, for whatever reason, there is a disconnect between his cognitive knowledge of the rules and his behavioral ability to follow the rules. I wouldn't assume its volitional, and I wouldn't assume that negative consequences (punishment), if you can just make it severe enough, will fix it.

Sounds like he can't ride his bike without maximum supervision. Not as a consequence, but simply for safety reasons. The bike should be locked away and only brought out when a parent is able to give him undivided attention.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Bike riding in the park or with the family only.

[karemore]

I wouldn't get rid of the bike, but I agree that he isn't ready to be riding where there is access to the street.

I would limit the bike use to a bikepath somewhere if available, or a school parking lot (summer only obviously), unused tennis court.... I'm sure by next year he'll be past this phase and ready to be trusted at your place again.