Wanting to go away for a night but ds(2) is not nightweaned

[Mere]

In the fall dh and I have an opportunity to go to my college reunion without the dcs. My parents have said they would watch the kids, which would be great because generally, I don't think many of the reunion activities will be that exciting for them. My hangup of course, is ds2, who will be almost 2.5 by that time. I have no qualms about him doing fine without me during the day, but I am not sure how nighttime would go. He still sleeps with us and nurses during the night (I'm not sure how often). However, he generally does not nurse to sleep anymore at night...these days he's more of a 'wander around the house and fall asleep in random places' kind of a kid. So, we know he can fall asleep on his own, and Dh thinks he might do okay if he sleeps with dd. Dh also thinks that if I'm not there, he won't need to nurse (that whole 'out of sight out of mind' concept). I don't know though! I'd hate to leave my parents with a crying child at night, and I'd also feel bad for dd if she couldn't comfort him. And of course I'd feel terrible for ds2 if he really needed me and I wasn't there. Has anyone ever successfully left a non-night weaned older child for a night???

[mom2lucy]

I have left DD 3 separate nights overnight with my mom (4 mo., 8 mo. and 16 mo.) and she has always done great. My husband and I are actually taking a weekend trip in a few weeks and we will leave her again with my mom. I, too, was really worried about the nighttime since we also co-sleep and she is attached to me pretty much all night, but it went really well. My mom just had a sippy cup to give her some water if she woke up and she did fine. She usually only wakes up 1-2 times for her and it has never been an issue to fall right back asleep.
I would totally go one night away, especially if your kids are comfortable with your parents.
Good luck!

[mamakah]

Your LO will be fine. It will be harder on you.

[Ravin]

My DD had a disastrous time when I left her home one night with DH for a retreat at about that age. But if she'd been at my mom's, I honestly think she would have been fine. My mom has mad skills with the LO's, and being in a new/different place, she wouldn't have expected everything to be the same, if that makes any sense.

Would your parents be willing to take him into their bed when he wakes in the night? Not to mention letting him sleep where he lies, if he's in that sort of phase?

If it's only for one night, I'd give it a try. One night isn't going to traumatize him for life, kwim?

[staceychev]

My DD had several sleep-overs with my mom before she actually night-weaned. She did wake up and ask for milk, especially the first couple of times, but my mom explained that she didn't have milk, and offered her a snuggle instead. It helps that my mom co-sleeps with her. (In fact, we don't co-sleep anymore, but "Nina" still does!)

[phrogger]

I have babysat for my girlfriend when her dd wasn't night weaned. We had a plan, that if she wake and really was fussy, I was willing to nurse (I was pumping after a surrogacy pregnancy), but I wouldn't offer, it was only going to be a last resort type of thing. But the child never once asked, never once cried and slept through the night with no problems at all. She wouldn't do that for dad or mom, but I think because it was my house and she knew I wasn't mom and didn't feed her, she wasn't getting anything. She was 2 at the time. I think you will have a much harder time then your little guy.

[luv-my-boys]

A few yrs ago I was still "night nursing" DS but was hospitalized unexpectedly. Obviously the kids and DH could not stay with me for obvious reasons plus I really needed my rest. I was seriously worried about DS bawling his heart out at home with poor DH I literally stayed awake thinking about it. I shouldnt DH said that my son whined for me but that he knew I wasnt "there" and so fell asleep. Now he did sleep with DH but we'd take that over a screaming baby all night. It seems that at that age children may know your not "there" per say and so not look for it. Can you try being out of the house a few nights (even if sitting in the car down the street) during his usual bedtime to see what he does. If he totally bawls for you at least your close by but if not you can have a little assurance that he can self soothe alone without you.

[Mere]

Thanks so much for your replies...I think I will go for it! It sounds like my dh might be right about being in a different environment, with dd and grandma putting him to bed, he won't even expect to nurse...that's what I'm going to hope for anyways! He also understands a lot, so I think that if dd and my mom explain to him that I won't be there at night, he'll get it.

As for myself, I'd better find a pump to borrow! I bet I will be in PAIN come the morning, if I haven't leaked all over the sheets by then that is....

[columbusmomma]

My DD, almost 2 isn't nightweaned. I left her with my parents for the first time when she was 23 months. She did wake a few times but my Mom just rocked and sang to her. She was fine! And like a PP stated, I think it will be more worrysome for you. I think your DS will be fine! And yes, don't forget your pump!! I was in pain without one!

[Litcrit]

I've left my daughter with others in the evening (not overnight - no opportunities yet) a few times and she was always fine, although she normally nurses to sleep. Toddlers easily get that mom's not there, there'll be no nursing, but grandma tells great bedtime stories and snuggles just fine!

[WildinTheory]

I did this a few month ago with my almost 2 1/2 year old. It was two nights and everyone was very worried about how DS would do overnight. DH and Grandma were home with him and explained many times that mommy was on a trip and wouldn't be there for mommy milk at night. When I called DH after the first night, I was all ready for the worst. He said, "Ummm he didn't wake up once." It was fine!