Mishenchnas Av, Mimaatim B'simcha -- Jewish Mothers, don't get rid of joy completely!

[imnottelling]

Welcome to a new month, new hope for the future. Looking forward to seeing POSITIVE posts by everyone and hoping all of the wishes for "refuah sheleima" in the last thread have come true!

[smeisnotapirate]

Subbing. Getting rid of joy big time around here, so I'll just say that I hope everyone else has gotten their wishes for r'fua sh'leima.

[SaraFR]

subbing as well

[Magelet]

subbing as well.


r's to everyone who needs it. I'm so sorry, sme.

I met with a woman today who runs an organization called Jewish Milestones. Its really interesting. Its a local non-profit with a twofold mission: that helps jews not affliated with a synagogue create meaningful jewish lifecycle events (mostly by helping them contact people who can "officiate", "mc", "direct" or "do" the/a ritual, by maintaining a lending library of ritual objects including a torah, and by having a particular support system of helping people develope bar and bat mitzvahs outside of a synagogue), and also to organize workshops and learning opportunities and bring together to share their knowledge those ritual and milestone ummm I guess I'll call them facilitator's? This peice in particular sounded interesting to me, and she lent me some books on jewish pregnancy, and said she'd put me in contact with some jewish birthworkers. I'm so excited to meet some other jewish midwives and doulas and learn how they incorporate judaism into their practice, how they don't, and how they help their non-jewish ladies incorporate their own religion/spirituality. She also lent me a beginner's hebrew book!! yay. maybe it will help me learn a bit better.

the synagogue sent out a newsletter about what they're doing on tisha b'av, and now I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do. Part of me would like to go to their services, and I might. I'm also thinking of not going however, because (maybe this is silly), but my dp said he'd "do" tisha b'av with me, (at least the fasting) and its weird for me to go and not him, if he is also fasting, imo, but I don't want tisha b'av to be the first synagogue event he goes to. I want him to go first to something joyful, and hope he likes it, you know? I've been hesitant to take him, because I don't want to push him away from the idea of judaism, when he's coming towards it more. (I don't think he'll get here enough to want to convert, though I could be wrong, but enough to really enjoy it as we raise jewish kids together would be ideal, vs not liking it, kwim?)

[smeisnotapirate]

Magelet, that sounds like an interesting group.

Just for perspective, my DH's first "synagogue thing" was Simchat Torah. BOY, was he overwhelmed! The singing and dancing and unrolling the Torah was great and fun, but he just kinda sat there like :. Not sure he knew what to think. Maybe a regular Shabbat service would be the best way to "initiate" your DH to things. Kinda be the balance between Tisha b'Av and Simchat Torah.

(This coming from a Jew who also secretly is hoping her DH will convert - I want a Jewish wedding, darnit! : He's already raising his baby Jewish, so I think it's a logical step.)

[tikva18]

Magelet, that sounds interesting.

subbing here.

[Ruthla]

Magelet- maybe go to Tisha B'Av services only in the evening, but not the daytime services the next day, or vice versa.

[tikva18]

So, the first positive post from me here.
We had (sorry, starts with the bad first) our basement flood when we got 10+ in of rain not that long ago. The carpet was sopping - water squished out as you walked. This was most probably caused by my sweet children who threw balls onto the roof which then got stuck in the gutter - making the rain fall straight down into the basement. Our basement quickly got moldy and mildewy.
We hired a guy who was going to come right out and tile it. Well, he got carjacked on the South Side - and lost his truck and tools. Fortunately, he and our friend knew who did it - and he was able to get his stuff (truck etc) back.
It ended up, that he could only start after the 3wks had begun - but since we were dealing with mold issues (and my kids' allergies to molds) + displacing Akiva from his bedroom (in the basement) we didn't want to wait.
The rav said we could go ahead - as we weren't really remodeling, but doing a repair.
Hooray! They finished today and it looks really nice. I have to put the furniture where I want and voila! done. I would like to paint again - and may do it sooner than later as Akiva can't sleep down there while the paint is being done - + they repaired some holes in walls (grr - don't ask how they got there) - so that has to be repainted as well.

