HELP--IDEAS--2 y/o getting physical with 1 y/o

[riomidwife]

Mamas I need your help. My son just turned 2, and our regular playmate is only 1. My son has never had aggression or hitting issues before, and maybe this is just part of becoming 2, and I guess I'll see quite soon just where this is going. This whole world of discipline is all new to me. We tend toward a CC/unschooling parenting approach, and have never had cause to even consider "discipline" approaches before.

Now that my DS has more awareness of how kids are around him are interacting, he observes older children being physical and hitting, he was slapped in the face a few weeks ago--hard--and now he has begun to test the limits with his little friend with the occasional shove and swat.

How do you respond?

When do you intervene?

The other child is still a baby. How do you comfort the hurt one and discipline the other at the same time, when they're both crying and upset?

Any on-the-spot- tips, resources, books, strategies are much appreciated. Thank you!

[paphia]

I think the best way to prevent letting your child hurt his playmate is to get down on the floor during playtime and run defense. Expect that your child is going to try to do something physical. Be ready o grab his hand, redirect him, or remind him to ask Mommy for help if his playmate is upsetting him.

Also, you need to be the one to explain "the rules" to him because how else will he know? And enforce them because kids need to test those boundaries to really understand them. He isn't developmentally ready to have a lot of empathy for anyone else, so keep things simple: "We don't hit, hitting hurts. Let's get a different toy."

[riomidwife]

Originally Posted by paphia

Be ready o grab his hand, redirect him, or remind him to ask Mommy for help if his playmate is upsetting him.
.... keep things simple: "We don't hit, hitting hurts. Let's get a different toy."

Thanks for you reply! I can't see myself policing their every interaction though, that just isn't going to happen. They're running around all over the yard and doing their thing, it's not like we're all sitting on the floor playing together. I am doing the 'we just don't do XYZ' approach and it has worked with other things in the past, but it is not sticking this time.

[mom2grrls]

I would say if you can't stand by during play to perhaps end the playing together for a while and see what happens in a couple months.

[riomidwife]

Hmm, how many mamas are constantly on standby watching over their kids' every move???

Sorry, but the suggestion to not be around other kids is not very helpful! It's not like this is the first time this issue has ever come up for anyone, right?
If you have 2 kids at home how do you handle these situations?

I should be clear, the pushing has only happened a few times, and only after a random child came up and slapped my LO hard across the cheek....I don't think he is overly physical or aggressive for his age, on the contrary. Other children his age I observe in public places are FAR more aggressive.