how much do you live on?

[mommariffic]

Hi

I'm NOT a single parent, but I'm debating leaving or taking a "leave of absence" from my marriage if we can't work on things.


Question is: I am a freelance writer and I make roughly 1,000 per month under the table. I live in a high tax area, and I don't drive. My husband is our "bread winner" and if we moved I'd probably move to a more urban area where we could walk everywhere/I could rely on public transportation and NY for more writing jobs and opportunities

My questions are:

Money wise, how do you budget? What's acceptable to live on you think? What determines child support?

[kriket]

let money be your last factor in your decision i stayed in a crappy relationship because of money.

[robinchap1]

As far as child support, I think it varies by state. I bet you could get that answer easily enough by googling your state and child support. In MA there is a formula to determine. The variables that go into the formula are each person's salary and the cost of health insurance and daycare. I think that's it. Expenses do not factor in.

I would figure out the child support and add that to a baseline salary that you feel you could maintain. Then make an estimate of expenses: rent (may have to look into this a bit), utilities, food, childcare, etc. Make sure you leave yourself a little leeway for what you've forgotten. Remember that you are entitled to take some of what the two of you have in the bank right now. Just because he is the "breadwinner," doesn't mean that money is not yours as well. You contribute in different ways (taking care of the children, your home, etc.).

It is do-able. If this is what you need, you can do it. You can live on less than you think.

[meemee]

here is how i did my budget - cut down to absolute basics

rent --
daycare 50%
utilities
phone
food
transport
sundries
clothes, others
fun money

add in any other expenses you might have like health insurance.

and voila - there's your bare bone budget.

for me my biggest expenditure is rent which i was able to take care of by sharing a duplex. there are many a times when there is NO fun money. before when my dd was younger daycare was my biggest cost.

you have to decide how bare bones you wanna be and then go from there.

if you know your dh's income there is a CS calculator online for every state. however i knew my ex would stop CS when he felt dd was at a manageable age so i did not depend on it. and sure enough when she was 3 he stopped giving me money. however when i went down to bare bones he again picked up a lot of her clothes, shoes expenditure.

[josybear]

i live on less than 1000$/ month. maybe closer to 700$. i ride my bike, get food at the food bank, and only do fun things that are free. i also eat a lot of rice & beans. if being free of the relationship is more important than luxuries and security, living like this is worth it. it is for me, definitely.

[BabyBearsMummy]

DD an I live on (all expenses) less each month then most other families in out area spend on groceries in a month.

We have no luxuries and I need to save our tiny treat (ice cream or lunch on the run) funds in order to purchase new clothing items for DD or myself.

But we are two happy peas in a pod and I am working very hard threw the speed bumps life throws in my way to change our future for the better.

[AlwaysByMySide]

I second that you shouldn't stay because of money. I did that too. Bad idea.

I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. We live on well under $1K a month, but we don't live in a high COL area. My mortgage is $550/month, electric is $35ish, internet/TV is $50ish. The rest is food and gas.

There are many of us that do not receive child support at all, and can make the ends meet.

[sugarmoon]

I can live on pretty close to nothing. When xh and I first split I was living on 1800/month, with 1250 of that going to rent. I get food stamps, and we all get health insurance from the state.

I now have a job (but my c/s went way down b/c of that) so now I'm living off of about 2200/month. I am about to move for the 3rd time inside a 12 month period:, but each move has been a money saving one, and this one will be the best. My rent will be way low, and at this point, I qualify for almost 100% of my daycare subsidized by the state, so my "spendable" income should be increasing. I don't get as much in food stamps as I did a year ago, but I still get some.

I just don't go anywhere that I could spend money. This is pretty easy for me, since I hate shopping. But seriously, I aim to hit the grocery store twice a month and the drugstore/walmart maybe once a month? Other than that, I pretty much don't go. We almost never eat out. Since I get foodstamps, I do treat my kids to picnics with deli meat etc that I can buy on my food card, but that is our *treat* not our regular groceries.

We eat a lot of simple stuff, which, again, is just as well, since my kids are pretty happy to eat noodles, quesdillas, and pbj sandwiches 90% of the time.

I don't find it all that hard. As long as you can cover your bare bones budget as pp outlined, you'll find the rest will fall into place. Just don't go into stores

[Shiloh]

Honestly if its just a break from the marriage, why not negotiate a period of time and an amount of money that you need. Unless you need it to feel more final. Child support is not usually that negotiable its a set amount, then the extras are factored in - childcare, medical, insurance, special expenses and who pays how much of what. Also don't forget about spousal if he really earns a lot more than you you might be entitled to alimony.

Above all get some legal advice before you leave.

[lilyka]

My budget is insane. I spend $3000 a month in a low cost of living area. I have a house I cannot afford. got stuck with it in the divorce and cannot get rid of it to save my life. my car blew up and I had to buy a new one. i wanted one I could pay off with alimony and have paid off by the time alimoney ended. it will be paid off in 4 years and will be warrentied well until my baby is driving (and will still be in great shape by then). plus everything else in the world that I had to get caught up on and figure out. i think we are settled now though and things should start going down and if I could just sell this house!!!!!

things to keep in mind. public transportation is not free. be sure to budget for that. we have crappy public transit and it would still cost us $120 a month to use it (not including the taxis when the bus is not running like on sundays and such.) child support is based n how much he is making and take into account how much you are making. I have three children, my xh makes very good money and I only get about $1000 a month. part of the reason I get that much is because I make so little (around $1000 a month).

[KCMommy]

My recurring monthly bills:

Rent - $1350
Elec - $150 avg
Phone/Internet - $150 avg
Heat - $300 - $450/mo (in winter)

I don't have a vehicle, but spend a fortune on food. Way more take out and restaurant eating than I would like to track or admit.

I get $1000 in child support now, but am entitled to much more, if we ever get around to it. Gov't gives me $650 in Child Tax Benefit and $200 in Universal Child Care Benefit monthly.

The difference, I pay for with earnings from my daycare. We're starting to do alright, though I really starved the first few months after seperation.