I'm excited. Fresh starts are the best kind. Hope for a good future.

and, on a different topic, I've been participating in a self-portrait photography group. I'm really enjoying it and hope to improve my very weak camera skills. In any case, the last picture I did, I've been getting such a kick out of it - I can't stop laughing and keep going to look at it again and again. So, here's a link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/19953971@N08/3741876766/

[flminivanmama]

i love that picture!

[smeisnotapirate]

Tikva, that was so cute! I feel like that every time I look in a mirror (I assume that's your mother or grandmother).

[Ruthla]

That picture is great!

So is repainting the basement considered part of the "repairs" or is that considered "decorating" that needs to wait until after the 3 weeks?

[Chavelamomela]

Well, DH is improving, though slowly. Please keep him in your tefilot for a complete and speedy recovery (Daniel Yitzchak ben Avigail). He's improved nicely where he can put some weight on his right leg (the bad leg from the accident), still on crutches, extremely limited mobility. His dr. said he's in no condition to return to work anytime soon.

He's scheduled for his first (probably of several) surgery on Tuesday (yeah, 2 days before Tisha B'av...). The Orthopedist doesn't want to wait longer to do the surgery because his knee is getting worse, rather than staying the same. (This surgery is on his left knee, for a torn meniscus. This is the "good" leg...)

We're probably looking at up to 2 other surgeries. One for his shoulder (could be as soon as a month from now) and on his other (right) knee. That one will be several months away (after the baby comes at end of September, IY"H.). We have to wait for the swelling to go down on that leg and for there to be diminished signs of "RSD" (AKA chronic pain stuff in his leg...not good stuff).

DH also has classic signs of PTSD (post-traumatic stress). He started seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in this to deal with his stuff.

So anyway, things are progressing, slowly. I am feeling okay for almost 8 months pg, just tired.

[tikva18]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

That picture is great!

So is repainting the basement considered part of the "repairs" or is that considered "decorating" that needs to wait until after the 3 weeks?

In this case, I think it's still repair. I'm only doing it because of the issue with holes in the walls. I would not have been repainting otherwise. I jsut painted the basement a couple of years ago. And the reason I'm doing it is because it's much cheaper that way.

Chava, may he have a refuah shleima!

Oh the picture is of my mom.

[Ruthla]

Ugh. I can't stand the 9 days. I just don't feel full or satisfied, ever. I can't eat dairy products or legumes, and I need my meat!!!! The fact that I just got my period (and really need the red meat for iron) isn't helping. At least Shabbos is coming up and I can eat meat tonight and tomorrow.

I am SO not looking forward to fasting after nearly a week of "semi-fasting"- ie, not really getting what my body needs, even if I do get enough total calories and protein.

[imnottelling]

Yeah, I think I should have asked a rabbi last year about meat when I was anemic postpartum (I had excessive bleeding almost to the point of PPH, but they were able to stop it with Pit and methergine) and TB was 2-3 weeks later.
After my second was born, I tried eating a whole bunch of chickpeas for protein, and ended up throwing them up. I have yet to be able to bring myself to eat them again, and my stomach doesn't tolerate beans.
At least this year I don't have the anemia problem (that I know of!) but I wonder what would happen if you asked a rabbi re: anemia and meat? Hoping Shabbos gives you some well needed iron!

[imnottelling]

Ruthla, I read in Halichos Bas Yisroel by Rabbi Webster (?) that there is a psak out there that a menstruating woman can eat chicken if she feels it's integral to her well being. It can't hurt to ask a rabbi

[Ruthla]

I'll ask about that next year. I think I'm OK now- I ate a lot of meat over Shabbos, and I'm no longer menstruating.

[Kmelion]

I am SO not looking forward to fasting in this heat...

Last year I was told by our Rav to take it easy since I was 'newly pregnant' (only about 6 weeks along) and I was nursing. This year I'm just nursing but the heat has been unbearable at times.

[Chavelamomela]

DH's surgery went well.

He also got a cast on his right arm yesterday because they just discovered that his wrist was broken too.

He's also developed a neurological condition called RSD in his leg...not pleasant stuff...

Anyway, I am trying to stay positive and keep myself from being exhausted all the time...I'm going to take a nap now.

[Ruthla]

I'm glad his surgury went well. R'S' to him.